• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

CS Modification-if not working

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

daddenied

Member
What is the name of your state? CA

Hello everyone. It's been a long time since I've been on. Unfortunately, things never changed. The Fresno Family Law courts continue to support my sons' mother in her quest to alienate them from me. After being forced to see them 1 hour a month last year in a supervised setting in Fresno, we went back to court where again their mother insisted they hated me (by the way, every visit was very nice and cordial, with the exception of some disrespect shown by one of my sons who could not explain to me why he was upset with me...would say, "he didn't know" was 13 at the time going on 14...Anyway, the last visit they all came in very hostile and looked at their Christmas gifts and said they didn't want them, refused to speak...totally different from the past visits...the youngest son who was 11 1/2 looked them, opened them, said he only liked one and that was it)...where was I? Oh, we went back to court and I could not longer afford to continue fighting for them. Their mother agreed to go back to the original divorce agreement where it stated we shared joint and legal custody of the boys, with 2 modifications:

1. They could refuse ALL the visits I request.
2. SHE would make decisions for their school and health solely since they live with her.

It was a very sad say, but I was drained. I think I still am in shock over how all has gone. Every weekend, except for 3 since January I have emailed as instructed by the courts the boys and copied their mother asking if we could visit the following weekend. I have to ask 7 days in advance and they can wait til' 24 hours before visit to turn me down. Needless to say, I have not seen my children since last Dec. 16th. :(

It's okay though now. I have made new plans and have accepted that all I can do is love them from afar and hope that when they are adults they will want to know the truth, BOTH sides of a very ugly story. Except for demands to pay medical bills (braces for 3 of the 4 boys I told her we could not afford right now and to just have them treated one at a time...of course, she got them all on the same day together)...except for demands of medical payments, I get and no answers to see the boys, I get no information from her about how the kids are doing. I am forced to be at the school's mercy and their coaches to get information about them, and that isn't a pleasant experience, especially with their coaches who are pretty rude and insist I get information from my sons, KNOWING our issues. :(

Anyway, sorry for the length of this email, but I know I owed some of you an update, especially Miss Met, who was extra kind and helpful with this whole mess. I plan to marry my girlfriend who had gone through the last 3+ years with me, helping me to fight for my rights. She now lives in Buffalo, NY...unable to deal with the stress and the sadness. Her job offered her a promotion to go to Buffalo and she loves it. I am looking for a job there, but Mar. 31st will be my last working day with my job here, regardless of my job situation there. This is the most important reason for this update. My plans are to move to Buffalo on Apr. 1st and if I have still don't have a job, enroll in a teaching certificate program if required (I may be able to teach there with my credentials I already have in CA), help coach football with Univ. at Buffalo during the Spring Season and continue looking for work. With that said, my income will be very little if not zero. My girlfriend is willing to support me until I start working. She has some money saved and we plan on marrying some time in the summertime...August 23rd most likely.

What do I need to file to modify the CS amount at the time I leave California? I have a great attorney who is willing to help me...he helped me the best he could, given the cards dealt by the courts and my Emmy award winning ex-wife and her trantrums thrown in court. I realize it is still 5 months away, but we want to be prepared just in case.

Thank you again for your help.

-DD
 


Zephyr

Senior Member
dd- your loss of income could be looked at as a voluntary reduction and therefore not eligible for a decrease.

I am so sorry the courts did not give you any sort of justice
 

daddenied

Member
It is voluntary. My future spouse lives and works in Buffalo and it will be easier for me to find work there. I may or may not be employed by the time I leave here, but I can tell you that when I do find employment in Buffalo, the pay will not be anywhere near what I make here in California. The wages are much lower, but I cannot live in CA, under a court system who have continued to support my sons' mother in her quest for alienation...something done very successfully. Are you saying that even without a job (in transition) or at a lower paying job in Buffalo, the courts will still insist I pay the amount I am now paying? This is ridiculous! Men in California prisons who fill out the correct forms showing zero income are not required to pay anything...they are there by their choice. I know this for a fact, because I have a friend who was just released after 6 years, and since he filed 5 years ago, he is only obligated to pay CS up to a year after he was in prison and will be required to pay again, once he starts working. Thanks for empathizing with me, but I am just frustrated.
 

CJane

Senior Member
Are you saying that even without a job (in transition) or at a lower paying job in Buffalo, the courts will still insist I pay the amount I am now paying?
Not necessarily... though it is a possibility.

CA takes into account time spent with the kids... since you've never actually received an order for 'real' time with them, it's possible you could get the order modified to reflect that... and you could certainly argue that it is impossible for you to make the same amount of money in NY as you were making in CA.
 

Rushia

Senior Member
Good to hear from you and sorry to hear about your kids. Let us know when you get to Buffalo so that we can give you a big welcome! A couple of us live about 20 minutes outside of Buffalo.
 

daddenied

Member
Thanks and some new questions

I appreciate your replies and understand that I am screwed any way I look at it...nothing new I'm sure you all know.

The tentative plan, which has now changed is that I will work until the school year is out and look for a job in Buffalo as much as I can from here. I will be able to spend a week in January and one week in April in the area to actually be there. Come July 31st I will head out to Buffalo, job or no job, looking for work. Our wedding will be in August or September.

I just need to know what forms I need to fill out if I am not working on Aug. 1st in Buffalo, meaning zero income on my end until I find work. Do I file immediately after leaving my current job or what exactly should I do?

If I have found a job in Buffalo, and the pay IS in fact lower, should I fill out the same forms?

Or, should I just suck it up and ask my new wife for us to continue paying the CS I've been paying and not ruffle my ex's feathers. I can just see her putting me through all the same old drama before and I really just want to start a new life, somewhere else where there aren't so many painful memories. Again, my sons will just have to decide when they are adults whether they want to know the truth or not. If so, great! and, if not, I'll just have to see it as their loss and enjoy my new wife and hopefully have our own child or children to concentrate on in our new home and new area.

Thanks!

DD
 

daddenied

Member
Good to hear from you and sorry to hear about your kids. Let us know when you get to Buffalo so that we can give you a big welcome! A couple of us live about 20 minutes outside of Buffalo.
We are marrying in 10 weeks and will be in Buffalo by the end of April. I am still real worried about what to do.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top