Well, its not surprizing that an attorney would not want to do something that might be improper, legally. However, it also sounds like this attorney really doesn't understand much about how insurance in general, works, or doesn't understand that dad's insurance company clearly understands what dad is attempting to do and is perfectly ok with it. Therefore no manipulation is going on.
Has dad tried actually TALKING to mom? Not letters, not emails but a face to face conversation? If he can get mom to understand that there is no insurance "manipulation" or game playing going on, then maybe she can get her attorney on board as well.
True, an attorney would not want to do something improper. My entirely biased opinion is that this is not actually what's going on here, but we all know my opinion doesn't really count
. Everyone involved has no reason not to understand that there is no manipulation involved - they are just not willing to make this happen. I'm struggling to say this without assigning them motives. In the history I've seen between them, there has never, ever been a single time that dad asked for something without it either being denied or changed so it no longer represents what he asked for. (They split holidays, no definition of what that means. So, dad will ask for Christmas day at 2pm, and mom will say - oh, not enough time, so and so is coming to town. She can come at 4pm. Every holiday, every day off from school. Every request for information. The only time she ever gave him what he asked for was the one time he didn't ask for it. The child knew there was a social activity sponsored by the church, and she, w/o talking to dad, mentioned it to mom.
Mom said yes, and even offered to drop the child off earlier than necessary and to pick the child up later than necessary. Cynically enough, we found out later that she had a date with her now husband, so the event with dad gave her something she needed. But all of that is neither here nor there. He recently sent a letter with six requests regarding various matters, at least one of which had previously been offered by mom, and all six requests were denied. Cooperation does not exist here.)
Dad has explained this insurance stuff six times to Sunday. Mom has his insurance card, and with it, clearly has the insurance company's phone number. She has called them previously about their daughter's benefits - she's apparently chosen not to do so this time. Dad has not spoken to mom directly regarding it - they are in the middle of an eight month long visitation dispute, so currently, there is no shot in you know what that mom would answer the phone if dad called. Additionally, mom has not consented to speak verbally to dad, outside of an emergency, in years. She simply refuses to answer the phone.
The concept of the conference call between the attorney and the insurance company seems to be a good one. I'll mention it to dad, but I think he's decided to let things lie until someone needs him to do something. He's been arguing this matter since last February. The doctors have indicated that without the treatment, things will be fine, and even with, not all the issues will be corrected. So, the child won't be hurt, and he can argue over the payment later if necessary if mom goes forward with the treatment without his consent.