Carseats and update.

[gottasmilemore]

What is the name of your state? Virginia

Ok all is well in adventure-land except that he doesn't like using carseats for the children. I have addressed this issue in mediation and the mediator said that we don't need it written into the aggreement because he has a legal obligation to transport the children safely above and beyond custody and visitation.

I was hoping that he would realize with other people besides me voicing my concern to him that he would see how dangerous that is. Unfortunately, he hasn't gotten it yet; he had Bug, 3yo, in a backless booster in the front seat of his truck buckeled with only the lap-belt. Although I am elated that he had her buckeled at all, she is not 40 lbs and is not tall enough to use a backless booster (which was his excuse for not having the shoulder-belt on her). He does always use a carseat for Monkey (1 yo) and I don't have to worry about him. Sunshine (5 yo) and Bug are always not restrained properly/legaly.

I have offered him my carseats, so they have the proper ones. He will use them when he picks them up, but when he returns them the seats are stored in the back of the truck and the girls are without seats again. I have offered to do the transport when I can. I am trying to work with him on this, but he doesn't seem to grasp the importance of this.

Can someone help me? He still hasn't signed the aggreement and taken it back to mediator so we still have NO court order. We aren't on any bad terms and I don't want to start anything.

For an update:
We aggreed on couseling for the us and Bug.
We aggreed that he would pay insurance premiums 100% and out-of-pocket 50\50.
He also added that he wanted parenting classes, which I thought was a great idea
And we set CS at $400 with deviation due to him paying for clothing, daycare supplies and extra ciricular activities.What is the name of your state?

 

[jaxpink]

What is the name of your state? Virginia

Ok all is well in adventure-land except that he doesn't like using carseats for the children. I have addressed this issue in mediation and the mediator said that we don't need it written into the aggreement because he has a legal obligation to transport the children safely above and beyond custody and visitation.

I was hoping that he would realize with other people besides me voicing my concern to him that he would see how dangerous that is. Unfortunately, he hasn't gotten it yet; he had Bug, 3yo, in a backless booster in the front seat of his truck buckeled with only the lap-belt. Although I am elated that he had her buckeled at all, she is not 40 lbs and is not tall enough to use a backless booster (which was his excuse for not having the shoulder-belt on her). He does always use a carseat for Monkey (1 yo) and I don't have to worry about him. Sunshine (5 yo) and Bug are always not restrained properly/legaly.

I have offered him my carseats, so they have the proper ones. He will use them when he picks them up, but when he returns them the seats are stored in the back of the truck and the girls are without seats again. I have offered to do the transport when I can. I am trying to work with him on this, but he doesn't seem to grasp the importance of this.

Can someone help me? He still hasn't signed the aggreement and taken it back to mediator so we still have NO court order. We aren't on any bad terms and I don't want to start anything.

For an update:
We aggreed on couseling for the us and Bug.
We aggreed that he would pay insurance premiums 100% and out-of-pocket 50\50.
He also added that he wanted parenting classes, which I thought was a great idea
And we set CS at $400 with deviation due to him paying for clothing, daycare supplies and extra ciricular activities.What is the name of your state?

Can't he get ticketed for this. I know if you go to your state transportation website it will say something such as " A year old or up to 20 lbs" and the correct seat to use. I cant see a 3 yo using a backless seat.
Why is he insisting on doing this? Is he just plain lazy or trying to bug you so bad with this?

 

[gottasmilemore]

Why is he insisting on doing this? Is he just plain lazy or trying to bug you so bad with this?

He just doesn't think is "that big a' deal". He says it is hard to buckle the seats in and there isn't enough room. He isn't doing it to make me mad.

He is a great dad except that he doesn't see the danger. I am looking for an answer that is not aggresive. I don't want to show up with a police officer when he drops of the kids next time.

for the record, I almost hope that he gets a ticket. That way it isn't me doing it.

He is still wary of me and when I showed up for mediation prepared and asking for a few more things he wasn't completely happy. I don't want to rock the boat, we still don't have a court order for custody, visitation and support yet.

 

[Accountable]

Send him this link! This occured in the wee hours this morning. A 3 year old DIED because he was not in a car seat. His younger sibling is injured and hospitalized...so is their teenage mother. The driver, a 21 year male (relationship unknown) will be charged with vehicular manslaughter - he was drinking. The mom, however, will also likely face child endangerment charges, if not more severe charges, for failing to ensure her children were properly secured in the vehicle.

http://www.nbc5i.com/news/14879143/detail.html?dl=mainclick

 

[special mom]

He just doesn't think is "that big a' deal". He says it is hard to buckle the seats in and there isn't enough room. He isn't doing it to make me mad.

He is a great dad except that he doesn't see the danger. I am looking for an answer that is not aggresive. .

National Statistics
Children 12 years of age and younger represented 19 percent of the U.S. population in 2000 and 4 percent of motor vehicle deaths. (IIHS).

Among children age 4 to 12 years, crash injuries are the leading cause of death. (IIHS)

1,875 children died in motor vehicle crashes in 2000. (IIHS)

Motor vehicle crashes cause about 1 out of every 3 deaths among children age 12 and younger. (IIHS).

An average of 6 children were killed every day in motor vehicle crashes during 2000. (NHTSA)

An average of 797 children were injured every day in motor vehicle crashes in 2000. (NHTSA)

Sixty-seven percent of the children killed in motor vehicle crashes in 2000 were riding as passengers in a motor vehicle. Thirty percent were riding in the front seat, fifty-nine percent were riding in the rear seat and the remaining were riding in a cargo or unknown area. (IIHS)

In crashes that occurred in 2000 where restraint use could be determined, 36 percent of the children killed were riding unrestrained. (NHTSA)

In 2000, 529 children under age 5 and riding as occupants were killed in vehicle crashes. Of these fatalities, 47 percent (251 children) were unrestrained. (NHTSA)

Child fatalities resulting from motor vehicle crashes are highest during the summer months. (IIHS)

More children are killed in vehicle crashes on weekends than on weekdays. The peak time occurs between 3 and 6 p.m. (IIHS)

I got this off the DMV website for Virginia. If he really doesn't think it is a big deal print out some of the information for him. Being a good parent means ensuring your child's safety to the best of your ability. Seatbelts are a no-brainer.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Carseats and seatbelts have always been a requirement for me. I've told my children that that is the way the driver can 'hug' you while they are driving. It's a mommy hug or daddy hug.

Gottasmile ... sometimes it takes a hit on the pocket book for someone to understand the law. Any officers who could lie in wait looking for an opportunity to write a ticket? A ticket is better than a death or serious injury.

 

[jaxpink]

He just doesn't think is "that big a' deal". He says it is hard to buckle the seats in and there isn't enough room. He isn't doing it to make me mad.

He is a great dad except that he doesn't see the danger. I am looking for an answer that is not aggresive. I don't want to show up with a police officer when he drops of the kids next time.

for the record, I almost hope that he gets a ticket. That way it isn't me doing it.

He is still wary of me and when I showed up for mediation prepared and asking for a few more things he wasn't completely happy. I don't want to rock the boat, we still don't have a court order for custody, visitation and support yet.

http://www.dmv.virginia.gov/webdoc/citizen/drivers/vadm/vadm2-2.asp

 

[gottasmilemore]

He just called

I think that sending him info confirming my worries is great! He just figured out how to "do" email. So i can send them that way and it isn't like me saying, "i think you are a bad dad". This way i am saying look at what happened.

Also he just called and wants to pick the kids up for me from daycare and school. I asked him if he had carseat for all of them and he said yes. I thought he had been missing a seat for Bug, but he said his mom just got a new cover for it so he doesn't have an excuse now. He still thinks I am harping about it, but at least I made sure and reminded him that Sunshine can ride in a booster, but Bug has to be in a full carseat.

We live in a small town and he has been doing this for a little while. I have been hoping that he would have been ticketed before now for it.

Any other suggestions? Also what should I do about the aggreement? Anything I can do besides wait? Court date is only a month away and he took 2 months to "review" it last time.

 

[gottasmilemore]

UPDATE - Jan 4, 2008

I just got the final order!!!!

The petition we turned in from mediation was approved.

I am soo excited. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!!!!

Now that we have a court order I feel so much better. And he has been using carseats consistently too.

 

[LdiJ]

I just got the final order!!!!

The petition we turned in from mediation was approved.

I am soo excited. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!!!!

Now that we have a court order I feel so much better. And he has been using carseats consistently too.

I am really happy for you that things are working out...good luck in the future.

 

[special mom]

I just got the final order!!!!

The petition we turned in from mediation was approved.

I am soo excited. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!!!!

Now that we have a court order I feel so much better. And he has been using carseats consistently too.

That is great! I'm glad you got the order and it's so wonderful that he is using the safety restraint devices.

Congratulations...

 

[wileybunch]

Great!