Can my son's father protest??

[DomsMom]

What is the name of your state? I live in Missouri.

I recently posted a question about adoption, but since my fiancee and I have decided to wait until my son is old enough to have a voice in the matter, I have a new question.

My fiancee is in the Marines, and we (my son and I) will be joining him on base within the year. Our first permant base will most likely be in North Carolina. My son's father is not currently involved with him, nor has he ever been. There is no visitation set by a court. By default (I believe) in the state of MO, I have full primary custody of my son. So does that mean that I can move with him, without having to answer to a court or anything? My sons father will most likely no contest anything, but I want to be prepared if he does. I would tell him that we are moving.

So how can I go about it? Is is best to go ahead and get something in the courts? Even if he says he will not contest? My sons father wants to sign his rights away, but I was told that he can not do that unless there is someone to adopt him in the wings. My fiancee and I will be married in 2 weeks, but we want to wait until my son has a voice of his own, to express his own opinion, for the adoption. I just dont want to get in trouble with the system if my son and I move, even though his father is not involved. I guess I just need to know what my rights are, to move us. I have tried to google it, but I cant find anything.

 

[StacyLM]

How old is your son?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? I live in Missouri.

I recently posted a question about adoption, but since my fiancee and I have decided to wait until my son is old enough to have a voice in the matter, I have a new question.

My fiancee is in the Marines, and we (my son and I) will be joining him on base within the year. Our first permant base will most likely be in North Carolina. My son's father is not currently involved with him, nor has he ever been. There is no visitation set by a court. By default (I believe) in the state of MO, I have full primary custody of my son. So does that mean that I can move with him, without having to answer to a court or anything? My sons father will most likely no contest anything, but I want to be prepared if he does. I would tell him that we are moving.

So how can I go about it? Is is best to go ahead and get something in the courts? Even if he says he will not contest? My sons father wants to sign his rights away, but I was told that he can not do that unless there is someone to adopt him in the wings. My fiancee and I will be married in 2 weeks, but we want to wait until my son has a voice of his own, to express his own opinion, for the adoption. I just dont want to get in trouble with the system if my son and I move, even though his father is not involved. I guess I just need to know what my rights are, to move us. I have tried to google it, but I cant find anything.

You either have to have written permission form the father or the court.

 

[DomsMom]

My son is 2 1/2. And I have to have permission even if nothing has ever been out on paper through a court?

 

[CJane]

You either have to have written permission form the father or the court.

Not accurate.

In Missouri, you only need to notify the father of the child if he has CUSTODY/VISITATION RIGHTS. This father does not.

Therefore, you are under no legal obligation to even tell him that you're moving.

He doesn't even have standing to fight the move via the courts. So he'd have to file a motion for custody/visitation/child support w/the courts AND have it entered as a custody order in order to gain the standing to file to stop the move.

 

[DomsMom]

Not accurate.

In Missouri, you only need to notify the father of the child if he has CUSTODY/VISITATION RIGHTS. This father does not.

Therefore, you are under no legal obligation to even tell him that you're moving.

He doesn't even have standing to fight the move via the courts. So he'd have to file a motion for custody/visitation/child support w/the courts AND have it entered as a custody order in order to gain the standing to file to stop the move.

Thank you for clearing that up for me. I know that his father would not contest unless he knew that it would make life harder on me. In all honestly he truly doesnt care (which is sad) unless its going to make it hard. But it would probably be better of me TO inform him of our moving to a different state, correct? That way if it ever does come down to going to court, I can say that I at least did that much. I have tried to speak to him about this in the past, when I knew eventually that it would come down to moving away, and he wont return my phone calls or emails. I just dont want to be frowned upon by the courts, when I have honestly tried to do everything in my power to establish a relationship between my son and his father, and let him know what is going on.

BTW an update on my last post about the adoption, the Marine Corp. said that they would take care of the adoption when we were ready to do it. From what I understand, all states have different laws on it and it is what ever state we are living in at the time, that we must go through.

 

[Just Blue]

Not accurate.

In Missouri, you only need to notify the father of the child if he has CUSTODY/VISITATION RIGHTS. This father does not.

Therefore, you are under no legal obligation to even tell him that you're moving.

He doesn't even have standing to fight the move via the courts. So he'd have to file a motion for custody/visitation/child support w/the courts AND have it entered as a custody order in order to gain the standing to file to stop the move.

Wow!! I'm sorry for my wrong advice......But WOW!! So an involved Dad who was never married to the mother and hasn't filed through the courts for custody doesn't even have STANDING?? WOW!

 

[CJane]

Wow!! I'm sorry for my wrong advice......But WOW!! So an involved Dad who was never married to the mother and hasn't filed through the courts for custody doesn't even have STANDING?? WOW!

Here's the statute:

Notice of a proposed relocation of the residence of the child, or any party entitled to custody or visitation of the child, shall be given in writing by certified mail, return receipt requested, to any party with custody or visitation rights. Absent exigent circumstances as determined by a court with jurisdiction, written notice shall be provided at least sixty days in advance of the proposed relocation. The notice of the proposed relocation shall include the following information:

(1) The intended new residence, including the specific address and mailing address, if known, and if not known, the city;

(2) The home telephone number of the new residence, if known;

(3) The date of the intended move or proposed relocation;

(4) A brief statement of the specific reasons for the proposed relocation of a child, if applicable; and

(5) A proposal for a revised schedule of custody or visitation with the child, if applicable.

There's a reason I rarely think it's a good idea for a father who WANTS to be involved to NOT also involve the courts.

 

[Just Blue]

Here's the statute:



There's a reason I rarely think it's a good idea for a father who WANTS to be involved to NOT also involve the courts.

I agree...But so many parents think to stay out of court is a good thing...

 

[CJane]

I agree...But so many parents think to stay out of court is a good thing...

I know. And sometimes it is.

It's just rare.