stepmother rights?

[tanja53]

Apparently, you need to keep studying. LEARNT???? WTH????

Oh...and you and your 'permy partner' are still dead wrong, legally. What you think and/or feel has nothing in common with the legally correct answers.

Life experrience is not a bad thing to have.
There are cases when the law has been wrong.
And they say it was in the intrest of the child?
I wonder if the child is going to thank the law if the wrong decision is made.
And the out come of that decision is a bad one.

 

[LdiJ]

Life experrience is not a bad thing to have.
There are cases when the law has been wrong.
And they say it was in the intrest of the child?
I wonder if the child is going to thank the law if the wrong decision is made.
And the out come of that decision is a bad one.

Its perfectly acceptable for you to have personal opinions on subjects. However, it is not acceptable for you to keep reiterating those personal opinions here, when they are not accurate legally. Please stop.

 

[txrose1998]

Life experrience is not a bad thing to have.
There are cases when the law has been wrong.
And they say it was in the intrest of the child?
I wonder if the child is going to thank the law if the wrong decision is made.
And the out come of that decision is a bad one.

I will reiterate what you have been told thousands of times. These are opinions, not legal advice. Whether your step-family gets along is beside the point. The point is steps are legal strangers. Period.

 

[sarah06]

Kindness and Respect goes a Long Way!

I have much respect for the senior members who have legally accurate advice, and your assistance is truly appreciated and valued, but I must say, sometimes certain members come across as extremely harsh when that harshness seems really unneccessary. Those of us posting questions are indeed coming here for legal advice, but that advice is given much more respect and consideration when it is done so with a certain level of common courtesy. To belittle members who might occasionally interject their opinions and personal experiences in an effort to support or empathize with the person posing the dilemma is truly unneccessary, and what you seem to be forgetting, because you are so focused on looking at the issues in black and white, is that in most cases, there are feelings involved and those of us posing questions really do appreciate the time it takes for others to share their experiences and words of wisdom. Most of us are intelligent enough to distinguish between information that is given with accurate legal foundation and basis, and that which is simply intended to be supportive. No matter what wealth of knowledge you possess regarding legal issues, common courtesy and understanding can go a long way.

 

[waitinMd]

you are so focused on looking at the issues in black and white, is that in most cases, there are feelings involved and those of us posing questions

the judge only looks at the issues in black and white.

 

[my life is mine]

The NCP in my situation lost his educational rights to children due to an overstepping step parent.

 

[sarah06]

Black and White

Re: the judge only looks at the issues in black and white

I respectfully appreciate your response, and I realize what you are saying, but looking at things in black and white applies to and is appropriate for giving legal advice, but my point was that some of us posting questions welcome input that is not black and white or solely based upon legal foundation. Let's not antagonize those who choose to share personal experiences and/or support for while those postings may not please certain Senior Members, they do often benefit those of us posting questions and for whom the forum is intended to help.

 

[Silverplum]

Re: the judge only looks at the issues in black and white

I respectfully appreciate your response, and I realize what you are saying, but looking at things in black and white applies to and is appropriate for giving legal advice, but my point was that some of us posting questions welcome input that is not black and white or solely based upon legal foundation. Let's not antagonize those who choose to share personal experiences and/or support for while those postings may not please certain Senior Members, they do often benefit those of us posting questions and for whom the forum is intended to help.

Typical Newbie Nonsense.

Loveydovey stuff is for Oprah and Dr. Phil. The legal stuff is here. And believe us, the courts are black/white. We are NOT going to pet you people.

We would be doing a disservice if we did.

 

[LdiJ]

Re: the judge only looks at the issues in black and white

I respectfully appreciate your response, and I realize what you are saying, but looking at things in black and white applies to and is appropriate for giving legal advice, but my point was that some of us posting questions welcome input that is not black and white or solely based upon legal foundation. Let's not antagonize those who choose to share personal experiences and/or support for while those postings may not please certain Senior Members, they do often benefit those of us posting questions and for whom the forum is intended to help.

One thing that you need to realize is that this is not a support site. That isn't this site's purpose. Many times posts that are intended to be supportive, really steer poster's in completely wrong directions. Its fine to share personal experiences when they are legally applicable to the poster's situation, or even practically applicable, and many seniors do that.

Tanja53 is not doing that. She believes that a stepparent is an "extra parent". Her advice/input is going to do nothing but cause people serious legal grief if they listen to her. Many members here also have stepparents in their children's lives that they get along with fabulously, and mention that from time to time. However, they don't do so in a context that could in any way mislead a poster legally.

 

[Just Blue]

Re: the judge only looks at the issues in black and white

I respectfully appreciate your response, and I realize what you are saying, but looking at things in black and white applies to and is appropriate for giving legal advice, but my point was that some of us posting questions welcome input that is not black and white or solely based upon legal foundation. Let's not antagonize those who choose to share personal experiences and/or support for while those postings may not please certain Senior Members, they do often benefit those of us posting questions and for whom the forum is intended to help.

If the personal experience is not legally relevant to the OP then that experience should not be shared. Posting about what you went through if the circumstances are not the same or in another state to the OP is not helpful and confuses the thread. Assuming that the OP is "smart" enough to figure out who is giving legal advice and who just wants to share is not a smart thing to do. Many OP's will latch on to WRONG advice just because it's what they want to hear.

If you don't want legal advice go to a different site. THIS one is to help advise people who are experiencing legal issues.

Try :

www.drphil.com

or

www.oprah.com

 

[Silverplum]

Many members here also have stepparents in their children's lives that they get along with fabulously, and mention that from time to time. However, they don't do so in a context that could in any way mislead a poster legally.

Like me.

 

[Just Blue]

Like me.

You are the most awesomest of steps!!!

I made up this word ;

awesomest

just for you!! Look for it soon in Websters!!

 

[sarah06]

To Senior Members Who Replied

Thank you for your responses. Although I wasn't referring to Tanja53 when I commented, I do understand the importance of posts not causing confusion or being misleading, and perhaps it was presumptuous of me to assume that most of us can distinguish between legal advice and opinions. I just think that there is a difference between getting a point across in a respectful way versus getting a point across in a sarcastic or demeaning way. I have seen some posts that sound extremely unprofessional, although I want to be sure to point out that those who make such posts are certainly in the minority. Most of you do a fine and respectful job of offering legal advice, and your points are all well taken and your advice appreciated. I for one, will make it a point to stick to the legalities in light of your insight. Thank you.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for your responses. Although I wasn't referring to Tanja53 when I commented, I do understand the importance of posts not causing confusion or being misleading, and perhaps it was presumptuous of me to assume that most of us can distinguish between legal advice and opinions. I just think that there is a difference between getting a point across in a respectful way versus getting a point across in a sarcastic or demeaning way. I have seen some posts that sound extremely unprofessional, although I want to be sure to point out that those who make such posts are certainly in the minority. Most of you do a fine and respectful job of offering legal advice, and your points are all well taken and your advice appreciated. I for one, will make it a point to stick to the legalities in light of your insight. Thank you.

While I understand your point about sarcasm, and have myself from time to time expressed a negative opinon about sarcasm here, the truth of the matter is that judge's are generally not polite and respectful in the context you mean. They are generally blunt, and sometimes sarcastic, so if the posters get used to it here, they will probably fare better in court.

 

[wileybunch]

sarah, some of what you perceive to be harshness and a shock to your system (I know what you're talking about -- I had to adjust to that reality, too) actually hits right to the core of a matter and to behavior and mindsets of a poster that should be nipped in the bud, so to speak, if they want sound legal advice. If done in a more coaxing sort of manner, more like a mental health counselor, it would take pages and pages of dialog to pull things out of a poster. Experienced seniors can already get to the heart of things, having seen it thousands of times by now. It may sting and feel like it sucks, but having a dialog go on for PAGES won't help anyone and won't be of use to others searching for help on a keyword to have to wade through all that.

Seniors aren't infallible. If an assumption is made by one and a further response indicates they were off base, you'll always see a recanting of a previous response and harshness.

P.S. Stepfamilies getting along would be the best for everyone, but when things go sour, like with anything, it's back to the letter of the law and pulling out the "contract" and the stepparents simply are not on the contract. I'm both a CP and stepmom, BTW.