Parenting Time vs. Vacation Time

[effort17]

What is the name of your state? Minnesota

My ex-wife seems to not know the definition of "parenting time" and "vacation time".

In our J&D she is alloted 2-weeks vacation and I allotted 3-weeks.

She wants to go on vacation with the kids over spring break 3-15 to 3-21. She asked me if she could take the kids 3-21 which is my day.

I said sure, and then I said why don't I take the kids 3-15 to 3-20 her not knowing I knew she really wanted the whole week.

She came back and said that she was going on vacation those days to Michigan. I said oh so you want to use 7 days of vacation?

She said no, just one day of vacation 3-21.

She said the other day's are duing her normal parenting time and does not consider those vacation days.

Even though the definition of vacation accord. to Webster says...blah blah vacation is consider "away from home".

I am at an unfair advantage because I have the kids about 42% of the time. So really in her thought process she realistically has weeks and weeks of alloted vacation. And even said I can take the kids weherever I want during my paretning time.

Your thoughts are appreciated!What is the name of your state?

 

[Ohiogal]

Whose time is spring break? How is the vacation portion worded in your court order? I don't care what Webster's time is. The courts define vacation diffferently.

 

[effort17]

Spring break is not defined in our J&D.
It also states in our J&D the following which I forgot to mention: "Holiday Time and Vacation time take presedence over the normal 4 week parenting time"

 

[LdiJ]

Spring break is not defined in our J&D.
It also states in our J&D the following which I forgot to mention: "Holiday Time and Vacation time take presedence over the normal 4 week parenting time"

You didn't answer OG's question. If this is mom's spring break, and/or spring break is not defined and the spring break period is mom's normal time, then NO, the period of spring break does NOT count against her "vacation time". Holidays are separate from vacation time.

 

[effort17]

Spring Break as the kids are off school. Spring break was not part of the holiday schedule as to who gets the kids every year for school Spring Break.

Again, Holiday time and Vacation time take precedence over the normal 4 week parenting time.

My ex is calling this a "vacation" with the kids and going to Michigan over their spring break and since this falls with her "normal" parenting time she is thinking none of her 2 weeks (14 days) should be used up as vacation day's except for the one day she wants to have the kids (3-21) which is my normal parenting time.

What I am telling her is if you want a vacation from 3-15 to 3-21 she will be using 7 days of vacation plain and simple. Becuase the the J&D specifically state "Holiday time and Vacation time take precedence over the normal 4 week parenting time schedule"

 

[TheGeekess]

And it doesn't matter a hill of beans if she's going anywhere on her time. Be the bigger person and give the lady one day.... Sheesh!

 

[effort17]

oh for pete sakes....the bigger person....if you only knew how big of a person I have been. I have spent $80,000 on this divorce and I am paying 100% of my ex's expenses because she refuses to work....be the bigger person? My ex needs to grow up and act like a responsible adult and stop relying on everyone else to do everything for her! Even her lawyer just wanted her to go away...it was nightmare year. And still continues!

 

[CJane]

It is NOT vacation time just because she's leaving town.

Either let her 'have' that one day or not. But no one is going to agree with you that the 6 days of HER time counts as vacation.

 

[LdiJ]

Spring Break as the kids are off school. Spring break was not part of the holiday schedule as to who gets the kids every year for school Spring Break.

Again, Holiday time and Vacation time take precedence over the normal 4 week parenting time.

My ex is calling this a "vacation" with the kids and going to Michigan over their spring break and since this falls with her "normal" parenting time she is thinking none of her 2 weeks (14 days) should be used up as vacation day's except for the one day she wants to have the kids (3-21) which is my normal parenting time.

What I am telling her is if you want a vacation from 3-15 to 3-21 she will be using 7 days of vacation plain and simple. Becuase the the J&D specifically state "Holiday time and Vacation time take precedence over the normal 4 week parenting time schedule"

Dude, if its her parenting time she can do whatever she wants...just as you can during your parenting time. What is your goal here? It honestly sounds to me like the two of you have a schedule that allows both of you quite a bit of freedom. Why is this even an issue?

Why do you care if mom spends her parenting time in MI? How does this harm you? What are you leaving out, if anything?

 

[CJane]

Dude, if its her parenting time she can do whatever she wants...just as you can during your parenting time. What is your goal here? It honestly sounds to me like the two of you have a schedule that allows both of you quite a bit of freedom. Why is this even an issue?

Why do you care if mom spends her parenting time in MI? How does this harm you? What are you leaving out, if anything?

If I had to guess?

He's pissed because she's taking the kids out of town and asked if she could have ONE of his days. HE can't take them out of town for Spring Break because it's HER time... so he wants to PUNISH her.

 

[effort17]

I don't care if she goes to Michigan thats not my point. I am expecting the J&D to be followed as to what it says.

There is a legal difference between parenting time and vacation time otherwise why have
the verbage in the J&D.

Seriously, did most of you fall off the same turnip truck or what? Come on people...everything I have read here is about "who cares', "what's the big deal", "let her have the day".

How about "why isn't she following the J&D?" "you should be concerned that if she is able to buck the system with this it will enable her to buck the system in other areas".

She already tried to buck the system by going to support and collections while she agreed in the J&D to waiving her rights to the support and collections. She can only use the services of support and collections if I am 30 day's late on a payment and I have not been. So they closed the case and told her the way the J&D is written you can not until he (me) is late on a payment.

I don't think any of us should tolerate breaking a legal binding document! And I applaude those that stand up for their legal rights.

I don't think this is the right site for educated professional legal advise at all.

Most of you can enjoy having people walk all over you...I on the other won't allow it! And so far I am right. I just wanted to get a little advise but obviously this is the wrong place.

Good Luck All!

 

[CJane]

I don't care if she goes to Michigan thats not my point. I am expecting the J&D to be followed as to what it says.

There is a legal difference between parenting time and vacation time otherwise why have
the verbage in the J&D.

You're right. There IS a difference. And MOM is having the kids on her PARENTING TIME as outlined in the order.

You're being an idiot.

Enjoy.

 

[TheGeekess]

How about "why isn't she following the J&D?" "you should be concerned that if she is able to buck the system with this it will enable her to buck the system in other areas".

She already tried to buck the system by going to support and collections while she agreed in the J&D to waiving her rights to the support and collections. She can only use the services of support and collections if I am 30 day's late on a payment and I have not been. So they closed the case and told her the way the J&D is written you can not until he (me) is late on a payment.

Sounds like she didn't get to 'buck the system'.

Sounds like you're angry because you had to pay $80K to get divorced. You really need to check your emotions at the door....

 

[Isis1]

wouldn't technically any scheduled uninteruppted parenting time be considered as a vacation time with that parent anyway?

all technicality the poster is being an *beep* about this one day, but legally he doesn't have to consent to giving up his parenting time, does he? and if she does decide to use her vacation time, i still see it as only one day is being used for her vacation time anyway?

is there anything in the order that requires a written notice before the vacation time being sent to notify the other parent of their requested vacation time? with a time frame to notify the vacationing parent of any scheduled conflicts?

honesty, having been a NCP in the past, if the kids are going to have fun on that one day, then by golly let then go with their mother that one day. don't sit and stew over "if she's not going ot do it for me, i won't do it for her" it only causes you an ulcer. i give my kids dad a lot of leeway when he needs to change his schedule. but every single time i would have liked to have that same courtesy i am always denied and the kids are told i don't love them. that's how he lost custody in the first place.

 

[Zephyr]

I will entertain this for a few moments- OP can you please type in the exact wording of your order, the sections stating parenting time (who gets the kids when), the section for holidays, and the section for vacation