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ProSe DAD...how do I represent myself in court against an attorney?

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What is the name of your state? FL

Hi, my wife (lovingstepmom) tolds me about this great site and I thought I would see if I could get some help.

I am going to court (11/07) to modify child custody and child support. My exwife has hired an attorney. We have an extensive history of litigation spanning 10 years. The only time I had an attorney was in the divorce itself. Our divorce was final in 1997. She was given Primary Residential Custody of my 2 daughters (ages 7 and 9 in 1997) and I was ordered toi pay child support which I faithfully paid. I have been thru hell with this Ex. She tried it all including child abuse, neglect, death threats, restraining orders and alot of contempt of court filings. You name it she tried it. All the allegations were investigated and unfounded. Fast forward to 2005. In 2005 at ages 15 and 17 my daughters moved in with me and my wife. The oldest in February 2005 and the youngest in September 2005. I was awarded full custody in February 2006. At that time there was a large arrearage amount (over $5000.00) owed to me. She was ordered to pay child support and repay the arrearage. In June of 2006 my oldest decided she did not like the rules in my house and moved back in with her mother. The ex went the very next day and filed an emergency motion to modify the child support, which was denied. At that point she hired an attorney, who filed a motion to modify custody and support. My oldest turned 18 in 6/2006, graduated in 5/2007, she is not in school, so she is immancipated. In February of 2007 my youngest daughter was placed on restrictions for skipping school and she proceed to scream, yell and throw things. The Sheriffs office came and told her to go to bed that she was just a mad teenager. She called her mom who she had been estranged from since she moved out. The next day my daughter went to work and the plan was that I would pick her up. I then received a phone call from my exwife stating she had picked up my daughter from work and she was taking her to her house for a few days. This is what happens when my daughter gets mad or gets in trouble she wants to go to her moms ar aunts house. After a week or so we talked and somewhat resolved the issues. Since that time she has spent nights with me, her mother and her aunt. School started last month so we are on a more regular schedule. During the school week she stays with me because I live very close to her school. In March of 2007 my ex and attorney filed an amended modifcation. She wants custody of my youngest and states she lives with her now.She never moved her belongings into my ex's house. She has a bedroom in both homes. I still have full custody. How do I prove that at most this is shared custody?
I am terrified of going to court ProSe against an experienced attorney. My wife has always handled the paperwork and legal files and by now is great at it, but according to my wife (lovingstepmom) I do not articulate my case very well and I do not speak up for myself. I am quiet and reserved and I am really worried about this...can anyone give me some advice ???
 
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CJane

Senior Member
School started last month so we are on a more regular schedule. During the school week she stays with me because I live very close to her school. In March of 2007 my ex and attorney filed an amended modifcation. She wants custody of my youngest and states she lives with her now.She never moved her belongings into my ex's house. She has a bedroom in both homes. I still have full custody. How do I prove that at most this is shared custody?
I am terrified of going to court ProSe against an experienced attorney. My wife has always handled the paperwork and legal files and by now is great at it, but according to my wife (lovingstepmom) I do not articulate my case very well and I do not speak up for myself. I am quiet and reserved and I am really worried about this...can anyone give me some advice ???
Take enrollment forms that show she's enrolled in the school 'very near' you.

MOM will have to prove HER allegations. So, rack your brain to see if you can come up with any proof that she might have at her disposal that the child DOES live with her and then come back here.
 

fairisfair

Senior Member
I have to agree with CJane, it could easily have been meant to say this Ex.

Besides lovingstepmom has been around long enough to know that she could come here and ask these questions, just that it is far better for Dad to be doing so himself.
 

ProSeDadinMD

Senior Member
Dang, I thought this thread was aimed directly at me.

Documentation and preparation(and I know now that I could have done both more thoroughly) are the only two things that I had in my favor in court. Well, that and the fact that my ex’s lawyer was overly confident in his ability to “defeat” a simple Pro Se litigant.

If you have a hard time articulating yourself, or if your mind doesn’t work in such a manner as to allow you to take the answers you hear in court and either be prepared to refute it or change the direction of the testimony, you would be better off with a lawyer. If you are concerned about the costs, you and your wife can do the “grunt work”(writing petitions, answers and motions, handling the court filing, research, and collecting the info that CJane pointed out above), and save the lawyer for court(although not many lawyers seem to want to go for this).

Despite having successfully represented myself in court, I don’t think that the trial portion of any custody/support fight is something that everybody can handle.
 
Excuse my typos

Please excuse my typo's, I am not the best typist, I honestly leave the computer work to my wife. She just felt I should state my case here. I apologize for the grammer and puncuation, to be honest I am out of my league here. Please understand. Thank you for all your help!
 

CJane

Senior Member
No she has a car but when she got caught skipping I took it and my wife took her to and from school and work.
Then you have your wife appear as a witness to the fact that the child attends school in your area and is transported by a member of your household.

You bring enrollment forms that list your address as her place of residence and you as the primary contact.

Now... can you think on your feet? Do you know when to STOP answering a question? The biggest gripes my attorney had about me prior to the custody trial, is I tended to answer questions by offering WAY more information than was asked for.

Keep it simple and keep it short. And make HER prove HER case. Don't do it for her.

Your child did not relocate to live with mom - she spent the summer with mom. A relocation is 90+ days in my state. It would behoove you to figure out what constitutes a relocation in YOUR state.
 

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