Proof of over-stepping step in court

[Calimom3]

What is the name of your state? CA

I have been reading the threads in which an over-stepping step-parent has been told to back off, or it could cost the CP custody.

How would you go about proving this in court? I have an over stepping step myself, signing papers for our children as their mother, or going to Dr. appointments, even though EH and I have joint physical and legal custody. What to the court would be considered overstepping and what kind of proof would you have to show?

 

[Ohiogal]

Copies of the doctor's forms where step has signed or is listed instead of parent. Copies of school records where step is listed and parent is not. References to step making decisions.

 

[Calimom3]

Thanks for the info....

Just wanted to make sure I was collecting the correct information.

 

[seniorjudge]

Just wanted to make sure I was collecting the correct information.

If your ex is an idiot and the new spouse is a good person, you will have great difficulty proving "overstepping".

 

[Calimom3]

Well.....

If your ex is an idiot and the new spouse is a good person, you will have great difficulty proving "overstepping".

Would you mind giving me an example? I have paperwork from our children's school, emergency forms, that she has completed and signed and while I am listed as mother, she has written that I am to be contacted last. Is this something that would point to overstepping, or just a petty issue?

(As background, my EH and I share joint legal/physical custody. This was a move away case, (we live about 50 miles apart) The children go to school in his area during the week, and are with me during the weekends and summer, both Dad and I work about 45 minutes away from our children's school)

I am trying to run the correct balance of what is important and what is petty like volunteering to go on field trips because I am unable vs. maybe not being notified of field trips in advance so that I can re-arrange my schedule to participate or not being notified when it comes to emergency issues at school.

 

[seniorjudge]

What, exactly, is it that you want to happen here (other than stopping step-ma from overstepping)?

 

[penelope10]

Would you mind giving me an example? I have paperwork from our children's school, emergency forms, that she has completed and signed and while I am listed as mother, she has written that I am to be contacted last. Is this something that would point to overstepping, or just a petty issue?

(As background, my EH and I share joint legal/physical custody. This was a move away case, (we live about 50 miles apart) The children go to school in his area during the week, and are with me during the weekends and summer, both Dad and I work about 45 minutes away from our children's school)

I am trying to run the correct balance of what is important and what is petty like volunteering to go on field trips because I am unable vs. maybe not being notified of field trips in advance so that I can re-arrange my schedule to participate or not being notified when it comes to emergency issues at school.

Does step mom work also---if not than realistically if Dad has custody during the week ,and both you and he work 45 minutes from school, she may be the one in the position to get to the school the fastest if one of the kiddos is ill.


Our school forms have three different areas on it:

1. Info for the child's primary residence.

2. Secondary Residence info.

3. Emergency contact info.

The school would first contact me, next the ex, and after that any emergency contacts....

 

[Just Blue]

What, exactly, is it that you want to happen here (other than stopping step-ma from overstepping)?

One would think that THAT would be the objective...Stop Step-mother from overstepping before it interferes with the MOTHERS relationship with the children or creates an issue with the PARENTS co-parenting.

Am I correct in my ASSumptions Calimom??

 

[Isis1]

Does step mom work also---if not than realistically if Dad has custody during the week ,and both you and he work 45 minutes from school, she may be the one in the position to get to the school the fastest if one of the kiddos is ill.


Our school forms have three different areas on it:

1. Info for the child's primary residence.

2. Secondary Residence info.

3. Emergency contact info.

The school would first contact me, next the ex, and after that any emergency contacts....

that was how i understood it as well. same went for my school forms. when they did a printout of children's information, I was listed, then the father. emergency contacts didn't even show up on that form. same as my husband is listed as an emergency contact.

 

[seniorjudge]

One would think that THAT would be the objective...Stop Step-mother from overstepping before it interferes with the MOTHERS relationship with the children or creates an issue with the PARENTS co-parenting.

Am I correct in my ASSumptions Calimom??

If you are correct, then I would like to know how that is done.

There are a few oversteppers around here (and I am not just talking about step-parents) that I want to use that control method on.

 

[penelope10]

One would think that THAT would be the objective...Stop Step-mother from overstepping before it interferes with the MOTHERS relationship with the children or creates an issue with the PARENTS co-parenting.

Am I correct in my ASSumptions Calimom??

In my child's doctors office I had to sign a new HIPPA form plus another form that asked who were the legal guardians of the child. A step parent does not have legal standing and therefore should not be making medical decisions for the child. Your ex husband can, and you can, but she legally has no right to do this. I think getting a copy of the medical records would be very important and you might want to give the doc's office a head's up that step mom does not have the legal right to make medical decisions regarding you and the ex's children.

 

[StampGirl]

If Step-mom is signing as "parent" on school forms etc then YES that is over-stepping.

The State of Calif takes a very dim view of step parents who do this sort of thing. Custody has been known to change quickly in cases like this.

I do wonder if the OP is seeking a custody change and is planning on using this "over-stepping" issue as a jumpstart.

 

[Just Blue]

If you are correct, then I would like to know how that is done.
There are a few oversteppers around here (and I am not just talking about step-parents) that I want to use that control method on.

Come on SJ...It is done by court order!!

 

[Calimom3]

Exactly!

One would think that THAT would be the objective...Stop Step-mother from overstepping before it interferes with the MOTHERS relationship with the children or creates an issue with the PARENTS co-parenting.

Am I correct in my ASSumptions Calimom??

I have tried to speak with EH about this like and adult, to no avail...... what are my next options??

 

[casa]

Would you mind giving me an example? I have paperwork from our children's school, emergency forms, that she has completed and signed and while I am listed as mother, she has written that I am to be contacted last. Is this something that would point to overstepping, or just a petty issue?

(As background, my EH and I share joint legal/physical custody. This was a move away case, (we live about 50 miles apart) The children go to school in his area during the week, and are with me during the weekends and summer, both Dad and I work about 45 minutes away from our children's school)

I am trying to run the correct balance of what is important and what is petty like volunteering to go on field trips because I am unable vs. maybe not being notified of field trips in advance so that I can re-arrange my schedule to participate or not being notified when it comes to emergency issues at school.

It makes sense the school should contact the parent the child resides with during the school week.

You are still on the Emergency Contact list.

You can request the school give you their website link, or to mail you bulletins, newsletters, etc. to your address as well as Dad's.

Your name was correctly listed as Mother....so I do not believe you'd have a case for 3rd Party or Parental Interference.