help needed!!! please!

[stealth2]

Actually, CJane's responses to you were spot on. Regardless of what motives Mom may have (or that you ascribe to her), her actions were legally appropriate. Bruises sometimes take a day to appear. So he may have appeared "fine" when you took him to school, but bruised when she picked him up.

And yes, you may want to check the attitude at the door of the courtroom.

 

[Just Blue]

CJane...I'M being self-righteous? LOL. Nah, just not going to admit to something I didn't do. OH, and in case you missed this too, my own department had a Personal Violence detective investigate it, and I've been exonerated. Child Services also chose not to open a file on it. Its also a TRO, which is a Temporary Restraining Order**************...in other words, someone made a claim that something happened. Maybe this is hard for you to believe, but some ex-spouses are very bitter and will do anything to hurt their ex's, and if that means through the kids, they have no problem doing it. Women and men do this, and I was a juvenile detective for 10 years**************....trust me, people will claim a LOT of things in order to hurt the other party.
Also, again using facts, I NEVER said your pre-conceived notions are because u were hit. Secondly, each response displays an obvious "issue" that you need to deal with. Lastly, AGAIN, facts mean nothing to you, except those you "pick", and its VERY revealing which facts you choose to "ignore" (as well as kinda making it obvoius what your problem is).
I'm not going to respond again to you, so have the last word. I want what is best for my kids, and that is to be HOME, even if you refuse to accept that. I feel sorry for you. Honestly.
And you really, really need to find a place for that chip on your shoulder. I hope you do.

*added: CJane, I just researched your posts a bit.....I get it now. Sorry for what you HAVE been through, and now i understand why you look at things as you do. However, you might want to speak to someone so that you don't allow your past to ruin your future. PEACE!

JP...CJane is right. If you have indeed read her personal posts/threads you would understand she has been through the ringer with a crazy ex who has levied false abuse claims against her. She does not allow her own experiences to color her posts. I don't always agree with her ( I usually do...but not always!lol!!), but I never have thought she posted anything but legally based answers.

Legally, your ex did the right thing...perhaps she did it for the wrong motives...but she did nothing legally incorrect. I would have done the same thing myself....for the right reasons of course!!

 

[profmum]

Jbut I never have thought she posted anything but legally based answers.

Ditto, for the most part, the responses you get on this site and harsh, cold, possible legal repurcussions/options tec

A lot of us have bitter ex's..while your ex's motivations may be suspect, you will be much better off, being able to prove that you were cleared of abuse charges. Straight up facts in the hearing, facts always win over emotion. CJane is one of the few balanced posters on this site,a lot of us will attest to it.

 

[CJane]

CJane is one of the few balanced posters on this site,a lot of us will attest to it.

Heh. Thanks.

But maybe OP is right and I do need therapy. It's possible, since he was a cop and all that he's WAY smarter than I am. And better at psychoanalyzation to boot.

But man... I wish he'd quit editing his posts. I respond, he edits, and then it's like I wasn't even responding to what he was saying. Do you suppose you can change the FACTS so easily? Maybe I'm not ignoring them so much as he's adding them later?

 

[Just Blue]

Heh. Thanks.

But maybe OP is right and I do need therapy. It's possible, since he was a cop and all that he's WAY smarter than I am. And better at psychoanalyzation to boot.

But man... I wish he'd quit editing his posts. I respond, he edits, and then it's like I wasn't even responding to what he was saying. Do you suppose you can change the FACTS so easily? Maybe I'm not ignoring them so much as he's adding them later?

Quote him whan responding...

 

[CJane]

Quote him whan responding...

Well, I was, but then I just got tired of going back and reading the additions.

For instance... his last post on this thread, when I read it last night, said only this:

I NEVER said your pre-conceived notions are because u were hit. Secondly, each response displays an obvious "issue" that you need to deal with. Lastly, AGAIN, facts mean nothing to you, except those you "pick", and its VERY revealing which facts you choose to "ignore" (as well as kinda making it obvoius what your problem is).
I'm not going to respond again to you, so have the last word. I want what is best for my kids, and that is to be HOME, even if you refuse to accept that. I feel sorry for you. Honestly.

Look at it now.

And I'm the crazy person.

 

[fairisfair]

yeah, you are crazy.

After all, sane people hit their kids in the HEADS????

 

[LdiJ]

CJane...I'M being self-righteous? LOL. Nah, just not going to admit to something I didn't do. OH, and in case you missed this too, my own department had a Personal Violence detective investigate it, and I've been exonerated. Child Services also chose not to open a file on it. Its also a TRO, which is a Temporary Restraining Order**************...in other words, someone made a claim that something happened. Maybe this is hard for you to believe, but some ex-spouses are very bitter and will do anything to hurt their ex's, and if that means through the kids, they have no problem doing it. Women and men do this, and I was a juvenile detective for 10 years**************....trust me, people will claim a LOT of things in order to hurt the other party.
Also, again using facts, I NEVER said your pre-conceived notions are because u were hit. Secondly, each response displays an obvious "issue" that you need to deal with. Lastly, AGAIN, facts mean nothing to you, except those you "pick", and its VERY revealing which facts you choose to "ignore" (as well as kinda making it obvoius what your problem is).
I'm not going to respond again to you, so have the last word. I want what is best for my kids, and that is to be HOME, even if you refuse to accept that. I feel sorry for you. Honestly.
And you really, really need to find a place for that chip on your shoulder. I hope you do.

*added: CJane, I just researched your posts a bit.....I get it now. Sorry for what you HAVE been through, and now i understand why you look at things as you do. However, you might want to speak to someone so that you don't allow your past to ruin your future. PEACE!

I just have a comment to make. You may be lucky that you are involved in law enforcement, because CPS in many areas does not consider hitting your child in the head as appropriate punishment.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I hope the bruising is not behind the ear because that is a classic sign of a head injury!

I have banged into walls and doors and have gotten a lump behind my ear, and bruised. No head injury here Kelly.

 

[Bloopy]

Let’s suppose that CJane is a BeeAch with a man-hating agenda. (sorry CJ)

Now let’s suppose that mom’s lawyer is also a BeeAch with a man-hating agenda.

Let’s imagine the judge with just a sprinkle of BeeAch with a man-hating agenda.

If you go in with the “Mom’s a crazy BeeAch for even thinking of these charges” attitude you will really be hurting your chances in court. Legally, as everyone has said, she has done something reasonable.

If you approach it more humbly… Perhaps mom thought she was acting in the child’s interests but… Add in witnesses (teachers) who saw no bruising to support you claim.

A lot of people have a stereotype of police officers as bullies who think they are above reproach. It may not be fair, but be d@mn careful not to fulfill that stereotype before the judge.

Honestly, I bop my son on the back of the head… but I wouldn’t even think about it if I had a crazy ex. What a gift you’ve given her. The burden of proof is clearly on the accused, not the accuser. You may wish to apologize for your judgment. Play smarter, its not like you can argue that head bopping is essential for a child’s development.

Have the kids been missing school for a week? That’s bad judgment on mom’s part. Doesn’t sound in their best interests at all.

 

[CJane]

Let’s suppose that CJane is a BeeAch with a man-hating agenda.

It IS possible. Just don't tell D'Man. He'd be sad.

 

[wileybunch]

CJane, you would really do the same exact thing as Mom in this case? I don't know that that's really in the best interests of the kids. He's had custody of the kids for over 10 years, no mention of anything prior, kid has a mark on his ear, and she removes them 100% from dad's care cutting off all contact? Is that really the best way to handle something like this? I don't know ... I think she's causing more damage w/her actions than the mark did *even if Dad DID put the mark there*.

 

[wileybunch]

After all, sane people hit their kids in the HEADS????

Is that what's called "boxing their ears"?

 

[fairisfair]

Is that what's called "boxing their ears"?

perhaps that is what you call it.

It is in fact child abuse. And would be treated as such by most child protective agencies.

 

[fairisfair]

CJane, you would really do the same exact thing as Mom in this case? I don't know that that's really in the best interests of the kids. He's had custody of the kids for over 10 years, no mention of anything prior, kid has a mark on his ear, and she removes them 100% from dad's care cutting off all contact? Is that really the best way to handle something like this? I don't know ... I think she's causing more damage w/her actions than the mark did *even if Dad DID put the mark there*.

Are you drunk or just another "sane" person??

Maybe if dad had caused a skull fracture. . . would that be enough?? Oh, but it has been ten years, so I expect a couple of broken bones might be in order first??

whatever.

A parent not only has the right, but the responsiblity to protect their children.

I am sure that if Mom's motivation is not above board, it will be quite evident.