gottasmilemore
Member
What is the name of your state? virginia
Ok from my last thread you can see my situation, but here is the short of it. I am going thru mediation for custody, visitation and child support for my 2 youngest children (3 and 15 months) and when we submitted the first agreement the judge rejected it. The mediator said it was about the child support and the the judge is a "child's judge". I don't mind that but the state guideline is coming up as $517 and J and I agree prior that 400 was enough. He is behind on bills and I can deal with that. I don't make much but I make do with what I have for now. The mediator wants to leave support up to the judge and I don't think that is best. I would like to know how to state what we want/need in the agreement.
Ok here is what the letter from the judge says:
I regret that I cannot approve for adoption into a Court order the Memorandum of Agreement as submitted. I am concerned that the agreement may be based on some misunderstanding of the law. If there is no misunderstanding, the agreement, as written, does not make it clear to me the the parties understand what they are doing.
My concerns relate solely to the provisions regarding child support. The agreement indicates that support was calculated pursuant to guidelines for split custody. This is not a split custody case, and those guidelines are inappropriate. "Split custody" means each parent has primary custody of at least one child. in this case both children are in the primary custody of one parent, Ms. Len*. You may have meant to use "shared custody;" the shared custody guideline is appropriate when the other parent has the children for at least 90 days of the year (according to the statutory definition of a day.) It appears that Mr J* would have at least 91 days under this agreement - based on every other weekend for 2.5 days and every Wednesday for .5 days each week.
Also, the calculation you gave me is not a guideline calculation; it contains a deviation of $132 for certain expenses. First I am concerned you have misapplied this deviation. If the intent is to make additional provision for these costs paid by Ms. Len*, you have failed, because you have actually reduced her monthly support by the costs Mr J* will be paying - and the agreement does not say he will. Second, it is a misstatement in the agreement to say that $382.43 is the guideline support, when it is in fact a deviation amount.
If the parties would like to sit down again with the mediator and try to resolve these concerns, I would be happy to consider a modified agreement. If the result is what you intended, the agreement still needs to correctly set the guideline amount - which would be according to either sole or shared custody guideline - so that I can be certain the parties understand the deviation they are agreeing to. If the use of the correct guideline changes the result, obviously that should be reflected in the agreement.
This matter remains on my docket for date* at 9:00 a.m. If a satisfactory agreement is submitted before then, I will gladly enter a final order, and remove the case from the date* docket. If you are unable to settle the issues in light of this letter, Mr. J* and Ms. Len* should appear on date*.
Everything is exactly as it is written in the letter, but the asterisked words have been changed.
So here are my questions:
1. Besides the fact that our mediator used the wrong terms pertaining to custody, is "shared custody" what we meant to use?We want equal rights with me as primary caregiver. I don't want him to be left out in any way.
2. What is a "statutory definition of a day"? He has them from pick up at daycare (around 5p) every Monday until approx 7:30p. Every other weekend Pick up from daycare Friday until drop off to daycare (6-8am) on Monday, and overnight every Wednesday from pick up from daycare to drop off at daycare on Thursday.
3. If the calculation is based on the wrong custody guideline, how do I calculate it? I think that the mediator calculated it right and just use the wrong term.
4. and if she used the wrong guideline. Any idea if that is good or really bad for J? (in other words: is he going to have to pay more if we used wrong guideline in the beginning?)
5. The deviation is the amount we put in that would be the things that J could be paying to help but may not be an every month thing(supplies at daycare, extra curricular activities and such). Just trying to add and calculate the payment lower, I don't know where the mediator put the amount in at. The judge is misunderstanding that we are saying that J is paying them and not me. How do we input that into the agreement so that it is clear?
6. We put that the guideline calculation we used came to $382.43 (using the deviation) and that J agrees to pay above that in the amount of $400.00. How do we state that correctly in the agreement?
7. Any other suggestions based on the above that I can do to help make J's payments what we agreed?
8. If in fact, $517 is the correct amount and the judge will not accept the lower amount, is it legal to just give him back what I don't need. Is there anyway that he pays less in the first place? If he moves to California I really need him to pay through the state so that I can receive help from social services, if needed.
9. If in fact, $517 is the correct amount. How soon can we petition to have it lowered if he changes jobs and makes less, or if I get a raise at work?
10. If I apply and receive assistance through the state is that also grounds to have CS lowered, can that be considered income? I hate to do it, but I do need some help and if it would help J too that would be worth it. If I stop receiving assistance do I have to report it to the court too?
Thank you for all your help!! Sorry for being such a pain =)
Len
p.s. prior thread is "taken advantage of??"
Ok from my last thread you can see my situation, but here is the short of it. I am going thru mediation for custody, visitation and child support for my 2 youngest children (3 and 15 months) and when we submitted the first agreement the judge rejected it. The mediator said it was about the child support and the the judge is a "child's judge". I don't mind that but the state guideline is coming up as $517 and J and I agree prior that 400 was enough. He is behind on bills and I can deal with that. I don't make much but I make do with what I have for now. The mediator wants to leave support up to the judge and I don't think that is best. I would like to know how to state what we want/need in the agreement.
Ok here is what the letter from the judge says:
I regret that I cannot approve for adoption into a Court order the Memorandum of Agreement as submitted. I am concerned that the agreement may be based on some misunderstanding of the law. If there is no misunderstanding, the agreement, as written, does not make it clear to me the the parties understand what they are doing.
My concerns relate solely to the provisions regarding child support. The agreement indicates that support was calculated pursuant to guidelines for split custody. This is not a split custody case, and those guidelines are inappropriate. "Split custody" means each parent has primary custody of at least one child. in this case both children are in the primary custody of one parent, Ms. Len*. You may have meant to use "shared custody;" the shared custody guideline is appropriate when the other parent has the children for at least 90 days of the year (according to the statutory definition of a day.) It appears that Mr J* would have at least 91 days under this agreement - based on every other weekend for 2.5 days and every Wednesday for .5 days each week.
Also, the calculation you gave me is not a guideline calculation; it contains a deviation of $132 for certain expenses. First I am concerned you have misapplied this deviation. If the intent is to make additional provision for these costs paid by Ms. Len*, you have failed, because you have actually reduced her monthly support by the costs Mr J* will be paying - and the agreement does not say he will. Second, it is a misstatement in the agreement to say that $382.43 is the guideline support, when it is in fact a deviation amount.
If the parties would like to sit down again with the mediator and try to resolve these concerns, I would be happy to consider a modified agreement. If the result is what you intended, the agreement still needs to correctly set the guideline amount - which would be according to either sole or shared custody guideline - so that I can be certain the parties understand the deviation they are agreeing to. If the use of the correct guideline changes the result, obviously that should be reflected in the agreement.
This matter remains on my docket for date* at 9:00 a.m. If a satisfactory agreement is submitted before then, I will gladly enter a final order, and remove the case from the date* docket. If you are unable to settle the issues in light of this letter, Mr. J* and Ms. Len* should appear on date*.
Everything is exactly as it is written in the letter, but the asterisked words have been changed.
So here are my questions:
1. Besides the fact that our mediator used the wrong terms pertaining to custody, is "shared custody" what we meant to use?We want equal rights with me as primary caregiver. I don't want him to be left out in any way.
2. What is a "statutory definition of a day"? He has them from pick up at daycare (around 5p) every Monday until approx 7:30p. Every other weekend Pick up from daycare Friday until drop off to daycare (6-8am) on Monday, and overnight every Wednesday from pick up from daycare to drop off at daycare on Thursday.
3. If the calculation is based on the wrong custody guideline, how do I calculate it? I think that the mediator calculated it right and just use the wrong term.
4. and if she used the wrong guideline. Any idea if that is good or really bad for J? (in other words: is he going to have to pay more if we used wrong guideline in the beginning?)
5. The deviation is the amount we put in that would be the things that J could be paying to help but may not be an every month thing(supplies at daycare, extra curricular activities and such). Just trying to add and calculate the payment lower, I don't know where the mediator put the amount in at. The judge is misunderstanding that we are saying that J is paying them and not me. How do we input that into the agreement so that it is clear?
6. We put that the guideline calculation we used came to $382.43 (using the deviation) and that J agrees to pay above that in the amount of $400.00. How do we state that correctly in the agreement?
7. Any other suggestions based on the above that I can do to help make J's payments what we agreed?
8. If in fact, $517 is the correct amount and the judge will not accept the lower amount, is it legal to just give him back what I don't need. Is there anyway that he pays less in the first place? If he moves to California I really need him to pay through the state so that I can receive help from social services, if needed.
9. If in fact, $517 is the correct amount. How soon can we petition to have it lowered if he changes jobs and makes less, or if I get a raise at work?
10. If I apply and receive assistance through the state is that also grounds to have CS lowered, can that be considered income? I hate to do it, but I do need some help and if it would help J too that would be worth it. If I stop receiving assistance do I have to report it to the court too?
Thank you for all your help!! Sorry for being such a pain =)
Len
p.s. prior thread is "taken advantage of??"
