I ALSO need help REALLY bad!!

[Chamillion]

What is the name of your state? TX

Friday I went to pick my daughter up for my visitation and was served a TRO citing a couple things from not returning my daughter on time to drawing down on my ex with a shotgun. (both untrue)

Sunday the 4th I called my ex and text messaged her trying to let her know I was going to run late dropping my daughter off because I had to stay at work later than expected for a meeting. I'm supposed to have her there for 6pm, but showed up at 8pm. She did not answer her phone nor did she return any text messages, and I know she received them because I can request a receipt via my cell phone that the messages were received. I arrived at her home at 8pm and my daughter's moms car was not there. I knocked on the door and her mother (child's grandmother) was there and stated that my ex had gone to the store and she'd be right back, but I could leave the child with her if I wanted to. I told her no, that I would wait for her to return from the store.

I called and text messaged my ex letting her know I was there waiting and she never responded. After waiting for 30 minutes I asked where she was and to give me an anticipated arrival time if she could so that I could either try and meet her somewhere or just continue to wait. This was through text, which was never returned, and I called again and she did not answer. I called and text messaged her a few more times and she did not return my calls or text messages. I sent her a last one stating that if she didn't at least call me back to let me know how much longer I had to wait, that I was going to leave and she'd have to pick our daughter up in the morning from the police station. She never responded and after waiting over an hour, I went home. The reason I will not leave the child with her mother is because she has been institutionalized in the past and has bi polar. I don't trust her with my daughter and never did. So much that when my ex and I were together, we made a mutual decision to NOT leave our daughter alone with her mother.

About 10:30 I was awakened from bed to the sound of a continuosly blowing horn outside. I looked out the window and saw a car in our driveway. I could not make out the type of car because we have those dark screens on our windows, so all I saw was headlights. I did not even think it was my ex because we live WAY in the country, she had never been to our house, and they had detours that made it even more difficult to get there. My fiancee and I both believed she'd never find our house. So I'm thinking its some crazy fool outside, so I grab my shotgun and creep out the door and around the side of my car to provide a shield between me and the person in the car, and then I realize it was my ex. I just stared at her, the shotgun pointed to the ground, and shook my head and went back inside. She NEVER stopped laying on her horn.

I put the shotgun up and went back outside and asked her what her problem was and she stated she wanted our daughter. I told her no, that I tried to return her and she wouldn't even answer my calls or return my messages...or the fact that she could've walked up and knocked on the door instead of blowing her horn continuously waking the entire neighborhood up. I old her that she was sleeping and I wasn't waking her up because it was late. I told her she needed to go home and that I had already called LE and told them we'd be making the exchange there in the morning. She laid on the horn for another 10 minutes without stopping until my fiancee's cousin who lived out there came by and identified himself as a police officer and asked her to stop. We waited for the sheriff to get there and they basically told me I had the option to return my daughter or keep her. I decided to end the madness and just let her have her. She was issued a criminal trespass warning and left.

I NEVER raised the shotgun to her or in the direction of her vehicle because before I got that close I realized who it was. The situation was filmed almost to its entirety with just missing the part when I first went outside with the shotgun. When we realized it was my ex we started videotaping.

This is not the first time I've tried to return my daughter and she wasn't home and wouldn't answer the phone or text messages. I waited for her for an hour on a previous date and left, but that time she actually called me back finally 2.5 hours later and I met her halfway.

I've ALWAYS returned my daughter on time as the court order says, give or take one or two instances where I was running 5 or 10 minutes late due to traffic, and even then I ALWAYS called to let her know.

The affidavit she swore to states that I have NEVER returned her on time on Sunday, and that I'd wait until Monday and return her to school, which happened only once, and that was because I was told I had state standard visitation which allows me the option to do so. The judge said no when my attorney went to enter the orders and advised me to return her at 6 which I did every time since then. I have her at my home blowing her horn on video for over 15 minutes. I have phone records showing that I called and text messaged her NUMEROUS times to establish contact with her and she chose not to answer nor return them. I have audio recordings that show the time and date that I returned her because I ALWAYS record audio whether I'm picking up or dropping off my kid.

The affidavit also states that I drew my gun on her and told her to leave my property, which I did not draw down on her, but I did ask her to leave. I go to court Tuesday after next in which I am to defend against this thing. What steps do I need to take, evidence I need to enter, etc...in order to have this thing lifted. Since i can prove she lied in her affidavit, can I do something about that as well? They aren't allowing me within 100 yards of my daughter or ex until the court date. I need help please!!

 

[CourtClerk]

If your court date is next Tuesday, then don't worry about not seeing your daughter. Make sure you get an attorney between now and then in the interim.

If for some reason you can't, you better make sure you have that video in court to show what happened that day, but I question how she knew you had the shotgun in your hand if you say she never saw it (just makes me say hmmmm). Officer cousin may make a good witness, also make sure you contact the court before hand and let them know you have video that is integral to your case and you want to make sure there is a way for the bench officer to view it (you'll need a TV or something). Alternatively, you may be able to put it on DVD and play it on a laptop... although keep in mind, video can be altered. Your cell phone records, anything that proves you attempted to call her ad nauseum is helpful also.

 

[Chamillion]

On no no no...I guess I wasn't clear about the shotgun part. She saw it, I know that for fact. She's saying I pointed it at her and told her to get off my property, which I did not do as far as the shotgun goes. I held in the downward position by my side the entire time I was outside not once raising it or pointing it in her direction.

 

[LdiJ]

On no no no...I guess I wasn't clear about the shotgun part. She saw it, I know that for fact. She's saying I pointed it at her and told her to get off my property, which I did not do as far as the shotgun goes. I held in the downward position by my side the entire time I was outside not once raising it or pointing it in her direction.

Yes, but you have no witness to that fact.

I will tell you honestly, that I think that you handled the entire situation poorly. You should have left your daughter with her grandmother. I realize that you don't want to do that, but its what you should have done. Once her mother came to pick her up, you should have handed her over without arguing about it.

Also....if there is someone outside that you think is dangerous, then you don't go outside with a shotgun, you call the fricking police!

Your fiance's cousin won't be of much help to you. In fact, he might even get in some trouble for that himself. An on duty officer would have been the more appropriate person to handle that.

All in all dude...I think you brought this on yourself.

I am sympathetic to the fact that you didn't want to leave her with her grandmother, and sympathetic to the fact that you didn't want to wake her up at 10:30 to go home, but I honestly feel that they were both poor decisions under the circumstances. And going outside with the shotgun...sorry but that was just plain stupid in my opinion.

 

[CJane]

Honestly? Your story is less than credible.

You give NO reason that will be considered 'good cause' for not leaving the child with the grandmother.

You have NO reason to continuously text and call the mother of the child demanding to know her whereabouts.

You claim that you were at her house for over an hour - which means you left there at 9 or so... and traveled WAY out into the boonies and were sound asleep at 1030... less than believable.

You NEVER should have gone outside armed. I realize you have the legal right to do-so, but it's not a smart move.

You NEVER should have refused to return the child to her mother and necessitated a call to the police.

I wouldn't imagine fighting the TRO is going to work out for you. Be prepared to surrender all of your firearms... and your right to possess them for at least the next 12 months.

 

[Ohiogal]

I agree. Unless the court orders state otherwise, you should HAVE left your daughter with her grandmother. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DICTATE that you won't.
You also have no right to draw a shotgun on the MOTHER of your child. That falls under domestic violence. I don't care if it is pointed downwards. You were carrying it and you could have done serious bodily harm with it.
Your fiancee's cousin will not help your case as he will be considered bias. The sheriff may help but may not. especially if video consists of YOU holding a shotgun outside while talking to the MOTHER of your CHILD.

 

[Chamillion]

Honestly? Your story is less than credible.

You give NO reason that will be considered 'good cause' for not leaving the child with the grandmother.

The grandmother having been considered mentally unstable at one point, and the mother and I BOTH agreeing that we wouldn't leave the child alone with her isn't good enough cause?

You have NO reason to continuously text and call the mother of the child demanding to know her whereabouts.

I was trying to simply check and see where she was to make sure I got her child back to her as soon as possible, adn she wouldn't answer her phone. As stated before, even without the mother involved, she has done this before when I tried to return her. Not at home, doesn't answer when I try and talk to her about surrendering the child, finally calls over 2 hours after the fact?

You claim that you were at her house for over an hour - which means you left there at 9 or so... and traveled WAY out into the boonies and were sound asleep at 1030... less than believable.

I live in the boonies, yes. But its only 30 minutes from her house. The kids were in bed by 10, as was I. I work 2 jobs, one that keeps me up from Saturday night until Sunday morning at 6a, and then go to my second job from 7a-4:30p on some weekends, and this happened to be one of them. So it doesn't take me long to go to sleep when I finally get in the bed.

You NEVER should have gone outside armed. I realize you have the legal right to do-so, but it's not a smart move.

I had my 3 kids, and my fiancee in the house. My thinking was protection, not that it was my ex outside acting stupid.

You NEVER should have refused to return the child to her mother and necessitated a call to the police.

The fact that I tried to return the child previously to her and she didn't even call me back doesn't count? But she can come and disturb the peace at my home and get away with it?

I wouldn't imagine fighting the TRO is going to work out for you. Be prepared to surrender all of your firearms... and your right to possess them for at least the next 12 months.

If the court views this thing in that manner, its crazy. Does the fact that she has denied my visitation 5 times since the Temp orders were in place, as well as the fact that SHE assaulted me weigh in on any of this?

 

[Chamillion]

I agree. Unless the court orders state otherwise, you should HAVE left your daughter with her grandmother. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DICTATE that you won't.
You also have no right to draw a shotgun on the MOTHER of your child. That falls under domestic violence. I don't care if it is pointed downwards. You were carrying it and you could have done serious bodily harm with it.
Your fiancee's cousin will not help your case as he will be considered bias. The sheriff may help but may not. especially if video consists of YOU holding a shotgun outside while talking to the MOTHER of your CHILD.

I did not draw a shotgun on the mother of my child. I was taking it with me because I had no idea who it was in my driveway behaving the way they were. When I realized it was her, I stared for 2 seconds, and then turned around and went inside the house and put it up. I did not speak to her, nor approach her car with the weapon. I was at least 20 feet from her car when I realized it was her.

 

[Ohiogal]

I did not draw a shotgun on the mother of my child. I was taking it with me because I had no idea who it was in my driveway behaving the way they were. When I realized it was her, I stared for 2 seconds, and then turned around and went inside the house and put it up. I did not speak to her, nor approach her car with the weapon. I was at least 20 feet from her car when I realized it was her.

And 20 feet is more than close enough that you could have killed her with it, she saw it and would have felt threatened. NORMAL people do not carry around guns in their house.

 

[Ohiogal]

If the court views this thing in that manner, its crazy. Does the fact that she has denied my visitation 5 times since the Temp orders were in place, as well as the fact that SHE assaulted me weigh in on any of this?

Have you filed contempt on her prior to this? Did you file charges for the assault? What was the outcome? And no the court is not crazy. Are you familiar at ALL with the domestic violence lies?

 

[>Charlotte<]

we made a mutual decision to NOT leave our daughter alone with her mother.

Does the court order state anything about not leaving your daughter with her grandmother? I'm guessing it doesn't. The court order supersedes any previous verbal agreement. It's as simple as that. You even acknowledge:

The judge said no when my attorney went to enter the orders and advised me to return her at 6 which I did every time since then.

And there you go.

Plus, you were aware back in January that the mother had no problem leaving the child with the grandmother when you stated she was leaving her there for weekends.

One of the problems you might have with the shotgun/video thing is that while you say you didn't realize it was your child's mother and only took it for protection, the video doesn't show what you were thinking, it only shows what you were doing. Which is confronting your child's mother with a shotgun. Whether you brandished it for two seconds or two hours probably isn't going to matter much.

 

[Chamillion]

Have you filed contempt on her prior to this? Did you file charges for the assault? What was the outcome? And no the court is not crazy. Are you familiar at ALL with the domestic violence lies?

Yes. Yes. She goes to court on the 16th of this month to stand trial for it (assault). Domestic Violence lies? No I've never heard of them, but please enlighten me as I really don't feel like I've done anything wrong here. I need all of the information that I can get regardless of whether it be what I want or don't want to hear.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Have you filed contempt on her prior to this? Did you file charges for the assault? What was the outcome? And no the court is not crazy. Are you familiar at ALL with the domestic violence lies?

There's all kinds of history here, OG. He's gotten RO's, she's gotten RO's, he's accusing the grandmother's boyfriend of dealing drugs, he's trying to get the mother's boyfriend investigated for sexually abusing the daughter, it's a mess.

In January he hadn't paid child support in four years due to an informal agreement they had, and he was asking about obtaining custody. You guys told him if he went for custody he could count on the mother filing contempt for non-payment. Guess what happened eight months later? Yeah.

It's all pretty convoluted.

 

[Chamillion]

Does the court order state anything about not leaving your daughter with her grandmother? I'm guessing it doesn't. The court order supersedes any previous verbal agreement. It's as simple as that. You even acknowledge:



And there you go.

Plus, you were aware back in January that the mother had no problem leaving the child with the grandmother when you stated she was leaving her there for weekends.

One of the problems you might have with the shotgun/video thing is that while you say you didn't realize it was your child's mother and only took it for protection, the video doesn't show what you were thinking, it only shows what you were doing. Which is confronting your child's mother with a shotgun. Whether you brandished it for two seconds or two hours probably isn't going to matter much.

Her mother dropped our daughter off at her grandmothers because she had no choice. When I found out she was dropping her off over there back then, I asked her to stop and she did...at least from what she says. I do understand that we have to abide by the order, but if I don't feel that my daughter is going to be safe with just her mother there I feel its just that I do not surrender the child to her.

 

[LdiJ]

If the court views this thing in that manner, its crazy. Does the fact that she has denied my visitation 5 times since the Temp orders were in place, as well as the fact that SHE assaulted me weigh in on any of this?

Please hire yourself a good attorney....you honestly don't grasp what you did wrong and how it impacts you, and you need a good attorney to both explain that to you, AND to defend you.

First mistake: You were two hours late returning the child. Huge no-no. If work caused that problem then you should have had someone else return the child to mom on time.

Second mistake: You didn't leave the child with her grandmother.

Third mistake: Instead of calling the police you went outside with your shotgun...again, and I repeat again, just plain STUPID...and I don't for one minute believe that you didn't at least have a strong suspicion that it was mom in your driveway.

Fourth mistake: You didn't simply give the child to mom when you realized it was mom in your driveway.

Fifth mistake: You got your fiance's "cousin who is a police officer" to make an attempt to intimidate mom into leaving....which could also get HIM into trouble.

Sixth issue....you got smart and released the child to mom once the sheriff got involved.

In the whole chain of events the only wise thing you did was the last one.

And if you had done the proper thing on number 1, none of the rest of this would have happened.