Counseling during divorce process

[Dumbhubby]

What is the name of your state? PA
Has anyone here tried marriage counseling while filing for divorce in attempt to save marriage? Please any feedback, opinions, ect greatly appreciated

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

It only works if both are committed to wanting it to work. If the mind is made up to split up, then it won't work.

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

My ex only did it to mollify her fundamentalist parents. When the therapist pointed out she needed to stop seeing her boyfriend if she really wanted counseling to work, she stopped going. It only extends the hurt for the victim and assuages the guilt for the individual wanting the divorce.

 

[majomom1]

It only works if both are committed to wanting it to work. If the mind is made up to split up, then it won't work.

I agree, both have to be open to counseling. If there are kids involved it is definitely worth a shot, IMO.

It is even good for the co-parenting relationship if things don't work out. Either way, it really helps to learn productive communication.

 

[CJane]

I agree, both have to be open to counseling. If there are kids involved it is definitely worth a shot, IMO.

It is even good for the co-parenting relationship if things don't work out. Either way, it really helps to learn productive communication.

I'm going to disagree only slightly.

I think, once the divorce has been filed for... ESPECIALLY in DH's case which is rather contentious already... MARRIAGE counseling wouldn't be a good or productive use of time and money.

However. DIVORCE counseling or COPARENTING counseling or something of THAT nature might be beneficial.

But I really think, once the straw has broken the camel's back, marriage counseling is not the ticket. AND, in some states, any attempt at reconciliation will halt the divorce process.

 

[OhSweetness]

Cjane, Ma'am, I think dumbhubby would be doing a smart thing to try counseling. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And if he and his wife can get rid of some of the anger then it would be a very positive thing regardless of what you call it. And if he can work through some of his issues that can benefit the children and anyone else involved so he could become a happy productive member of society after his divorce if it happens. I do feel bad for dumbhubby though because he seems to have low self esteem -- who insults themselves by calling them self dumb?

 

[majomom1]

Cjane, Ma'am, I think dumbhubby would be doing a smart thing to try counseling. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And if he and his wife can get rid of some of the anger then it would be a very positive thing regardless of what you call it. And if he can work through some of his issues that can benefit the children and anyone else involved so he could become a happy productive member of society after his divorce if it happens. I do feel bad for dumbhubby though because he seems to have low self esteem -- who insults themselves by calling them self dumb?

Sweetness... you missed it. Cjane did suggest counseling, just not "marriage counseling". It may not be effective in this situation.

 

[Bali Hai]

Cjane, Ma'am, I think dumbhubby would be doing a smart thing to try counseling. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And if he and his wife can get rid of some of the anger then it would be a very positive thing regardless of what you call it. And if he can work through some of his issues that can benefit the children and anyone else involved so he could become a happy productive member of society after his divorce if it happens. I do feel bad for dumbhubby though because he seems to have low self esteem -- who insults themselves by calling them self dumb?

That is to give the appearance of low self esteem. Courts love that and he just may get some mileage out of it. After all, it works great in court for women who claim that their low self esteem is the fault of the husband!

 

[OhSweetness]

Sweetness... you missed it. Cjane did suggest counseling, just not "marriage counseling". It may not be effective in this situation.

But I was not disagreeing with her. I was agreeing. I was just trying to add to the conversation. I am sorry if she took my words badly. That was not my intention. I am just trying to get along with EVERYONE.