Guardianship If I Die?

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state? Alabama

Involved in a custody/support case for my 10 yr old Daughter. (I filed for support via DHR, he counterfiled for custody-visitation.) Her father has not (in 10 years) had any contact, has not supported her, etc, even though he knew where I lived for the first 8 years of her life (he did know I was pregnant; I broke up with him when I was 5mths along).

We've both lawyered up, and are waiting for the hearing in January. My lawyer thinks that it is highly unlikely that he will get any kind of custody and will have to start with supervised visitation. (During our last court appearance, his lawyer told my lawyer that he'd drop the custody-visitation if I'd drop the child support.) I've told my lawyer I'd just as soon he not get any kind of visitation, but I'd do as the court orders. I've not bad-mouthed him to my daughter and have told my parents that they could not either.

I know that as things stand now, if I died he'd get custody because we've been tested and he has acknowledged paternity. Should I talk to my lawyer about adding some kind of clause in the paperwork that in the event of my demise that guardianship would pass to one of my brothers with her father retaining the right to visitation?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? Alabama

Involved in a custody/support case for my 10 yr old Daughter. (I filed for support via DHR, he counterfiled for custody-visitation.) Her father has not (in 10 years) had any contact, has not supported her, etc, even though he knew where I lived for the first 8 years of her life (he did know I was pregnant; I broke up with him when I was 5mths along).

We've both lawyered up, and are waiting for the hearing in January. My lawyer thinks that it is highly unlikely that he will get any kind of custody and will have to start with supervised visitation. (During our last court appearance, his lawyer told my lawyer that he'd drop the custody-visitation if I'd drop the child support.) I've told my lawyer I'd just as soon he not get any kind of visitation, but I'd do as the court orders. I've not bad-mouthed him to my daughter and have told my parents that they could not either.

I know that as things stand now, if I died he'd get custody because we've been tested and he has acknowledged paternity. Should I talk to my lawyer about adding some kind of clause in the paperwork that in the event of my demise that guardianship would pass to one of my brothers with her father retaining the right to visitation?

You can't really do that in that fashion. You can express a preference in your will. But the court is not bound by that.

 

[TheGeekess]

Thanks, SilverPlum. I'll see about that paperwork ASAP.

 

[CJane]

You should also look into standby guardianship. I think, if Dad is ordered supervised visitation, he'd be hard-pressed to get custody if it came to a court battle... which is what standby guardianship will do for you/your child.

 

[TheGeekess]

You should also look into standby guardianship. I think, if Dad is ordered supervised visitation, he'd be hard-pressed to get custody if it came to a court battle... which is what standby guardianship will do for you/your child.

I will also do this. I'd just hate for her to end up with a family that she knows nothing about when there's four married uncles that would be willing to take care of her if needed.

 

[Accountable]

Coming from a similiar situation to yours. However, the ugliness is over and we are now behaving civilly, although he has still not had any contact with the child.

We included a clause in our proposed agreed order stipulating that custodial guardianship will transfer to my sister if i should die, and he will still only be entitled to his visitation rights as stipulated under the order. Since it's agreed between the two of us, the court should have no problem with it. However, if your daughter's father will not agree, it's not really something you can dictate.

 

[Silverplum]

Coming from a similiar situation to yours. However, the ugliness is over and we are now behaving civilly, although he has still not had any contact with the child.

We included a clause in our proposed agreed order stipulating that custodial guardianship will transfer to my sister if i should die, and he will still only be entitled to his visitation rights as stipulated under the order. Since it's agreed between the two of us, the court should have no problem with it. However, if your daughter's father will not agree, it's not really something you can dictate.

Geekess, the answers you have received from CJane and Accountable are far superior to mine.

 

[TheGeekess]

I appreciate everyone's input. I'll call my lawyer before our hearing and speak with her about the standby guardianship.

 

[TheGeekess]

I've done a bit of googling and found this:
http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/guardianshipall.pdf

It's a summary of state laws pertaining to standby guardianship. According to the document:
"Alabama
Who Can Nominate a Standby Guardian
The issue of standby guardianship is not addressed in the statutes reviewed.
How to Establish a Standby Guardian
The issue of standby guardianship is not addressed in the statutes reviewed.
How Standby Authority Is Activated
The issue of standby guardianship is not addressed in the statutes reviewed.
Involvement of the Noncustodial Parent
The issue of standby guardianship is not addressed in the statutes reviewed.
Authority Relationship of the Parent and the Standby
The issue of standby guardianship is not addressed in the statutes reviewed.
Withdrawing Guardianship
The issue of standby guardianship is not addressed in the statutes reviewed."

I'll still approach my lawyer with this and see what ideas she has about this situation.

 

[TheGeekess]

Follow Up-Guardianship in Alabama

According to my attorney, I will have to make my preferences known in my will, and that said preferences would carry weight.

To follow up on the rest of the situation: Hearing was postponed until end of February. His attorney scheduled a deposition and after consulting with my attorney (and making sure she would have no surprises!) we attended and I did very well. I was quizzed on everything from church attendance (this is Alabama!) to my psychiatric history.

This week (after my attorney advised me to think about me supervising some of the visits and maybe start before the hearing) I purchased a pre-paid cell phone with voice mail/caller ID. I called my attorney and told her the number of the cell and when The Child would be available . She is going to pass this information along and we shall see how really interested The Child's father is about a relationship with her.

 

[TheGeekess]

Update: Court Hearing

We went to court today... Child Support/Visitation. He'll do phone visitation for a month, supervised visitation 1st & 3rd weekend for a month and then will be allowed unsupervised 1st & 3rd Saturdays from 10AM-4PM. We'll go back to court this summer to see how this is progressing before we move into (probably) the standard visitation.

The CS hearing was almost unreal. DHR wanted 24mths prior to date of filing; I spoke with DHR's lawyer and said that I'd accept ½ that for settlement. His lawyer decided to let the judge decide. So, I got to get on the stand and lay out the behaviour that led to me not wanting to be with him. He got on the stand and denied it all (lying like a yard dog). I should have carried my psych treatment records in with me to rebut his testimony. Judge decided to not award anything beyond date of filing, because (as he said) it was obvious that he and I did not want anything to do each other.

I guess we'll see how the visitation pans out. He did not call her this month (but said he had the times I agreed for him to call The Child but not the number ). I guess we'll see if he follows through.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled posting.

 

[Silverplum]

Wow.
Thanks for the update! I hope it goes really, really well for your child. You're doing the right thing, IMO.

We went to court today... Child Support/Visitation. He'll do phone visitation for a month, supervised visitation 1st & 3rd weekend for a month and then will be allowed unsupervised 1st & 3rd Saturdays from 10AM-4PM. We'll go back to court this summer to see how this is progressing before we move into (probably) the standard visitation.

The CS hearing was almost unreal. DHR wanted 24mths prior to date of filing; I spoke with DHR's lawyer and said that I'd accept ½ that for settlement. His lawyer decided to let the judge decide. So, I got to get on the stand and lay out the behaviour that led to me not wanting to be with him. He got on the stand and denied it all (lying like a yard dog). I should have carried my psych treatment records in with me to rebut his testimony. Judge decided to not award anything beyond date of filing, because (as he said) it was obvious that he and I did not want anything to do each other.

I guess we'll see how the visitation pans out. He did not call her this month (but said he had the times I agreed for him to call The Child but not the number ). I guess we'll see if he follows through.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled posting.

 

[wileybunch]

Wow, that was a pretty fast ramp up to standard visitation. Thanks for the update and good luck to you and your daughter.

 

[TheGeekess]

Wow, that was a pretty fast ramp up to standard visitation. Thanks for the update and good luck to you and your daughter.

He has 4 weeks of bi-weekly supervised calls, if he chooses to avail himself of them. If not, I'll tell her (like I've been telling her this past month) that I can't make him "do" anything. The Child is in counseling, so that will help with whatever turmoil he might put her through.

But I do thank all of you for your kind words. This site has helped me in how I have approached all of this.