stepmother rights?

[Ohiogal]

Its really NOT that simple...even in CA.

Edit to add: I should have read further before I responded....my response was unnecessary.

But join in. The more people who let someone know when they are wrong, the more serious it may be taken.

 

[bumpkin0684]

If the husband signs a release form at the school, the mother cannot stop you from meeting with school officals. So you could have him contact the school via e-mail and have him inform the school that thye are to contact you in his absence about any problems and any meetings that are needed. If mother has a problem with it, you can request seperate meetings. By law the school has to agree to the terms the father sets. That is what happened in my experiences. So good luck. Maybe this is some hope for you. Since people seem to be very mean to people even if they are jsut asking for alittle bit of help.

 

[Zigner]

If the husband signs a release form at the school, the mother cannot stop you from meeting with school officals. So you could have him contact the school via e-mail and have him inform the school that thye are to contact you in his absence about any problems and any meetings that are needed. If mother has a problem with it, you can request seperate meetings. By law the school has to agree to the terms the father sets. That is what happened in my experiences. So good luck. Maybe this is some hope for you. Since people seem to be very mean to people even if they are jsut asking for alittle bit of help.

Yep - until that nasty little "restraining order" thing kicks in

 

[Silverplum]

Nobody is "being mean."
The advisors are telling it like it is in real life, LEGALLY.
If real life bothers you, go on back to your soaps and dr. phil.

If the husband signs a release form at the school, the mother cannot stop you from meeting with school officals. So you could have him contact the school via e-mail and have him inform the school that thye are to contact you in his absence about any problems and any meetings that are needed. If mother has a problem with it, you can request seperate meetings. By law the school has to agree to the terms the father sets. That is what happened in my experiences. So good luck. Maybe this is some hope for you. Since people seem to be very mean to people even if they are jsut asking for alittle bit of help.

 

[fairisfair]

If the husband signs a release form at the school, the mother cannot stop you from meeting with school officals. So you could have him contact the school via e-mail and have him inform the school that thye are to contact you in his absence about any problems and any meetings that are needed. If mother has a problem with it, you can request seperate meetings. By law the school has to agree to the terms the father sets. That is what happened in my experiences. So good luck. Maybe this is some hope for you. Since people seem to be very mean to people even if they are jsut asking for alittle bit of help.

Please post that law. . . . .

I will wait. . . . . .

I packed a lunch.

 

[Silverplum]

Please post that law. . . . .

I will wait. . . . . .

I packed a lunch.

Good thing you did.

I'll be by later to make sure you didn't miss your dinner, either.

 

[Just Blue]

If the husband signs a release form at the school, the mother cannot stop you from meeting with school officals. So you could have him contact the school via e-mail and have him inform the school that thye are to contact you in his absence about any problems and any meetings that are needed. If mother has a problem with it, you can request seperate meetings. By law the school has to agree to the terms the father sets. That is what happened in my experiences. So good luck. Maybe this is some hope for you. Since people seem to be very mean to people even if they are jsut asking for alittle bit of help.

I just love it when someone chooses a user name that correctly reflects themselves...

 

[jbowman]

I just love it when someone chooses a user name that correctly reflects themselves...

Yeah, like Vanilla_Hottie

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Yeah, like Vanilla_Hottie

Ya, I saw that name. It cracked me up.

 

[CLBKLCDTB]

I feel for you lady. My current wife is a step mother for my daughter who also is 15 years old. She has helped me provide for my daughter her entire life. The mother sits on her butt and does nothing. Just this year I filed for Child Support and half of the tuition which the mother has to pay now. Getting back to the point, when it comes to paying tuition and saving for my childs college my wife is always there but the Ex quickly overlooks this. She is only her mother when it suits her. I don't think I answered your question but I just wanted to let you know that I have great respect for your feelings.

YOU picked the ex to be the mother of your child. You cant just go out and pick JR a new mommy because you no longer like the old model.

A step-parent may do what they do out of the goodness of thier heart. That does not give them any "legal rights" to the child. Nor does it gove them the right to make and decisions on behalf of that child.

To OP. MOM and DAD need to be at that meeting. If dad can not be present, he can at least call at the time of the meeting and do it over the phone with ex and teachers.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Man do I hate having to defend a partially right newbies:

Here is the FERPA law that allows STEPPARENTS legal rights:

FERPA is a Federal law that gives parents or eligible students the right to have access to a student's education records, the right to seek to have the records amended, and the right to have some control over the disclosure of information from the records. The term "education records" is defined as those records that contain information directly related to a student and which are maintained by an educational agency or institution or by a party acting for the agency or institution. 34 CFR § 99.3 "Education records."

The term "parent" is defined as including natural parents, a guardian, or an individual acting as a parent in the absence of a parent or a guardian. 34 CFR § 99.3 "Parent." The Department has determined that a parent is absent if he or she is not present in the day-to-day home environment of the child. Accordingly, a stepparent has rights under FERPA where the stepparent is present on a day-to-day basis with the natural parent and child and the other parent is absent from that home. In such cases, stepparents have the same rights under FERPA as do natural parents. Conversely, a stepparent who is not present on a day-to-day basis in the home of the child does not have rights under FERPA with respect to such child's education records.

Under FERPA, a school must provide a parent with an opportunity to inspect and review his or her child's education records within 45 days of the receipt of a request. A school is not, however, required to provide a parent with copies of education records unless a failure to do so would effectively prevent the parent from obtaining access to the records. A case in point would be a situation in which the parent does not live within commuting distance of the school. 34 CFR § 99.10.

http://www.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/library/hastings082004.html

In this particular case, since she is married to the NON-custodial parent, she would not be conferred such rights. Now, the custodial mom's husband could actually get this information.

 

[ErinGoBragh]

If Dad is deployed in Iraq it's not an issue of being able to "at least call at the time of the meeting"- not being snarky but chances are if someone over there told their CO that he had to be at the phone at such and such a time for a parent-teacher conference he would be laughed out of his unit unless he's really got some good pull.

What would be good, however, would be if the teacher would be willing to write updates that could be read by dad while he is away.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Now, it would be nice if stepmom could ask teacher if the class could adopt the dad. Many teachers will incorporate letter writing/geography, etc in the classes when they know that one of the children have a deployed parent.

 

[tanja53]

If the husband signs a release form at the school, the mother cannot stop you from meeting with school officals. So you could have him contact the school via e-mail and have him inform the school that thye are to contact you in his absence about any problems and any meetings that are needed. If mother has a problem with it, you can request seperate meetings. By law the school has to agree to the terms the father sets. That is what happened in my experiences. So good luck. Maybe this is some hope for you. Since people seem to be very mean to people even if they are jsut asking for alittle bit of help.

Somebody called rdkll wrote the same thing yesterday. And the forum didnt like what he wrote.
I do agree with both of you.

 

[CLBKLCDTB]

If Dad is deployed in Iraq it's not an issue of being able to "at least call at the time of the meeting"- not being snarky but chances are if someone over there told their CO that he had to be at the phone at such and such a time for a parent-teacher conference he would be laughed out of his unit unless he's really got some good pull.What would be good, however, would be if the teacher would be willing to write updates that could be read by dad while he is away.

Your exactly right, However....*Legaly* it would be acceptable. More than lets say, a spouse of a NCP actually going to the meeting..

As was said above. Let mom go to the meeting and send dad paperwork to keep him up to speed on what is going on with his child.