Equitable Distribution

[Welcome 2 CO]

What is the name of your state? CO

1. Short term marriage

I have only been married for 11 months. I am afraid this will work against me in property division in CO, despite the hell I have been through. I was engaged to my husband almost 4 years before we married last Dec. We bought a duplex JTIC when we got engaged. I lived in it in MT and he didn't because he was activated and deployed. I broke off our engagement when he was violent to me, but when he promised he was in counseling I took him back and I quit a new professional job and he moved me to CO Oct 2006 to finally get married. The "marriage" has been a nightmare. Immediately he started threatening divorce and told me "our" new house was only in his name and that I would never own it and that the couch and chair he bought me for my birthday one month before our marriage was only his too. He is a military officer and extremely controlling - had me close my checking account and deposit into his and then refuse to add my name to his account.

Q: How will short term marriage affect proerty division in CO?


2. domestic violence

No surprise he has been violent since I don't like being so extremely controlled - my kids and I can't leave our shoes, coats backpacks anywhere but in our bedrooms or he throws them in basement, etc. He filed for divorce in March 2007, after he was violent with me, locked me and my daughter out of house, but then dropped the divorce when the military investigated him for his behavior. Because I believed his desire to reconcile and get counseling I recanted my statements against him and he got off the hook with the military. Once he was off the hook, he turned back into the monster and was violent again. I tried to move into a women's shelter, but he ended up getting arrested.

Q: How will domestic violence affect the divorce settlement? Will his behavior be overlooked? Since his attorney is willing to lie for him, could it backfire on me? If so, should I not make the domestic abuse an issue in the divorce? Do I have any choice?


3. Reinstatement of dismissed dissolution

Now my husband is trying to reinstate the dismissed divorce retroactive to March because it was "with prejudice". I keep hearing that all I MIGHT get is half our duplex. I am frightened for so many reasons - I am in his house and even though he has temporary protection order against him he is doing creepy things like asking for all of his knives. I am also scared I am going to get the short end of the stick in property division because of the short length of the marriage and because his attorney is willing to lie for him. I didn't get temporary support when my husband had me locked me out of the house because his attorney lied to the judge and told him my husband was being deployed, so the judge delayed the hearing 4 months. He was only being sent tdy to CA for 3 weeks. This time around, my husand's attorney called my former attorney to threaten that the divorce will be a "monster from hell" and that he should require a huge retainer from me. Since my former attorney did not advocate for me at temp support hearing I no longer retain him, but he did pass on the threats. As if all of this were not bad enough, I found out after the "reconciliation" that my husband's attorney lied about money he was supposed to give me to move back out of state. I found an email from the attorney to my husband telling him she had the money, but that she didn't want to give it to me and she was going to lie to my former attorney about it.

Q: Do I stand a chance of getting half of our duplex, half of the property purchased during the marriage, car, etc, half of the appreciation of accounts and real estate, etc. or will it be discounted due to the short length of the marriage?
When I turn my husband's attorney into the attorney regulation committee, will they discipline her for lying or will her behavior be overlooked?

What is the name of your state? CO

 

[Welcome 2 CO]

My kids and I would have been homeless and living in a shelter if my mother's family had not taken us in. I have already sunk $5,500 into legal fees - and I was not represented. If anyone has any help or advice - or simply CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS in regards to what I am potentially facing or how i should move forward, I would TRULY appreciate it.

 

[Welcome 2 CO]

in case you ask

Just for the record, yes, I am actively seeking employment and have been and I'm sure I will find something soon.

I also wanted to know if anyone thinks that since they are asking for reinstatement retroactively, can I ask for temporary maintenance retroactive to the date of the original filing? I need it to move back home.

 

[majomom1]

Just for the record, yes, I am actively seeking employment and have been and I'm sure I will find something soon.

I also wanted to know if anyone thinks that since they are asking for reinstatement retroactively, can I ask for temporary maintenance retroactive to the date of the original filing? I need it to move back home.

IMO... i would move back home and look for work there. Do you have family that can help you get moved?

Temporary maintenance will probably be nixed, and should be, especially after only 11 months. How much equity and property do you have? Again with only 11 months, it doesn't seem like there would be enough to make it worth the fight, or expense.

I would certainly turn the attorney in, if you have solid proof. They can mail you the check

 

[Welcome 2 CO]

Yes Moving

Thanks, Majo

I am in the process of negotiating for a job out of state now.

The temporary maintenance is something he HAS to pay according to the military. It is also something that a judge is LIKELY to make him pay given the fact that I left a job to marry him and the huge discrepancy in pay. He makes 96K a year and I don't currently have an income, but left a job that paid 32K.

And as for amounts it will be a minimum of 9K, which he will probably have to pay according to the military, but could be a max of 30K, depending on how the judge interprets CO law....

 

[Welcome 2 CO]

CO law says that all property gained in the marriage, despite the duration, is marital and has to be split "equitably" and that includes any increase or decrease in value of separarate property owned before the marriage. So, he has to split the gain or loss of value on his home for 11 months, he has to split the money in checkings and savings - before he cleaned them out, he has to split the new vehicle, he has to split everything else he/we bought for 11 months - patio furniture, and thousands in home improvemens. So, regardless of whether it was 11 months or 11 years, CO law says everything purchased after the wedding date is marital property and has to be split equitably - and that is my question - how will a judge likely determine "equitable" - 1/2, 1/3?? Just because it was a short term marriage does not excuse my husband from having to split the marital assets. In regards to the duplex, the law is very clear that it has to be split 50/50 as JTIC - and it is the largest asset or worth the most. He can't just get out of this and take everything just because I want to get away from him.

 

[profmum]

You might be entitled to some of his BAH for a short while, honestly despite all the CO laws you quote, it is a 11 month marriage with no children, the judge is highly unlikely to give you half of his duplex proceeds furniture etc..If I were you i would consider myself lucky that you got out of this before things became tragic, get a credit card, buy some plane tickets with it and LEAVE with your kids!! You went along with him purchasing the duplex in his name (did you not know you had to be at closing if it were in both your names??), trasnferring your money into his individual checking account etc..

leave it be and start again

 

[Welcome 2 CO]

Prof, thanks for the reply,


The duplex is not his. It is ours. WE have both paid for it, but mostly the renters have paid for it. The duplex is in my name AND his name. WE purchased it almost 4 years ago. There is no dispute about the duplex. Half is his and half is mine.

I do not want his furniture.

I do not want his house.

He has a protection order against him until the 3rd week of January - when it might become permanent. I will move out of state as soon as I can afford it.

I don't want half of the appreciation on the marital property.

I do want all of the temporary maintenance - just enough to move and get back on my feet - besides, he has to pay it whether he wants to or not - it's the law.

I think it is the least he can do to just settle this reasonably without making the divorce a "monster from hell" like his attorney threatened. It would be nice if I could just move and be rid of him, but like a text book abuser, since he can't abuse me any other way, he is going to do it legally.

I don't think hiding my head in the sand is going to help me. I have to stand up for myself -I just hope a judge can see it this way, too, rather than encourage his attorney's behavior.

 

[majomom1]

Just the two I have. I posted the second one because the first one was long and no one replied to it. I thought if I broke down the info it would make it easier to respond - and so it seems - I have received responses

Just for future reference... you can edit your posts, to shorten it, or whatever... rather than starting a new one.

 

[Welcome 2 CO]

It is gone, no offense, fair

 

[profmum]

Prof, thanks for the reply,


The duplex is not his. It is ours. WE have both paid for it, but mostly the renters have paid for it. The duplex is in my name AND his name. WE purchased it almost 4 years ago. There is no dispute about the duplex. Half is his and half is mine.

The you will get half of the proceeds from its sale, or half of the current equity, you need to get an appraisal for that equity amount is

I do want all of the temporary maintenance - just enough to move and get back on my feet - besides, he has to pay it whether he wants to or not - it's the law.
if he is a military senior (and must be Major, LTC or higher judging by his income that you state), call his CO to get him to pay the portion of the BAH he owes you, if he is not paying it already, it wont be for long though. You may want to check with the local JAG office to see if you even qualify for anything and if you do, and he is not paying it, his CO should be able to get it done. It is embarassing for military officers NOT to pay the required CS etc

I think it is the least he can do to just settle this reasonably without making the divorce a "monster from hell" like his attorney threatened. It would be nice if I could just move and be rid of him, but like a text book abuser, since he can't abuse me any other way, he is going to do it legally.

Dont count on it..

 

[IrishLady47]

Correct me if I have gotten the facts wrong--but right now you are living in the house purchased in Colorado and are currently unemployed.

Who is paying the mortgage? If it is your husband, that will be considered support by the military. And, since there is no court order or other financial agreement--if the mortgage payment is equal to his BAH (or your prorated share if he has other dependents), he's not required to give you any additional funds. Once you leave that residence, he will be required to send you an amount of funds equal to his BAH II With rate (or your prorated share) until you are actually divorced.

Do you contact his command during the period you and your daughter left the house to notify them that he was not supporting you? If not, he's probably going to claim you were just visiting with relatives and the military is NOT going to make him pay retroactive support UNLESS you get a court order. Especially if you are now back living in the marital residence.

Totally agree you are due half of the equity in the duplex and that seems to be the only substantial asset. There can't be that much equity, if any, in current house.

Since you have only been in Colorado a short time and as a military family member, you still should meet the residence requirements in your state. I really do not understand why you don't move back home and until you find employment--notify his command of the need for support. At least you'll get something until the divorce is final. I seriously doubt a state court, CO or any other, is going to award you any kind of temporary maintenance for such a short marriage.

What are you looking for?

 

[Welcome 2 CO]

Hi Irish,
Thanks - and yes, you are right. While I am living in his house, it applies as BAH. However, I hope to be moving in the next 30 days.

I contacted his CO last time. I also contacted ACS and the victim's advocacy office. His CO not only didn't help me, but my husband and his CO went around the base and threatened everyone they thought might be helping me. I know this because one of the MPs called me to tell me after my husband's CO threatened him with his job.

My brother, who is career military, unlike my activated reservist husband - a major - turned my husband into the inspector general for misusing his government issued computer for porn, abandonment, etc.

His CO hijacked the investigation by convincing the battallion HQ to put him in charge of the investigation. I, however, contacted the senator's office and they recommended a congressional inquiry through the pentagon. His CO was removed. He got off the hook last time by claiming to repent. Not so this time. I have been told he will have to "retire" in May.

I am hoping to be able to start a new career out of state soon and get enough CO temporary maintenance to cover my moving costs and maybe some of my attorney's fees. I think I sound reasonable. I just hope I can push for mediation/settlement and if not then push for a court date - oy, oy, oy.

I can't wait to get it done and over with. If I could just leave I would. Unfortunately, it's not that simple, but I do have some help and I think we will make it with or without the temp maint.

Again, thanks for the reply. I sincerely appreciate it.

 

[IrishLady47]

Hi Irish,
Thanks - and yes, you are right. While I am living in his house, it applies as BAH. However, I hope to be moving in the next 30 days..

Moving where? Now I'm confused, I thought you couldn't just leave.

His CO hijacked the investigation by convincing the battallion HQ to put him in charge of the investigation. I, however, contacted the senator's office and they recommended a congressional inquiry through the pentagon. His CO was removed. He got off the hook last time by claiming to repent. Not so this time. I have been told he will have to "retire" in May.

Okay, the IG or a congressional inquiry was one of the possible next steps to take since your husband's commanding officer did not do his job. Who is the "he" who will have to "retire" in May, your husband or his commanding officer?

I am hoping to be able to start a new career out of state soon and get enough CO temporary maintenance to cover my moving costs and maybe some of my attorney's fees. I think I sound reasonable. I just hope I can push for mediation/settlement and if not then push for a court date - oy, oy, oy.

I can't wait to get it done and over with. If I could just leave I would. Unfortunately, it's not that simple, but I do have some help and I think we will make it with or without the temp maint.

You may be reasonable--but your husband does not sound so from what you have presented. I wish you luck even though I believe you're going to end up spending more in legal fees than you'll ever see in "temporary maintenance".

 

[Welcome 2 CO]

I can't move without a job. I moved from MT a year ago to marry my husband. I quit a job there to move to CO to get married. He has been a nightmare - been violent to me on 3 different occasions, locked me and my daughter out of the house for 3 months. Refused to pay any BAH until forced after 2 months. I am only still here because I believed his lies and because I haven't had a job.

I am hoping to get a job offer next week or the week after. IF I get the job, then I can move. If not, then I will have to stay in his house and keep hoping that I will get a job very soon. I can stay at least until the middle of January, but I don't want to. I have been looking for a job the las several months in co spgs, but it is a really tough market. I can finance the move on credit cards, but without a job I can't/won't do it.

"He" is my husband. The victim's advocates and the social workers and counselors on base are all telling me it is likely the military will "strongly recommend" that my husband retire in May. Based on his past behavior and threats and from what I have learned - if the military forces him to retire he will blame me and probably try to get revenge on me. Unbelievable - I have nothing to do with it.

I am pursuing a restraining order, which he is also very angry about.

My husband's CO has been very ugly to me the past year, but even more ugly the past few months. I don't know, but I strongly suspect that the MP who called me complained about my husband's CO threatening the MP.

My brother actually said that it's guys like my husband who make it hard for everyone else to wear the uniform.

I am afraid you are right about the legal fees, too. I have been fortunate to get free representation for the protection order from an outstanding attorney who volunteers for legal services, however, they can't tell me if they can find a family law attorney to represent me. Besides, if i get a job, I don't know if I will be eligible?

I KNOW my husband is going to make the divorce as ugly as he can. From what I keep hearing he will become worse because I am trying to leave because he is losing control.

For some reason he thinks he can beat me, lock my daughter and me out of our home and make our lives hell - no remorse for what he did to my 12 year old - or me. Yet when I take steps to protect myself, he gets angry when he is made accountable and escalates things even more.

It is difficult to pursue the protection order for this reason, but after my daughter saw him hit me and after a judge's lecture, I am committed to not letting him bully me anymore. Being kind to him only adds to his entitlement.

I DO need a really good attorney, but I want to consult with legal services until it is necessary to retain an attorney to reduce my legal fees. I just don't have the money to pay an attorney right now. I could put a retainer on a credit card, but don't want to until I have to and I have a job.

I truly appreciate your response.