What is the name of your state? NC
First let me apologize if this does not break up into paragraphs. My laptop crashed and I am posting from a cell phone.
Background: Childrens dad and I separated in Sept of 2000. We had a separation agreement that was notorized and recorded but was not signed by a judge or court ordered in any way. Separation agreement stated we had joint physical custody. I was laid off from my job in February 2004. We did the 50/50 custody until March of 2005. We live in 2 different counties. Children (ages 13 in 2 weeks and 9 1/2) go to school in dad's district. In March 2005 I went to afterschool care to pick up children. The boys were not there. I called their dad frantic thinking they had been kidnapped or who knows what. He stated he had picked them up. He no longer wanted to do this 50/50 schedule because he thought it was affecting my oldest sons schooling (Oldest son has struggled since kindergarten. Had hearing loss, 2 sets of tubes, 6 years of speech therapy) Due to knowing my ex so well. I told him I would agree to his change on a short term basis with the agreement that if grades did not improve we would go back to 50/50. Sons grades did not improve. Also we had an agreement with school to put son in tutoring. In October of 2005 dad and his new wife decided they would put son in behavioral therapy (no behavior issues but new wifes dad was child psychologist) in lieu of therapy. Not only was I not consulted but our son continues to fail in school. My ex would not go back to our agreement so in January 2006 I filed for custody. I have a few questions as I have court in 5 days.
1) I was told by my first attorney (had to get a new attorney because dad rec'd a change of venue) that my separation agreement is not worth the paper it is written on because it was not court ordered. Will a judge really ignore this?
2) My ex has a temp order that he rec'd with the change of venue that has given him more time per week (judge ordered status quo based on what ex said but I have an email from him proving he lied about status quo) so now he has become this controlling dad who tries to limit my contact with the children. He says that it is his time with the kids and I should not call them nor see them at school because it is 'his custodial day'. He won't even let me schedule appointments for them and says he will 'try' to work with my schedule. He bullies me and has threatened to tell them that it is my fault if they miss out on fun things with him during my weekends. He is constantly trying to take away my time. His wife told my oldest that he needed to ask his dad before I could chaperone a school field trip...she didn't know I was on the phone with my son when she was having this conversation with him. How much weight does the judge give thiÅŸ(him trying to limit my communication and time with the kids)
3) Here is my biggest struggle in my case. My oldest really wants to go to school where I live. That is the main reason I filed to begin with. If he was doing well in school I would have never tried to change it. My son also wants to join my fire department (I am a volunteer ff) thru the boy scouts. He will be eligible to apply in August. I am also a paramedic. I work 24 hour shifts. I would be working either 1 or 2 days a week. My parents would be here when the kids get out of school. My parents would also stay the night. They would be available to assist with homework and would maintain the same structure at home as I will have on days I am off. I will have 3 or 4 days a week when I am not working and will be able to have my son go to tutoring. I have yet to find someone who works 24 hour shifts and has fought for custody. Will my son's poor grades and the fact that my parents will be here afterschool b enough to offset my shift work? My ex works a day job and is remarried and they make lots of money!!
4) I just found out this week that dad decided to save a few dollars on the family insurance and picked the cheapest policy available. My children are now basically uninsured because they have already maxed out the family coverage. Ex and his wife make about 180k a year and picked the worst policy possible to save money (the only reason I mention his wife is because she is also on this insurance policy) They go on many vacations and have a house cleaner. Will the judge look negatively at how he prioritizes? Oh and I have been asking for 3 years for an insurance card for the kids and still don't have one. I don't even know who his insuance is with. (He is really controlling!)
I am not trying to be a b&#ch. I just want to reverse the current temp order so I can help my son before he gets to high school. He is way behind on reading and writing. Not to mention he is extremely bad about keeping me informed of extracurricular events and such. He says he is 'forgetful' I have always kept him very informed and even invite him to our church for special events involving the children. How much is my shift work going to hurt my case? Does there need to be a change in circumstances when we have never had a court order except the temp order? Will it look bad that he filed false contempt charges against mèand then dismissed them the day before court? We are both good people overall. Sorry this was so long!!What is the name of your state?
First let me apologize if this does not break up into paragraphs. My laptop crashed and I am posting from a cell phone.
Background: Childrens dad and I separated in Sept of 2000. We had a separation agreement that was notorized and recorded but was not signed by a judge or court ordered in any way. Separation agreement stated we had joint physical custody. I was laid off from my job in February 2004. We did the 50/50 custody until March of 2005. We live in 2 different counties. Children (ages 13 in 2 weeks and 9 1/2) go to school in dad's district. In March 2005 I went to afterschool care to pick up children. The boys were not there. I called their dad frantic thinking they had been kidnapped or who knows what. He stated he had picked them up. He no longer wanted to do this 50/50 schedule because he thought it was affecting my oldest sons schooling (Oldest son has struggled since kindergarten. Had hearing loss, 2 sets of tubes, 6 years of speech therapy) Due to knowing my ex so well. I told him I would agree to his change on a short term basis with the agreement that if grades did not improve we would go back to 50/50. Sons grades did not improve. Also we had an agreement with school to put son in tutoring. In October of 2005 dad and his new wife decided they would put son in behavioral therapy (no behavior issues but new wifes dad was child psychologist) in lieu of therapy. Not only was I not consulted but our son continues to fail in school. My ex would not go back to our agreement so in January 2006 I filed for custody. I have a few questions as I have court in 5 days.
1) I was told by my first attorney (had to get a new attorney because dad rec'd a change of venue) that my separation agreement is not worth the paper it is written on because it was not court ordered. Will a judge really ignore this?
2) My ex has a temp order that he rec'd with the change of venue that has given him more time per week (judge ordered status quo based on what ex said but I have an email from him proving he lied about status quo) so now he has become this controlling dad who tries to limit my contact with the children. He says that it is his time with the kids and I should not call them nor see them at school because it is 'his custodial day'. He won't even let me schedule appointments for them and says he will 'try' to work with my schedule. He bullies me and has threatened to tell them that it is my fault if they miss out on fun things with him during my weekends. He is constantly trying to take away my time. His wife told my oldest that he needed to ask his dad before I could chaperone a school field trip...she didn't know I was on the phone with my son when she was having this conversation with him. How much weight does the judge give thiÅŸ(him trying to limit my communication and time with the kids)
3) Here is my biggest struggle in my case. My oldest really wants to go to school where I live. That is the main reason I filed to begin with. If he was doing well in school I would have never tried to change it. My son also wants to join my fire department (I am a volunteer ff) thru the boy scouts. He will be eligible to apply in August. I am also a paramedic. I work 24 hour shifts. I would be working either 1 or 2 days a week. My parents would be here when the kids get out of school. My parents would also stay the night. They would be available to assist with homework and would maintain the same structure at home as I will have on days I am off. I will have 3 or 4 days a week when I am not working and will be able to have my son go to tutoring. I have yet to find someone who works 24 hour shifts and has fought for custody. Will my son's poor grades and the fact that my parents will be here afterschool b enough to offset my shift work? My ex works a day job and is remarried and they make lots of money!!
4) I just found out this week that dad decided to save a few dollars on the family insurance and picked the cheapest policy available. My children are now basically uninsured because they have already maxed out the family coverage. Ex and his wife make about 180k a year and picked the worst policy possible to save money (the only reason I mention his wife is because she is also on this insurance policy) They go on many vacations and have a house cleaner. Will the judge look negatively at how he prioritizes? Oh and I have been asking for 3 years for an insurance card for the kids and still don't have one. I don't even know who his insuance is with. (He is really controlling!)
I am not trying to be a b&#ch. I just want to reverse the current temp order so I can help my son before he gets to high school. He is way behind on reading and writing. Not to mention he is extremely bad about keeping me informed of extracurricular events and such. He says he is 'forgetful' I have always kept him very informed and even invite him to our church for special events involving the children. How much is my shift work going to hurt my case? Does there need to be a change in circumstances when we have never had a court order except the temp order? Will it look bad that he filed false contempt charges against mèand then dismissed them the day before court? We are both good people overall. Sorry this was so long!!What is the name of your state?
