Just Wondering

[Preppie1997]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I recently had a child out side of marriage. The woman I had a child with was married at the time she got pregnant and was seperated from her husband. She has since broken off our relationship and has a new boyfriend of Six weeks and she is moving in with him. Two doors down from me. Is there anything I can do.

 

[Zephyr]

with regards to what? the child?

when the baby is born, file to establish paternity, custody, parenting time allocation and child support

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I recently had a child out side of marriage. The woman I had a child with was married at the time she got pregnant and was seperated from her husband. She has since broken off our relationship and has a new boyfriend of Six weeks and she is moving in with him. Two doors down from me. Is there anything I can do.

About what?

 

[CJane]

Her husband is the legal father of the child. You'd have to file to DISESTABLISH paternity for him and ESTABLISH it for you and go from there.

But ummm... you'll not have much leverage in court w/her moving in with someone else after only knowing them 6 weeks. Not when you were ok with her marital status when creating a baby.

 

[Preppie1997]

but here is the deal

She was legaly seperated from her husband when we met. I am more worried about my son than I am about her. I have already established that I am the father of my son I voulnterly signed the aknowlegement of paternty and had a DNA test done. We have been to court and have never set up an custody arrangement yet I have him everyday of the week and every other weekend. The only day that I do not have him is every other sunday. I am currently paying child support to her as ordered by the state of illinois public aid. I really wonder if her misconduct is something that if I prove will it help? He was born 14 weeks 5 days early and the doctors said it is because of continueing to work after she was placed on bed rest. Her sharing a room with her lover and my son because we where ordered by the court to have him sleep in our room because he is on a heart and lung monitor? I would normaly in this situation just pay a lawyer but he was in the hospital for 16 weeks after he was born and I took all that time off of work trying to be there for him and her in there time of need.

 

[CJane]

She was legaly seperated from her husband when we met. I am more worried about my son than I am about her. I have already established that I am the father of my son I voulnterly signed the aknowlegement of paternty and had a DNA test done. We have been to court and have never set up an custody arrangement yet I have him everyday of the week and every other weekend.

Please to 'splain the actual custody split. Days/times/etc.

I am currently paying child support to her as ordered by the state of illinois public aid. I really wonder if her misconduct is something that if I prove will it help?

What misconduct?

He was born 14 weeks 5 days early and the doctors said it is because of continueing to work after she was placed on bed rest.

There are literally hundreds of reasons kids could be born early. My kids were all 3 early for no apparent reason.

Her sharing a room with her lover and my son because we where ordered by the court to have him sleep in our room because he is on a heart and lung monitor?

He's on a heart/lung monitor and y'all were ORDERED to share a room w/him to monitor that, and you're now saying it's WRONG for her to have the child in the room?

I would normaly in this situation just pay a lawyer but he was in the hospital for 16 weeks after he was born and I took all that time off of work trying to be there for him and her in there time of need.

You need to state very specifically what your wishes are, what her 'misconduct' is, the child's health issues, the time split, etc.

 

[Preppie1997]

custdoy split is eight hours monday through thursday and it is spose to be every other weekend. It has actually been ten hours every day and every weekend for the last six weeks and she has me scheduled for the next five weeks also.

 

[Preppie1997]

The doctors have said that my son was born early because she refused to rest she insisted on cleaning the house and working two 16 hour shifts in a row. I have a nine year old daughter who was born 8 weeks early for no reason. I understand that.

 

[Preppie1997]

I think it is right for her to share a room with him but I do not think it is right for any parent to have sex in the same room as a child.

 

[stealth2]

1. I suspect there's no PROOF that her activity caused the premature birth. The docs may think that's why, but is there definitive proof of it? I doubt it.

2. The child is.... how old now? I suspect that he has no clue what anyone is doing in the same room while he's asleep.

3. How do you KNOW they're having sex when he's sleeping, in their room? Are you under the bed?

 

[profmum]

1. I suspect there's no PROOF that her activity caused the premature birth. The docs may think that's why, but is there definitive proof of it? I doubt it.


I disagree, you get put on bedrest (among other things ) for at risk for pre term labor and you can stay pregnant as long as possible if you adhere to the bed rest instructions. So if she willfilly ignored her bed rest instructions, then she deliberately endangered her pregnancy.


3. How do you KNOW they're having sex when he's sleeping, in their room? Are you under the bed?

Exactly?... you do not know they are having sex, it is not crime for them to all sleep in the same roon

 

[CJane]

I disagree, you get put on bedrest (among other things ) for at risk for pre term labor and you can stay pregnant as long as possible if you adhere to the bed rest instructions. So if she willfilly ignored her bed rest instructions, then she deliberately endangered her pregnancy.

This is a huge yes but...

She may have deliberately ignored the Dr's instructions, but the child was apparently born alive. Therefore her behavior cannot be proven to have been an active danger to the child.

 

[CJane]

If Dad's post is accurate though... he already has the child the majority of his/her waking hours. Whether due to Mom's work schedule or not, I have no idea.

It's an excellent case for a 50/50 day/night split if he can prove it.

But he needs to let go of his anger/judgmental attitude towards the married woman he had a baby with. Honestly, the morality coach left a long time ago and neither of these parents was on it. Playing that card NOW just makes you look angry and bitter.

 

[Just Blue]

If Dad's post is accurate though... he already has the child the majority of his/her waking hours. Whether due to Mom's work schedule or not, I have no idea.

It's an excellent case for a 50/50 day/night split if he can prove it.

But he needs to let go of his anger/judgmental attitude towards the married woman he had a baby with. Honestly, the morality coach left a long time ago and neither of these parents was on it. Playing that card NOW just makes you look angry and bitter.

OMG!!! I love it!!! My new siggy!!

Honestly, the morality coach left a long time ago and neither of these parents was on it.

 

[Ohiogal]

Did you have to take any of the parenting classes? Where in the law does it state that all parents in your state MUST take parenting classes?