Proof of over-stepping step in court

[Calimom3]

I have requested a copy of the medical records....

In my child's doctors office I had to sign a new HIPPA form plus another form that asked who were the legal guardians of the child. A step parent does not have legal standing and therefore should not be making medical decisions for the child. Your ex husband can, and you can, but she legally has no right to do this. I think getting a copy of the medical records would be very important and you might want to give the doc's office a head's up that step mom does not have the legal right to make medical decisions regarding you and the ex's children.

Because for the 2nd time, he has allowed his fiancee to take our children to the annual check up. (we had a "discussion" about this last year, when I found out through my insurance company that she took them to their annual check up) We also had an issue over this past summer where his fiancee took one of our daughters to Hawaii on vacation, and he didn't let me know. MY concern was, since I carry the medical insurance, doesnt his fiancee need a consent form that allows her to seek medical treatment in case of an emergency? I mean, I have to sign that when they go on field trips or register them for school.

 

[casa]

If Step-mom is signing as "parent" on school forms etc then YES that is over-stepping.

The State of Calif takes a very dim view of step parents who do this sort of thing. Custody has been known to change quickly in cases like this.

I do wonder if the OP is seeking a custody change and is planning on using this "over-stepping" issue as a jumpstart.

OP states she is correctly listed as Mother.

 

[penelope10]

I just wanted to add that if I found out that step mom was going to my child's Dr.'s office and seeking medical treatment I would be extremely upset. My decree states clearly who has the right to make medical decisions and seek medical attention and it is not a step, it's Dad or I.

Like I said, contact the Dr's office. Since step has the same last name as the kids the Dr. office may not know that it's not Mom who is taking the kiddos to the Dr.

My daughter has a heart murmur so if she gets a sore throat I always ask for a step test to be done. A strep infection can be dangerous for a child with a heart murmur. Her Dad and I both understand the importance of having this done, step may not, or she may feel that it's not significant in her opinion to have this done....

Also when my daughter has dental work done she is to put on antibiotics as a preventative measure. Therefore it is important that only Dad and I make medical decisions, plus step mom legally does not have the right to do so.

 

[casa]

Because for the 2nd time, he has allowed his fiancee to take our children to the annual check up. (we had a "discussion" about this last year, when I found out through my insurance company that she took them to their annual check up)

Ok, are You able to take them to the appts? Is Dad? Or do both of your work schedules prevent you from doing so?

We also had an issue over this past summer where his fiancee took one of our daughters to Hawaii on vacation, and he didn't let me know. MY concern was, since I carry the medical insurance, doesnt his fiancee need a consent form that allows her to seek medical treatment in case of an emergency? I mean, I have to sign that when they go on field trips or register them for school.

It depends...if they have ins. card for daughter, any ER would likely just accept the card & have whomever brought the child in, fill out the appropriate paperwork. Of course, ANYONE who has the child in their care should immediately notify the parents in any Emergency anyway.

As far as seeking routine medical care, etc., again I ask ~ Are either you or Dad available to attend those appts instead?

 

[Just Blue]

Because for the 2nd time, he has allowed his fiancee to take our children to the annual check up. (we had a "discussion" about this last year, when I found out through my insurance company that she took them to their annual check up) We also had an issue over this past summer where his fiancee took one of our daughters to Hawaii on vacation, and he didn't let me know. MY concern was, since I carry the medical insurance, doesnt his fiancee need a consent form that allows her to seek medical treatment in case of an emergency? I mean, I have to sign that when they go on field trips or register them for school.

How far away from your child do you live?

 

[Calimom3]

Step Mom works about 50 minutes away from children..

Does step mom work also---if not than realistically if Dad has custody during the week ,and both you and he work 45 minutes from school, she may be the one in the position to get to the school the fastest if one of the kiddos is ill.


Our school forms have three different areas on it:

1. Info for the child's primary residence.

2. Secondary Residence info.

3. Emergency contact info.

The school would first contact me, next the ex, and after that any emergency contacts....

So, it's a toss up who would get there first in the event of an emergency....

 

[Calimom3]

I have a very flexible schedule....

It depends...if they have ins. card for daughter, any ER would likely just accept the card & have whomever brought the child in, fill out the appropriate paperwork. Of course, ANYONE who has the child in their care should immediately notify the parents in any Emergency anyway.

As far as seeking routine medical care, etc., again I ask ~ Are either you or Dad available to attend those appts instead?

So, for annual appointments, I can take or accompany. Dad also has a flexible schedule. Since annual check up appointments are made in advance, getting time off for me isn't a problem.

 

[Calimom3]

About 50 miles

How far away from your child do you live?

About a 45 minute drive without traffic. I work about 25 miles from the school.

 

[penelope10]

It depends...if they have ins. card for daughter, any ER would likely just accept the card & have whomever brought the child in, fill out the appropriate paperwork. Of course, ANYONE who has the child in their care should immediately notify the parents in any Emergency anyway.

As far as seeking routine medical care, etc., again I ask ~ Are either you or Dad available to attend those appts instead?

I just wanted to beg to differ a little on this....when registering a child at an ER the hospital will ask the adult about their relationship with the child. (Even with an insurance card). If it is not parent the hospital will not provide emergency care. Hence getting a permission form from the hospital giving a third party permission to seek treatment.


As far as girlfriend taking your daughter on a trip, Dad may have signed an affidavit prior to the trip giving girlfriend permission to seek treatment in lieu of his presence.

The doctor's office is another story....this is not an out of town trip or field trip and they should not allow a girl friend/stepmom to make medical decisions.

 

[mommyof4]

If it is not parent the hospital will not provide emergency care.

Actually, you have that a bit backwards. The hospital will provide immediate emergency care, but will not provide care if it is not an emergency. No hospital will just let a child suffer or die just because the person who presented with the child is not the biological parent.

 

[penelope10]

I just wanted to add in the case of school records it should be listed as follows for emergencies as I see it--

1. Primary residence: Dad's name, Dad's work, Dad's home p#, Dad's work p#, Dad's cell phone number.

2. Secondary res. Your name, your work, your home phone number, work p#, and cell phone number.

Emergency contact--Step's name, address, home p#, work P#, cell p#--- form should ask relationship to the child-- Step mom.

Now Dad can still sidestep the issue and call wife to pick up kids, but if they can't reach him, the school knows that you should be reached next, and if you can't be reached then step mom.

Some events for school aren't listed on the school's web. I would contact the school or teacher and let them know you would like to be contacted about special events etc. not posted on the web as you would love to volunteer or help out. (But it's hard to do without prior notice since you work and need to make arrangements).

 

[penelope10]

Actually, you have that a bit backwards. The hospital will provide immediate emergency care, but will not provide care if it is not an emergency. No hospital will just let a child suffer or die just because the person who presented with the child is not the biological parent.

I agree to a certain extent---they won't let a child die, but let's say it's a broken bone. We had a child fall off a skate board at our house and break his arm. We took the child to the hospital (he was in pain) and the hospital would not treat him without the parent's permission.

It took us several hours of waiting at the hospital until Mom could be reached. It was pretty nerve racking and hard on the little boy---but the hospital would not treat him without Mom or Dad's permission. Mom was at the movies and Dad was out golfing....

 

[penelope10]

I also wanted to ask---I believe somewhere in the post the OP stated that she is the one who carries med insurance on the child---under HIPPA laws I would think that girlfriend/step would not have the right to sign any medical forms or have any medical information provided to her without a guardians permission and even with a guardian's permission it would still be an iffy situation in regards to regular doctor's visits.....

 

[Calimom3]

Yes... I do carry the medical insurance...

I also wanted to ask---I believe somewhere in the post the OP stated that she is the one who carries med insurance on the child---under HIPPA laws I would think that girlfriend/step would not have the right to sign any medical forms or have any medical information provided to her without a guardians permission and even with a guardian's permission it would still be an iffy situation in regards to regular doctor's visits.....

And this is something I am going to look into as well.

Another question, we have focused on medical and school records, but what about calling stepma- Mommy? Not a form of mommy, like mommy "her name or initial", but mommy? I have heard differing views on this from "it's petty, let it go" to "this is a big issue". I have essays written by the children for school that call step ma "mommy". Is it a big deal in association with everything else or no?

 

[Just Blue]

And this is something I am going to look into as well.

Another question, we have focused on medical and school records, but what about calling stepma- Mommy? Not a form of mommy, like mommy "her name or initial", but mommy? I have heard differing views on this from "it's petty, let it go" to "this is a big issue". I have essays written by the children for school that call step ma "mommy". Is it a big deal in association with everything else or no?

That IS a big deal...Have you talked to the father about this? This is actually an issue that could cost Dad custody.