please help, any advice will greatly be appreciated...

[bb6showstoppa]

Texas

the journey begins


I seriouly need everyones help here. I was with this girl for 5 years. Everything was fine until last year. To keep the long story short, I was informed about the pregnancy 3 months before my son was due. Six months ago, she decideds she's not happy with me anymore. She's dating someone else now. Her mother hates me. Her grand parents dislike me also. They always have. They even kicked me out of the emergency room when my son was born. Because it wasn't planed, I wasn't financially stable or ready for my son, but I did what I could. I paid for the hospital bill (what was left after insurance). She didn't even bother to give the kid my last name. I gave her money every chance that I got. At one point I was giving her 200 dollars a week for the kid and her. Well now that we are no longer together, she wants nothing to do with me.

She's not responding to me. I'm trying everything in my power but it just dosn't seem to be helping. It's hard because she lives with her grandparents and she's still "under their wings". I don't want to make this a legal matter but at this point it seems like the only thing left todo. I don't want sole custody. Although she wants me out of my sons life, I'd still want for her to be in his. I know that a child needs both a mother and a father. I would never take him away from her unless I know she's unfit to be a good mother. It's obvious that she's making this situation about me and her, when it really should be about the child.

I want to be in his life. I want to be a good father, at any cost. I'm depressed and I miss him. What should I do. Please help me......



my son is turning 1yo this early december

​

 

[Ohiogal]

And yet no where did I see where you filed in court to establish paternity, support and custody/visitation. So when you going to do that?

 

[bb6showstoppa]

that's the reason why i'm here. I'll admit that this is something totally new to me. I'm just looking for direction on where to go or what todo. How would I go about that?

 

[Ohiogal]

that's the reason why i'm here. I'll admit that this is something totally new to me. I'm just looking for direction on where to go or what todo. How would I go about that?

Hire an attorney to file the proper motions in the proper area (wherever the mom and child have been living for the last six months).

 

[bb6showstoppa]

Texas

so now I must find a lawyer. You wouldn't happen to know of a good lawyer in the dallas fortwort area by any chance would you?

 

[Ohiogal]

Look UP!

so now I must find a lawyer. You wouldn't happen to know of a good lawyer in the dallas fortwort area by any chance would you?

See up at the top of the page. Nope. Not that high. Right below the US LAW ONLY -- WHEN POSTING A QUESTION, YOU MUST INCLUDE THE NAME OF YOUR STATE

Yeah right... ooooo, almost got it. Yep right there. The [Post your case to an attorney] tab.
Hit that. Enter the information. Yep. you got it.

You are welcome.

 

[bb6showstoppa]

haha, you're quite a character. I've been doing some reading in the forum and i must say, you get you're point across everything. Thanks for doing what you do.

 

[bb6showstoppa]

topic would be under child custody right?

 

[Just Blue]

topic would be under child custody right?

Yes**************..(gotta have 10 characters...)

 

[Ohiogal]

haha, you're quite a character. I've been doing some reading in the forum and i must say, you get you're point across everything. Thanks for doing what you do.

Yep. If I were on TV it would be Emmy-award winning; the big screen Oscar worthy!
And we have found another NEWBIE who gets it.

 

[bb6showstoppa]

is there any other advice you'd like to mention before I embark on this journey? like what to expect, mentally, financially, ect...

 

[profmum]

is there any other advice you'd like to mention before I embark on this journey? like what to expect, mentally, financially, ect...

that it will be expensive, that it will get ugly, that you need to legalize every possible detail (as much as you can), that it can be unfair, and that it is all worth it to be a parent
and that just because Mum does not want you to have anything to do with your son, does not mean that it will happen that way..most likely you two will get joint legal decision making with some graduated parenting schedule that is appropriate for infants.

 

[bb6showstoppa]

that it will be expensive, that it will get ugly, that you need to legalize every possible detail (as much as you can), that it can be unfair, and that it is all worth it to be a parent
and that just because Mum does not want you to have anything to do with your son, does not mean that it will happen that way..most likely you two will get joint legal decision making with some graduated parenting schedule that is appropriate for infants.

that made me feel alot better

thanks.

 

[Silverplum]

Yep. If I were on TV it would be Emmy-award winning; the big screen Oscar worthy!

Darling! You're gorgeous! You're fabulous!

And we have found another NEWBIE who gets it.

We love him.

C'mon back for help, Dad. Here's some introductory TX info for you (no other states involved? Then stick to TX only - anything else is just confusing and inaccurate). Some info will discuss "divorced" fathers, which you are not. That's okay, as long as you realize you are working from the position of "unmarried" father.

http://ocse.acf.hhs.gov/ext/irg/sps/report.cfm?State=TX

http://www.guidelineeconomics.com/about/whichstate.htm

And the Mighty Texas Statutes, may be too advanced for now, but helpful to bookmark:
http://tlo2.tlc.state.tx.us/statutes/fa.toc.htm

 

[bb6showstoppa]

update....

Texas

To update my situation, I spent 4 hours in court this morning. Long story short, It got pretty nasty between the mother and I but in the end I got what I wanted. Judge granted me visitation and slowly it would get better I suppose. I want to take this time to thank everyone in this thread for the advice and input you have shared, it helped me in ways you couldn't imagine. Thank you to TXrose for the lawyer, he was great! If you guys have any other advice you'd like to share with me about what or how I should proceed from here please share, keep in mind it's my first time being a father......

thank you.