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[LdiJ]

If you have an attorney, you should be going by your attorney's advice.

Don't worry about temporary instability. That is normal in your situation. However you do need to work as quickly as is reasonable to get yourself set up with work, and a permanent place to live.

 

[IndianaDixie]

Frankly my attorney wasn't being very helpful, he's no longer my attorney. I did find a job, not the best I'm going to be waitressing, but well I gues it's better than nothing. As for a permanant place to live I dunno. Should I be filing for child support now or wait until he files for custody (cops told me I have legal custody that he can't keep her from me).

 

[IndianaDixie]

Also he's trying to tell me his mother and sister are going to take me to Small Claims court over the baby clothes they bought for my daughter. Is this even possible?

 

[LdiJ]

Also he's trying to tell me his mother and sister are going to take me to Small Claims court over the baby clothes they bought for my daughter. Is this even possible?

No, its not even remotely possible that his mother and sister can take you to small claims court over what they bought for the baby.

Its also correct that in Indiana you have sole legal and physical custody until a judge orders otherwise.

 

[IndianaDixie]

Just to double check on this as well, if he tries to keep her from me can I get the police to go over there with me to get her back?

 

[CJane]

Just to double check on this as well, if he tries to keep her from me can I get the police to go over there with me to get her back?

Sometimes. I don't know about Indiana, but in my experience and according to my attorney, w/out a court order for custody - while mom has presumed custody, if Dad has the child and refuses to return him/her, it's usually going to take a trip to court to get the kid back.

 

[LdiJ]

Sometimes. I don't know about Indiana, but in my experience and according to my attorney, w/out a court order for custody - while mom has presumed custody, if Dad has the child and refuses to return him/her, it's usually going to take a trip to court to get the kid back.

I agree....however, if you move up the chain of command with the police in Indiana, (be a really squeeky wheel) eventually you can get the police to assist.

There was one case in Indy, where a dad refused to return the child and the police refused to help. The mom happened to be talking to her caseworker for child support a couple of days later and told her what was going on. The caseworker took it upon herself to speak to the DA about it, and the DA spoke to the police, and magically the police immediately went and retrieved the child, and returned the child to mom.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

OP - does dad's name appear on the birth certificate? are there any court orders establishing paternity? child support? parenting time?

 

[LdiJ]

OP - does dad's name appear on the birth certificate? are there any court orders establishing paternity? child support? parenting time?

In Indiana an unwed mother has sole legal and physical custody until a court orders otherwise. Its irrelevant if dad's name is on the BC or not.

Edit: I really should have said that its irrelevant whether paternity has been established or not. Even if paternity has been established and child support has been ordered, mom has sole legal and physical custody until a judge says otherwise.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The thought process behind it was that if dad's name didn't appear on the birth certificate, she would have a better chance of using police services to retrieve her child.

I'm not an advocate of withholding a child from another parent. But, if there is no legal court orders that would ensure the safe return of the child, then I would suggest supervised visits with the child.

 

[LdiJ]

The thought process behind it was that if dad's name didn't appear on the birth certificate, she would have a better chance of using police services to retrieve her child.

I'm not an advocate of withholding a child from another parent. But, if there is no legal court orders that would ensure the safe return of the child, then I would suggest supervised visits with the child.

That's generally the best solution until court orders can be made....assuming that the dad is threatening or is likely to make a snatch.

 

[stormyautumn]

I found myself in a similiar situation 5 years ago. I tried to get out of my ex's place with all my clothing and belongings. He proceded to take all my daughter's things i.e. Clothes, stroller, bassinet, bottles and shove them in his car to prevent me from taking them. Mind you he never bought her anything except a travel pack of diapers..LOL When the police arrived, even though he clained to have bought everything for her, they told him him must give me all the child's possesion since the child was going with me. I however lost everything because by the time I could file in small claims my stuff was sold or thrown out. And as for you meth question. my ex was a heavy cocaine user. He was ordered to take UA's orginally at court and never showed. I know cocaine will show up in a UA anywhere from 3-7 days. Cocaine in a hair folice anywhere from 8 months to 1 Year and it wouldn't matter if he shaved his head, there are plenty of other places to obtain hair