Visitation issues

[CourtClerk]

Basically I'm up the creek without a paddle...MEN always have choices weather right or wrong, usually wrong choices. Women get stomped on always, oh well. Guess I have to just deal until either one of us die.

You have choices too. You made the choice to have sex, you made the choice to make a baby with this person, you made the choice to be custodial parent.

As Silverplum as already so eloquently put it... grow up.

 

[penelope10]

OP doesn't HAVE to alter her plans. Make a backup plan for family, friends or an old fashioned babysitter so you can still keep the plans.

Agree with that and also agreed with the above comment to document missed visitation or changed visitation.

Went through the same thing with my ex for about six years. Eventually he remarried and that has settled him down. The most important thing is to make the children available when he is supposed to have them and if he chooses not to exercise his rights it's his choice.

Having a backup plan also helps alleviate stress for you and most importantly the kids. I always have a backup plan and if not I change my plans. I never make a fuss because I don't ever want my daughter to feel that taking care of her is an inconvenience.

Don't get me wrong, there were times when I felt p.oed at the ex for being a brat and not wanting to spend time with our daughter. I just kept it to myself around her.

And I'm lucky because I have a wonderful set of friends who helped me out when I had an obligations I could not get out of. (Like all day school during the weekend).

 

[alonzobaby32]

That's not entirely true.

He didn't have the CHOICE for you to maintain the pregnancy. And he didn't have a CHOICE about whether or not, once adjudicated as the father, he was ordered to pay support. And he didn't have a CHOICE about being the NCP ... and won't ever have that CHOICE. And, if you die, he'll have no CHOICE but to try and figure out how to be a father.

You got to make all of the CHOICES up til baby was born. And now you have to live with them and with him and with court involvement for the next 18 or so years. That's all about CHOICES that YOU MADE.

You're right they are CHOICES I MADE but that doesn't change the fact that he's our child's father and that becuase he is the father, he has responsibilities as well.

But thanks for the advice, I don't want to drag this threat out, I will continue to forster the relationship, that's it

Take care all of you

 

[majomom1]

Basically I'm up the creek without a paddle...MEN always have choices weather right or wrong, usually wrong choices. Women get stomped on always, oh well. Guess I have to just deal until either one of us die.

Careful. We have a few men here that are supreme Dad's... some of us just chose the wrong man.

The bright side is - it isn't until one of you die - only until the kids are 18 and grown.

 

[alonzobaby32]

You have choices too. You made the choice to have sex, you made the choice to make a baby with this person, you made the choice to be custodial parent.

As Silverplum as already so eloquently put it... grow up.

sure thing court clerk, this comment will not piss me off as I see some people up here get p-oded about what some of you guys say...hey your opinion and you're entitled to it.

Have a great day

 

[Silverplum]

sure thing

You sure do a lot of complaining about Dad, but you aren't acting like a grownup who owns her choices and takes responsibility, either.

To make such a sexist, snotty, across-the-board remark as you did is plain stupid. You're trashing your credibility. But you go ahead. You're a woman!

 

[CourtClerk]

sure thing court clerk, this comment will not piss me off as I see some people up here get p-oded about what some of you guys say...hey your opinion and you're entitled to it.

Have a great day

Umm.. it wasn't meant to piss you off, nor was it my opinion.

Fact: You had and made choices
Fact: You had sex
Fact: You made a baby
Fact: Due to your actions, you chose this person to be the father of said child
Fact: When you choose the action, you choose the consequence.

Fact: The consequence of your action is that everything will not go your way.

Fact: Visitation is a legal right, not a legal obligation.

 

[majomom1]

sure thing court clerk, this comment will not piss me off as I see some people up here get p-oded about what some of you guys say...hey your opinion and you're entitled to it.

Have a great day

That phrase ticks me off too, expecially when I hear it from my ex. Unfortunately, like it or not, it is true. We have all been "stuck" with this kind of bs - so we do get it. The only question is what are you going to do about it. Stay mad? or move past it.

Chances are, if you live your life, make and keep your plans - he will eventually grow up. In the meantime you can enjoy life!

 

[alonzobaby32]

You sure do a lot of complaining about Dad, but you aren't acting like a grownup who owns her choices and takes responsibility, either.

To make such a sexist, snotty, across-the-board remark as you did is plain stupid. You're trashing your credibility. But you go ahead. You're a woman!

Okey dokey, you're right

Have a good one

 

[alonzobaby32]

Umm.. it wasn't meant to piss you off, nor was it my opinion.

Fact: You had and made choices
Fact: You had sex
Fact: You made a baby
Fact: Due to your actions, you chose this person to be the father of said child
Fact: When you choose the action, you choose the consequence.

Fact: The consequence of your action is that everything will not go your way.

Fact: Visitation is a legal right, not a legal obligation.

Okey dokey you have a good one as well....not gonna keep arguing about it. you said what you needed to say and that's all good with me.

Have a good one

 

[Isis1]

The NCP that i deal with was late a few times himself and his being late did interfere with my own obligations. So this is what i did. He is supposed to pick up the kids from school on his Wednesdays for overnights. 6yr gets off at 11:40am, the 10yr gets off at 2pm. I have a court ordered parenting class at 2:15pm-2:30pm on Wednesdays. he wasn't picking up the 6yr old until 3 because it was inconvenient to come at two different times. and he didn't get off of work until 2pm anyway so he wouldn't make it until 3pm to pick up both children. So i let him know in writing of my schedule with the parenting classes. Either he shows up on time, or he can wait till 5pm when we all come home. First week i did this, he was pissed. Next week and the week after, he showed up on time to pick up BOTH children. so no, you don't have to sit around waiting for the father to show up. if he throws a fit about it, simply take it to court and have the order modified to accomodate him being 15-30 minutes late requiring him to call if he is one minute late to verify how long he will be. and bring copies of any expenses you may have incurred with his tardiness.

btw, this is not legal advise at all and in no w way am i saying to do this. it just so happened that this worked in my favor. a really PO'd NCP could take me to court for contempt but it was a risk i presonally took. not bright from a legal standpoint, but it was the only other option without having to take it to the court before our already established continued hearing in June.

 

[Ohiogal]

Careful. We have a few men here that are supreme Dad's... some of us just chose the wrong man.

The bright side is - it isn't until one of you die - only until the kids are 18 and grown.

Actually it is until death. Because they will have to see each other at high school graduation, weddings, grandkids birthday parties, college graduations.... should I continue? Or will parents make their adult children choose?

 

[majomom1]

Actually it is until death. Because they will have to see each other at high school graduation, weddings, grandkids birthday parties, college graduations.... should I continue? Or will parents make their adult children choose?

True, but she won't have to worry about cancelling her plans because the ex doesn't show- hopefully she can manage that before 18, or he grows up too!!!