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[nbrown2007]

What is the name of your state? Texas

If in court you have a journal or visititation since 2003. It starts being a little more detailed in 2005. Does this hold up in court? How else do you prove that the other parent did not take their visits when they were suppose to? What else do I need when the pther parent denys it? Also, does it look bad on the other parent if they NEVER take there weekly 2 hour visits plus many other weekend visits?

 

[CJane]

The journal will not help you saddle Mom with the transportation costs so your husband can uproot his entire family and move them across the country.

It MIGHT help dad actually get permission to move, but even that is doubtful as TX really would prefer to keep a family together.

 

[nbrown2007]

The journal will not help you saddle Mom with the transportation costs so your husband can uproot his entire family and move them across the country.

It MIGHT help dad actually get permission to move, but even that is doubtful as TX really would prefer to keep a family together.

Its not to have her pay....we already know she will not be taking us back to court for anythign about moving out side the state. But this was just a general question because I didnt know if my husband needs to stop documenting everything or if it will actually hold up. But what happens if she says she has always picked up for visitation? Its her word against my husbands? She gets her maybe half of her visits if that. What do judges usually do in that situation?

 

[CJane]

Its not to have her pay....we already know she will not be taking us back to court for anythign about moving out side the state. But this was just a general question because I didnt know if my husband needs to stop documenting everything or if it will actually hold up. But what happens if she says she has always picked up for visitation? Its her word against my husbands? She gets her maybe half of her visits if that. What do judges usually do in that situation?

When the grown-ups cannot behave as grown-ups, the judge will usually appoint a guardian ad litem to ascertain the 'truth' of the situation.

And you cannot know that she will not take you to court when you move and try to with hold visitation from her because she's not paying for the plane tickets.

 

[nbrown2007]

Your right on that. We can not know 100% certain that she will not show up. I do not in any way want you to think I am a step mom who is trying to take over. Because that is far from it. Believe me, I wish I could prove to you how I have tried to get the mom involved.

2003- she missed 19 days of visits
2004-23 days
2005-22 days
2006-61 days
2007-51 (so far)

2007 is including her Thursday nights that she get 2 hours....which is has never taken. Up until August she lived 5 min away. There was always a excuse why she can not spend time. It does not bother me. I dont want you to think that I dont want my husbands daughter around either...it hurts the child.

We went to court in 2006 .....she didnt even bother to show up. We know she was served because I was picking my step daughter up form her home when she got served.

 

[CJane]

Take out the 2 hour dinner dates - they aren't going to 'count'.

Also, include how many days she COULD have taken and how many she didn't... as in "Missed 2 of 10 visits" that's a lot different than saying she missed 2 of a possible 200... see what I mean?

You're manipulating the data to reflect well on Dad. A judge will see it too.

Also, it's easier to track visitation on a calendar. Color the days dad has the kid in one color, the days mom has in another. Makes a great visual in the court room.

And you don't want to know what I think of you/dad for teaching the child that it's ok to choose money over family.

 

[nbrown2007]

I think we arnt understanding soming or at least I am not. Can you explain teaching the child to choose money over family?

If its about moving to NY from here....my husband is from there...our family is moving there. The only reason to stay and we have is because of her mom. But shes not doing too much as it is. I want to beable to provide more for my family and I do not see wrong in doing it. The mom has had over 4 years to try. She just hasnt. Most of the visitation that she has missed are her overnights. The 2 hours didnt star until this past year.

 

[nbrown2007]

Also

Did you read what I wrote back about the contents of the notarized letter?

 

[CJane]

I think we arnt understanding soming or at least I am not. Can you explain teaching the child to choose money over family?

Nope, I can't explain it to you.

I just know that when my dad moved away from US, we all felt that he was choosing his job over his relationship with us. I cannot imagine the resentment my mother would have faced from us had she picked us up and moved us away from the town/area we'd lived in the majority of our lives and away from our father just because she could have gotten a better job. And my dad was less than involved (lived in TX, we lived in KS). It simply would never have occurred to my mother to make visiting us EVEN HARDER on him.

 

[CJane]

Also

Did you read what I wrote back about the contents of the notarized letter?

The contents of it are irrelevant. It's not a legally binding document. And certainly would not supersede an order from the OAG's office.

 

[Silverplum]

I agree with CJane. On everything.

 

[nbrown2007]

Well the thing is that with what my husband does and has his degree in he can not make more than 25-30K a year. He is making a very good amount right now since he has been with the company for 10 years. The company itself is not doing good and has been for the past 3 years tons of layoffs. We just cant wait until he gets laid off to figure out what to do. We also can not take a job making 25-30. He he moves outside of Texas he will make so much more than whathe even makes now. We have spoken to my step daughter about moving to get her input. And she wants to. We told how visits would be with mom that she would have to take a plane to see her instead. And she is perfectly fine with it. She is not the type to agree just to make you happy, she will tell you if she odes not want it. If its to better my children I think it is well worth it. I dont see us moving into a 2 bedroom apt with three kids just so we can be around the corner of her mom. Moving is not what we wanted at first....all my family lives in Texas, but it is the best option.

As for the letter....why would a judge tell her that she still owes 8000 when both my husband and her signed for 600 with the 120 every month? And what did you ezactly mean with slam dunk case? I am sorry if I ask too many questions, I have never had to deal with this stuff and I want to make sure I understand everything correctly. I do not want the mom paying 100% of cost....I want it to be 50/50

 

[CJane]

Well the thing is that with what my husband does and has his degree in he can not make more than 25-30K a year. He is making a very good amount right now since he has been with the company for 10 years. The company itself is not doing good and has been for the past 3 years tons of layoffs. We just cant wait until he gets laid off to figure out what to do. We also can not take a job making 25-30. He he moves outside of Texas he will make so much more than whathe even makes now. We have spoken to my step daughter about moving to get her input. And she wants to. We told how visits would be with mom that she would have to take a plane to see her instead. And she is perfectly fine with it. She is not the type to agree just to make you happy, she will tell you if she odes not want it. If its to better my children I think it is well worth it. I dont see us moving into a 2 bedroom apt with three kids just so we can be around the corner of her mom. Moving is not what we wanted at first....all my family lives in Texas, but it is the best option.

Hmmm... given my education/area of expertise, I could make a LOT more money somewhere else. But I work a $32K/year job so that I live w/in 8 miles of my ex-husband. Not because I like him, but because that's best for my kids.

I also live in a 2 bedroom apartment with 3 kids so I can make ends meet.

So yeah... still can't explain it to you.

As for the letter....why would a judge tell her that she still owes 8000 when both my husband and her signed for 600 with the 120 every month?

Because she DOES owe 8000. Her and your husband did not go about forgiving the arrears properly.

And what did you ezactly mean with slam dunk case? I am sorry if I ask too many questions, I have never had to deal with this stuff and I want to make sure I understand everything correctly. I do not want the mom paying 100% of cost....I want it to be 50/50

It's not likely that Mom will be ordered to pay 50/50 of the transportation even owing arrears in CS.

 

[nbrown2007]

As for the apt, I never had to share a room with my soblings neither did my husband. Give the childrens age differences I do not think it would be acceptable to share a room. But that is my opinion and you have a right to your own.

So the judge will allow us to move with that? Is that what you meant by your reply from the CS forum?

Not talking about moving, what will the judge do to some who owes 8000, does not work, never has, and has 2 other children, with nothing in her name?

 

[CJane]

As for the apt, I never had to share a room with my soblings neither did my husband. Give the childrens age differences I do not think it would be acceptable to share a room. But that is my opinion and you have a right to your own.

Absolutely I do. My kids are 10, 7 and almost 2, by the way. Mixed genders too.

So the judge will allow us to move with that? Is that what you meant by your reply from the CS forum?

No. That's not what I meant.

Not talking about moving, what will the judge do to some who owes 8000, does not work, never has, and has 2 other children, with nothing in her name?

Honestly? Not a whole lot.