moms got a boyfriend

[stevieb]

What is the name of your state? florida but Mom lives in Mississippi. I discovered a very disturbing truth today, I really need some advice. My mother is 84 years young and has a younger boyfriend, 71. First he was a tenant in her apartment which is attached to her house, two weeks later hes in her bedroom, Don't get m,e wrong but Moms really ugly and scarrey looking ,a botched up face lift (looks like a twisted stroke) but shes also very mean and selfish to her children but friendly and helpful to low life strangers(not anyone with class) We discovered that she now has a joint checking account,doesn't trust us and says that we don't like Bill. well he had an accident and God acts in mysterious ways. We were able to look around through some paperwork and found that Bill likes to spend mamas money at the local poker table. Checks for 150.00-500.00 per day were written either from moms account, their joint account or his account. Total one week was 1800.00(he gambled 4 days that week)
Also I must add that mom is a miser,shops a thrift stores and day old bread shops,to eat out its usually Wendys. I feel so saddened by what this man is doing but when I told her and showed her the paperwork she got upset(not with him but with us)She is so dependent on him and acts like hes so good to her. Hes lazy and manipulative,doesn't even put the trash out or pay his way. The grass was 6' high and he didn't try to get anyone to cut ituntil he got a letter from the city.. Now hes talking marriage, I looked in his checkbook when he first met her he had a balance of 2000.00 his balance is now 22,800.00 Is there anything we can do to help protect an elderly person with dimentia from a thief like this if she doesn't want help or think she needs it, most of the time she doesn't even know where she is or what shes doing and has to ask him so he can remind her of her present position, Also he tries to stop any family activity and takes her away from the house most of the time. Hel we need some advice !!!!!!!!!!What is the name of your state?

 

[Bruno]

mama's got a boyfriend

you seem to be about 'moms got a boyfriend.'
based on what you wrote, there is really not much you could do.
she seems to be mentally alert and 'relatively' competent. the only way to stop him would be to prove to the authorities that he is guilty of 'elder abuse.'

References:
Financial or material exploitation is the illegal taking, misuse, or concealment of funds, property, or assets of a vulnerable elder.
http://www.aoa.gov/eldfam/Elder_Rights/Elder_Abuse/Elder_Abuse.asp

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? florida but Mom lives in Mississippi. I discovered a very disturbing truth today, I really need some advice. My mother is 84 years young and has a younger boyfriend, 71.

Good for mom!

First he was a tenant in her apartment which is attached to her house, two weeks later hes in her bedroom,

Okay. Is he cleaning? Dusting? Sweeping? Sleeping? Or tightening mom's bolts? Apparently mom wants him there. But question -- how do YOU KNOW he is in her bedroom?

Don't get m,e wrong but Moms really ugly and scarrey looking ,a botched up face lift (looks like a twisted stroke)

That is sweet. Someone care's about your mom enough to see to what is inside.

but shes also very mean and selfish to her children but friendly and helpful to low life strangers(not anyone with class)

You say mean and selfish to her children -- the very people that state that she is really ugly and "scarrey" looking? Jeez. Wonder why?

We discovered that she now has a joint checking account,

Okay. How did you discover this?

doesn't trust us

Considering you have been in her bedroom and "discovered" she has a joint checking account I can't understand why she wouldn't trust you!

and says that we don't like Bill.

Do you?

well he had an accident and God acts in mysterious ways.

Have no clue what you are referring to.

We were able to look around through some paperwork and found that Bill likes to spend mamas money at the local poker table.

Okay. You snooped. And I ask again, WHY doesn't your mom trust you? Nosy little brat.

Checks for 150.00-500.00 per day were written either from moms account, their joint account or his account.

Dang how nosey are you? How is this YOUR business?

Total one week was 1800.00(he gambled 4 days that week)

And? This is your business why? You know this because?

Also I must add that mom is a miser,shops a thrift stores and day old bread shops,to eat out its usually Wendys.

I like Wendy's junior bacon cheeseburger. Good deal! Thrift stores are cool and cheap. And day old bread -- hell it is edible.

I feel so saddened by what this man is doing

Why? Because your mom is enjoying herself?

but when I told her and showed her the paperwork she got upset(not with him but with us)

Why would she get upset with a snooping little brat?

She is so dependent on him and acts like hes so good to her.

Maybe he is.

Hes lazy and manipulative,doesn't even put the trash out or pay his way.

What did your mom do?

The grass was 6' high and he didn't try to get anyone to cut ituntil he got a letter from the city..

Okay. Why didn't you offer to cut it?

Now hes talking marriage, I looked in his checkbook when he first met her he had a balance of 2000.00 his balance is now 22,800.00

He must be good at gambling. And you are good at snooping. Surprised mom still lets you in the house.

Is there anything we can do to help protect an elderly person with dimentia from a thief like this

Really? How much is your mom missing? Can you prove that he STOLE it?

if she doesn't want help or think she needs it, most of the time she doesn't even know where she is or what shes doing and has to ask him so he can remind her of her present position,

That is nice of him!

Also he tries to stop any family activity and takes her away from the house most of the time.

Oh my. HE takes her out! Where to? Are you jealous he doesn't invite you to come?

Hel we need some advice !!!!!!!!!!

Hell, you need to realize that your mom may be old but that does not mean she is incompetent and cannot enjoy herself with a man be it in the bedroom or out of the house. You sound jealous, possessive and I can see why mom is moving away from any family activity.

 

[BlondiePB]

Good for mom!



Okay. Is he cleaning? Dusting? Sweeping? Sleeping? Or tightening mom's bolts? Apparently mom wants him there. But question -- how do YOU KNOW he is in her bedroom?



That is sweet. Someone care's about your mom enough to see to what is inside.


You say mean and selfish to her children -- the very people that state that she is really ugly and "scarrey" looking? Jeez. Wonder why?


Okay. How did you discover this?

Considering you have been in her bedroom and "discovered" she has a joint checking account I can't understand why she wouldn't trust you!



Do you?



Have no clue what you are referring to.



Okay. You snooped. And I ask again, WHY doesn't your mom trust you? Nosy little brat.



Dang how nosey are you? How is this YOUR business?


And? This is your business why? You know this because?


I like Wendy's junior bacon cheeseburger. Good deal! Thrift stores are cool and cheap. And day old bread -- hell it is edible.


Why? Because your mom is enjoying herself?



Why would she get upset with a snooping little brat?


Maybe he is.


What did your mom do?



Okay. Why didn't you offer to cut it?


He must be good at gambling. And you are good at snooping. Surprised mom still lets you in the house.



Really? How much is your mom missing? Can you prove that he STOLE it?



That is nice of him!



Oh my. HE takes her out! Where to? Are you jealous he doesn't invite you to come?




Hell, you need to realize that your mom may be old but that does not mean she is incompetent and cannot enjoy herself with a man be it in the bedroom or out of the house. You sound jealous, possessive and I can see why mom is moving away from any family activity.

 

[Just Blue]

If you were my child I wouldn't allow you in my home! Outrageous!

 

[aanubis]

ditto everything ohiogirl said !!!

And here we have a case of a nosy child making rude comments, and thinking he/she is seeing their expected inheritance disappear. I hope mom marries the guy so the bratty child is out of the picture in more ways than 1. It seems to me that mom is actually happy.

 

[HatRack]

What is the name of your state? florida but Mom lives in Mississippi. I discovered a very disturbing truth today, I really need some advice.

My mother is 84 years young and has a younger boyfriend, 71. First he was a tenant in her apartment which is attached to her house, two weeks later hes in her bedroom, children but friendly and helpful to low life strangers(not anyone with class) We discovered that she now has a joint checking account,doesn't trust us and says that we don't like Bill. well he had an accident and God acts in mysterious ways. We were able to look around through some paperwork and found that Bill likes to spend mamas money at the local poker table. Checks for 150.00-500.00 per day were written either from moms account, their joint account or his account. Total one week was 1800.00(he gambled 4 days that week)
Also I must add that mom is a miser,shops a thrift stores and day old bread shops,to eat out its usually Wendys. I feel so saddened by what this man is doing but when I told her and showed her the paperwork she got upset(not with him but with us)She is so dependent on him and acts like hes so good to her. Hes lazy and manipulative,doesn't even put the trash out or pay his way. The grass was 6' high and he didn't try to get anyone to cut ituntil he got a letter from the city.. Now hes talking marriage, I looked in his checkbook when he first met her he had a balance of 2000.00 his balance is now 22,800.00 Is there anything we can do to help protect an elderly person with dimentia from a thief like this if she doesn't want help or think she needs it, most of the time she doesn't even know where she is or what shes doing and has to ask him so he can remind her of her present position, Also he tries to stop any family activity and takes her away from the house most of the time. Hel we need some advice !!!!!!!!!!What is the name of your state?

-------------------------------------
A dose of hard cold reality.
It isn't your money.
It's not your life, it's hers.

She can and she is doing whatever she pleases.
Not a darn thing you can do about it.

The truth is you feel robbed of her money that it should be yours.
Your thin mask is slipping.


**************************************************************************************************
Don't get m,e wrong but Moms really ugly and scarrey looking ,a botched up face lift (looks like a twisted stroke) but shes also very mean and selfish to her children.

**************************************************************************************************

Whew! A UGLY soul is far more repulsive than a botched face lift.
Look in a mirror cupcake

.

 

[Ohiogal]

ditto everything ohiogirl said !!!

And here we have a case of a nosy child making rude comments, and thinking he/she is seeing their expected inheritance disappear. I hope mom marries the guy so the bratty child is out of the picture in more ways than 1. It seems to me that mom is actually happy.

The scary thing is that this "nosy child" is probably in his/her late fifties or sixties. Wonder what he/she would feel like if his/her child/ren decided they were too old and decrepit to go out, have sex, and do things they wanted to do and that their child/ren went through the checkbooks, paperwork and other stuff in their house? They would probably start screaming on here about their child's despicable behavior.

 

[BlondiePB]

BTW, y'all it's Arkie.

 

[Just Blue]

BTW, y'all it's Arkie.

So this would be a "A-DAR"..humm??

 

[BlondiePB]

So this would be a "A-DAR"..humm??

Yep, but I say Ark-Dar.

 

[stevieb]

ok you got me!! I realize that I should clarify some of my statements about moms new guy!!
Maybe I'm being overly cautious about this guy but his lady before my mom ended up in the hospital on an overdose of her perscription meds and she was in her mid 80's also. He was 62 then and her sons had to put their mom in a residential facility because when she had been hospitalized for over a week before they were informed of her condition, Bill signed as her next of kin also most of her valuable jewelry and quite a few antiques went missing. Coinsidentially he has a storage building full of antiques but I only know this through heresay from her sons(who are Attorneys), Maybe I'm just worried that the same thing will happen to our Mother but she doesn't want to acknowledge that possibilty. I suppose its better for her to be with him than a caregiver or someone she doesn't like very much.