Just an update and maybe get some opinions

[SnS76]

What is the name of your state? NH

Some of you may remember the situation I have going on at present. Just a brief update on what I have already posted about.
Dad and I went for a temp hearing back in Oct, the Master ordered child support and a limited visitation schedule to reintroduce them after a two year absence. The orders became official in Dec. During this hearing Dad said I was the cause of him not seeing the children, that I kept him away and pretty much did a poor me act in front of the Master.

Well, since we have gotten the orders, which basically was he was 'allowed' to see the children one weekend day a week, from 10am til 5pm, he hasn't bothered once. There has been no contact at all. He was also given some hours on Christmas day and New year's as well, and still nothing.

Because of the things he said in court, the Master thought it best to appoint a GAL to our case. I have met with her and she has met with the children and myself as well a few times since then. Needless to say, Dad has missed an appt he had scheduled and has only had two telephone conversations with her since. Mostly with excuses on why he didn't show up for his appt or even bothering to call to say he couldn't make it.

We have a follow-up date now set for March 26th. This was made after we went back to court in the beginning of Jan only to have it continued because the orders weren't sent out til very late after our first hearing. While we were there that time the Master did ask how the visitation was going and when he found out it wasn't, Dad had a bunch of lame excuses why.

My attorney now wants to modify the parenting plan and basically have it set up that if he wants to see the children, he has to call and set up a time and day. Basically leaving it in my hands if it can/will happen. Although I really hate how this has gone, I have to admit, I almost expected it, I think it might be for the best so the children aren't continuely disappointed when every weekend rolls by w/o a word from Dad.

The attorney is hopeful that the GAL will support this request based on the fact that she herself has said she can see that he just can't be bothered.

I'm unsure at this point how the court will react to something so drastic.
Is it a far stretch to think they would approve this even seeing how he has had an order in hand that says he can see them, regardless of what I say and he still hasn't ? I know the courts are all for keeping the relationship strong between the NCP and the children, but will they continue to make my children get their hopes up for someone who just can't be bothered to even call or visit them ??

Just wanted some opinions on what 'could' happen from here

thanks

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? NH

Some of you may remember the situation I have going on at present. Just a brief update on what I have already posted about.
Dad and I went for a temp hearing back in Oct, the Master ordered child support and a limited visitation schedule to reintroduce them after a two year absence. The orders became official in Dec. During this hearing Dad said I was the cause of him not seeing the children, that I kept him away and pretty much did a poor me act in front of the Master.

Well, since we have gotten the orders, which basically was he was 'allowed' to see the children one weekend day a week, from 10am til 5pm, he hasn't bothered once. There has been no contact at all. He was also given some hours on Christmas day and New year's as well, and still nothing.

Because of the things he said in court, the Master thought it best to appoint a GAL to our case. I have met with her and she has met with the children and myself as well a few times since then. Needless to say, Dad has missed an appt he had scheduled and has only had two telephone conversations with her since. Mostly with excuses on why he didn't show up for his appt or even bothering to call to say he couldn't make it.

We have a follow-up date now set for March 26th. This was made after we went back to court in the beginning of Jan only to have it continued because the orders weren't sent out til very late after our first hearing. While we were there that time the Master did ask how the visitation was going and when he found out it wasn't, Dad had a bunch of lame excuses why.

My attorney now wants to modify the parenting plan and basically have it set up that if he wants to see the children, he has to call and set up a time and day. Basically leaving it in my hands if it can/will happen. Although I really hate how this has gone, I have to admit, I almost expected it, I think it might be for the best so the children aren't continuely disappointed when every weekend rolls by w/o a word from Dad.

The attorney is hopeful that the GAL will support this request based on the fact that she herself has said she can see that he just can't be bothered.

I'm unsure at this point how the court will react to something so drastic.
Is it a far stretch to think they would approve this even seeing how he has had an order in hand that says he can see them, regardless of what I say and he still hasn't ? I know the courts are all for keeping the relationship strong between the NCP and the children, but will they continue to make my children get their hopes up for someone who just can't be bothered to even call or visit them ??

Just wanted some opinions on what 'could' happen from here

thanks

It is quite possible that the judge would either set up some sort of "agreed" plan for visitation. Where dad has to call and get your agreement to a time and date. However, it more likely that the judge would set up some sort of plan where dad keeps his current visitation, but has to notify you some specific amount of time in advance (like 48 hours) that he is actually going to exercise his time, or he forfeits it.

 

[45Frank]

Wow I had my X-wife do the samething, went back to court twice and she cried I wouldn't let her see the kids, she just never showed. 2nd time the Judge ordered that I meet her at the local Police station as to make sure I was there. Well I had to go thru this for nearly two years till I left the state. The councelor that we where going to said that this boardered on child cruelty. In two years she showed up less the three times maybe.
Good luck

 

[SnS76]

Thanks Ld
what do you think the chances would be of it going to total opposite way ?
I know he's going to try to say that it's just 'too much trouble' because we live about 45 mins apart. That was one of the excuses he used when he was asked why he didn't follow thru with any visits. He said because of the distance, it would be alot of work to drive all that way (although it says we're to meet halfway) pick them up, bring them to his house (the visitation states that Dad and children are supposed to spend time alone together w/o any other parties, so unless he could guarantee they would be alone, that wouldnt be an option) just for four hours (again, he didnt read) just to have to bring them all the way back again.
I'm thinking he had a little bit of a hard time reading exactly what his reintroduction visits entitled.

When asked at the temp hearing he stated 'every other weekend would be good for him' and i have a feeling he is going to say that would be easier for him.

Is there a chance that the Master might go for it ? Even seeing how he hasn't tried to do a thing since the temp order was in place ?

I know there isn't a crystal ball to give me the answers I need, i just want to prepare myself for the chance it could happen

 

[SnS76]

The councelor that we where going to said that this boardered on child cruelty.

The GAL actually said something along the same lines. I can see her frustration level is pretty high when it comes to him. She said it's pretty obvious where his priorities are and these children aren't anywhere near the top of his list.

I would honestly rather him say, look, this is how it is, this is how it's going to be and that's pretty much it for now. At least that way we all know and the children can work on dealing with that, instead of listening to my daughter ask me every weekend if this is the one where she gets to see her Dad.

The situation really sucks, but if we know, I can help them move past it.

Thanks for the well wishes

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks Ld
what do you think the chances would be of it going to total opposite way ?
I know he's going to try to say that it's just 'too much trouble' because we live about 45 mins apart. That was one of the excuses he used when he was asked why he didn't follow thru with any visits. He said because of the distance, it would be alot of work to drive all that way (although it says we're to meet halfway) pick them up, bring them to his house (the visitation states that Dad and children are supposed to spend time alone together w/o any other parties, so unless he could guarantee they would be alone, that wouldnt be an option) just for four hours (again, he didnt read) just to have to bring them all the way back again.
I'm thinking he had a little bit of a hard time reading exactly what his reintroduction visits entitled.

When asked at the temp hearing he stated 'every other weekend would be good for him' and i have a feeling he is going to say that would be easier for him.

Is there a chance that the Master might go for it ? Even seeing how he hasn't tried to do a thing since the temp order was in place ?

I know there isn't a crystal ball to give me the answers I need, i just want to prepare myself for the chance it could happen

I honestly can't see the magistrate giving him every other weekend, when he hasn't attempted one single visit. Hopefully the GAL will support what your attorney wants to do.