Disney Vacation Part 2

[JakeTheDad]

What is the name of your state? PA
Hi All,
I'm new here and I noticed the thread that I started is closed, but I just wanted to clairify a few things.
- I obtained an emergency order for my daughters bday party b/c I scheduled the party on MY weekend & when that weekend visit approached, my son was no where to be found, I went to pick him up on Thursday evening and no one was home. No answer on phone, no cell answer. The next day, Friday, I got a letter IN THE MAIL from Ex! She said they went out of town to visit friends on a short notice. SO, YES, my atty & I felt an emergency order was necessary. (Yes, ex knew of the party, and knew it was planned on my weekend)

-In the past, Ex has denied me visitation on Easter, Christmas, his birthday. Last month, She told our parent coordinator, in writing, that I should not see son on Christmas b/c "Christmas is HER special time" *WHAT?!* So,yes, I know how she will react to this trip to Disney. At age 5, she tried to prevent me from taking son on overnight visits b/c he is afraid of the dark.?! What does that even mean?

-My wife does not interfere, nor does she try "to piss off that B*%#!" as one reader said. Your attacks are not neccessary. Would it be better if my wife wanted nothing to do with my son? Just b/c I am no longer with ex, does not mean, as a father, I should not try to give both my kids a good life. They enjoy spending time with each other, and I want them to have great memories when they are older. I am not in this to be the winner, there is no winner in custody, visitation,etc...It's just doing what is best for the kids.

-I am working with my attorney to clarify & specify the "additional time" allowed on my court order. I am not looking to upset ex by a surprise vacation, just would like to exercise my right to see my son when the opportunity comes up.
We will see what the judge decides, THANKS FOR ALL YOUR ADVISE!

 

[JakeTheDad]

I hope so. I am fine with the CO visitation (fri - sun every other wkend, 1 dinner every week) , just sometimes, things come up. I have never had the opportunity to use the additional time option. If I called ex to schedule additional time,even for a day, maybe for a party, or tickets to a baseball game, ex would only exchange time, so I would have to give up one of my scheduled days. I know that sounds petty, but why can't I have additional time with our son if she has nothing planned or is at work. Let me be clear, She does not have a problem giving me an unscheduled day with our son, but ONLY, if I giver her one of my scheduled days. It's like, to her, she must win - what, I don't know..

I would appreciate any ideas about a more specific "additional time". I can discuss this with ex & parent coordinator to see what fits us best. Ex would say no to all ideas but maybe if I give us a few options, she can pick what works best. I thought about 8 hours a month with 7 days notice. or, ex works on weekends, so maybe 8 hours on her weekend during her work shift? Addtn'l time - It's so vague

 

[profmum]

I hope so. I am fine with the CO visitation (fri - sun every other wkend, 1 dinner every week) , just sometimes, things come up. I have never had the opportunity to use the additional time option. If I called ex to schedule additional time,even for a day, maybe for a party, or tickets to a baseball game, ex would only exchange time, so I would have to give up one of my scheduled days. I know that sounds petty, but why can't I have additional time with our son if she has nothing planned or is at work. Let me be clear, She does not have a problem giving me an unscheduled day with our son, but ONLY, if I giver her one of my scheduled days. It's like, to her, she must win - what, I don't know..

I would appreciate any ideas about a more specific "additional time". I can discuss this with ex & parent coordinator to see what fits us best. Ex would say no to all ideas but maybe if I give us a few options, she can pick what works best. I thought about 8 hours a month with 7 days notice. or, ex works on weekends, so maybe 8 hours on her weekend during her work shift? Addtn'l time - It's so vague

Keep it simple to 1 or 2 extra days a month with 7 days notice, that way the length of time is defined with adequate notice.. i would stay away from hours, it is open for interpretation (first 8 hours of the day vs last 8 hours etc)

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Dad, check to see what the current guidelines are for parenting time. They have really expanded them to make them closer to 50/50. Google is your friend

 

[CJane]

Keep it simple to 1 or 2 extra days a month with 7 days notice, that way the length of time is defined with adequate notice.. i would stay away from hours, it is open for interpretation (first 8 hours of the day vs last 8 hours etc)

That's not gonna give him an uninterrupted week during the school year to go to Disney though.

 

[CJane]

Dad, do you have a provision already for extended periods of parenting time? A few weeks in the summer, for instance?

I think it's 'reasonable' to request 2 or 3 uninterrupted weeks in the summer and an additional uninterrupted week not to conincide w/Christmas or Thanksgiving (so the other parent isn't affected w/holidays) during the fall semester of school.

HOWEVER, I wouldn't take that as carte blanche to remove the child from school for the week either. I'm guessing you live close enough together to facilitate getting kiddo to school and stuff? I don't wanna look up your old threads.

Other than that... I think the 'additional time' clause should be removed entirely. It's ALWAYS going to cause conflict.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Personally, I think that both CP and NCP should be entitled to one (1) two-week uninterrupted parenting time so that either party can go on vacation.

 

[CJane]

Personally, I think that both CP and NCP should be entitled to one (1) two-week uninterrupted parenting time so that either party can go on vacation.

But... that's what I said.

I'm just gonna continue having issues w/it being during school.

I just read through my order. There is the following provision for my birthday and the kids' birthdays - which is my time...

The minor children's birthdays will be spent with Mother from 9am until 9pm, except for any period of time the minor children will be in school.

And this is how summer break reads:

Each parent shall have one continuous two week period during the summer moths when school is not in session for vacation purposes...

 

[stealth2]

I'm just gonna continue having issues w/it being during school.

Me, too. Especially as the kids get older, it gets more difficult to make up the missed work.

 

[LdiJ]

I hope so. I am fine with the CO visitation (fri - sun every other wkend, 1 dinner every week) , just sometimes, things come up. I have never had the opportunity to use the additional time option. If I called ex to schedule additional time,even for a day, maybe for a party, or tickets to a baseball game, ex would only exchange time, so I would have to give up one of my scheduled days. I know that sounds petty, but why can't I have additional time with our son if she has nothing planned or is at work. Let me be clear, She does not have a problem giving me an unscheduled day with our son, but ONLY, if I giver her one of my scheduled days. It's like, to her, she must win - what, I don't know..

I would appreciate any ideas about a more specific "additional time". I can discuss this with ex & parent coordinator to see what fits us best. Ex would say no to all ideas but maybe if I give us a few options, she can pick what works best. I thought about 8 hours a month with 7 days notice. or, ex works on weekends, so maybe 8 hours on her weekend during her work shift? Addtn'l time - It's so vague

I will be honest....any provision for "additional time" that isn't very very specific is basically unenforceable....particularly if the parties must agree on the times/dates.

I will also be honest and say that I think that you are making a poor choice to schedule a Disney vacation during school time....even if the school agrees.

However, the bottom line, as I have said before, is that its all going to boil down to what the judge's attitude is regarding the child missing school for a vacation. It can go EITHER way. However, even if the judge rules in your favor, that doesn't automatically mean that the judge is going to think that mom is wrong for objecting....or automatically going to give you greater leeway or control over "additional" time.

 

[JakeTheDad]

Update

HELLO EVERYONE,
My very first post to this site was about taking son out of school to Disney. And if it wasn't for all of the responders who offered their opinions,(posititve & negative), I would not have been fully prepared in court. Because of all of you who offered your expertise & opinions, I was FULLY prepared to argue my case, and because of that, the judge is allowing the trip. (Doesn't hurt to have a great attorney either!) So, THANK YOU EVERYONE, for your opinion, experience & expertise!!

Ex argued about son missing school saying grades would drop, which is understandable.
Prior to court hearing, my atty spoke with school principal & gave principal subpoena. Principal took the stand, supplied grades & test scores, encouraged trip & offered to get assignment plan from teachers for son to work on during Christmas break. That'l work!
THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE FOR YOUR DEDICATION TO THIS SITE!!
HAVE A NICE THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!

 

[Bloopy]

My wife does not interfere, nor does she try "to piss off that B*%#!" as one reader said.

Old as it is, I gotta gnaw at the bone about "pissing off the new wife"
My exact words were

I’m guessing it’s about pleasing the new wife, “I’m not going to let that B*tch of an Ex ruin…”

I wasn’t suggesting you and Wifey were out to piss off your Ex, but rather that you were intent to not let her ruin your plans. That’s exactly what happened.

 

[Bloopy]

Principal took the stand, supplied grades & test scores, encouraged trip & offered to get assignment plan from teachers for son to work on during Christmas break. That'l work!
THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE FOR YOUR DEDICATION TO THIS SITE!!
HAVE A NICE THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!

That's awesome! I can’t believe that the principal was willing to testify over this. I wonder if mom has burned a few bridges at school.

 

[StampGirl]

For me that sets a dangerous precident. I don't like the kids missing school. We have three months a year that the kids are out. Vacations can be taken then.

My guess is it was only allowed because the child is so young but that still rubs me the wrong way.

 

[tuffbrk]

To each their own - it needs to be taken care of when creating the parenting plan/custody orders.

Personally, I wrote mine to require that any time out of school other than for health or medical reasons requires the consent of the co-parent, a minimum of 30 days in advance of the anticipated absence.

Not an issue for me since I cannot afford vacations anytime! LOL!