SopranoKris
Member
What is the name of your state? Illinois
Here's the background (sorry this is long): Married in 1992, briefly separated for 2 months in 1998. Went through marriage counseling. (Husband had a drinking problem, didn't work/continually losing jobs, etc.) During reconciliation, discovered I was pregnant with our son. Decided to try and make it work for the sake of our child. Realized later that things would not change. I've always been the primary breadwinner, husband never held down job for longer than 8 - 9 months at a time. He has a bachelor's degree and is physically capable of working. He has made excuse after excuse not to work. We made an agreement that once our son started Kindergarten in 2004, that he would go back to work. He'd get a job and quit, get a job and get fired...lather, rinse, repeat.
In 2005, I said enough is enough. I wanted the marriage to be over as he did not fulfill his promise. We physically separated in 2006, however, we never filed a legal separation (which I now regret not doing, hindsight is 20/20). We've always been amicable, always put our son's best interests before our own. We have split custody 50/50 since the separation. My son spends Thursday night through Sunday night with me (3 1/2 days) and Sunday night through Thursday night with his father (3 1/2 days). My son also does homework with me on Wednesday nights and eats dinner here with me so we both spend equal time doing homework with our child. We live 3 blocks away from each other, so it's very easy to accomodate such a schedule. We are both highly involved in our son's life. People always comment that they had no idea we were even separated because we get along so well and are always together at our son's sporting events (bowling, martial arts & baseball). I have been paying ALL the bills since we separated in 2006, including keeping my husband on medical insurance, paying for car insurance, cell phone, etc. I give him enough to pay all the bills since he is usually out of a job (and my name is still attached to those bills)
Last month, I was told that I was going to lose my job. I work in the financial industry and with the economy the way it is, they're letting go of non-revenue producing employees. The only job offer I had was in WA state. I informed my husband that I wanted to move to WA because I had no job offers here and could not afford a lapse in salary since I'm paying for everything. He flat out refused to let me take our son out of the state (which is his right, I'd feel the same way if he wanted to move). We were in the process of working out visitation with him being the custodial parent in IL and me having extended visitation in WA.
Luckily, my circumstances have changed and I am able to stay in Illinois. I would like to file saying I should be named the custodial parent.
HERE'S THE QUESTION: What do you think my chances are of becoming the custodial parent?
My husband filed an emergency petition to keep me from leaving the state with my child.
I am NOT leaving now because I'm able to stay in IL. I only informed him that I was leaving because, at the time, I had no choice with no job offers here. That's now a moot point since I'm staying in IL.
I haven't heard of anyone in IL getting joint physical custody, only joint legal custody. I would like to continue our visitation schedule as we currently have it. Our son loves having equal time with both of us and we still continue to do things together (sports, eating dinner at a restaurant, school functions, etc.) But I'm concerned that he's trying to be named as the custodial parent. He can't even afford to support himself, let alone our son, since he can't keep a job. His current job will be done as of the second week in June with no guarantee that they'll hire him back. His parents are paying his legal fees. Has anyone heard of IL granting both joint legal AND joint physical custody? I wouldn't be opposed to it because it's worked so well for the past 2 years doing it on our own.
Sorry to be so long-winded, but thought it would be best to be detailed.
Here's the background (sorry this is long): Married in 1992, briefly separated for 2 months in 1998. Went through marriage counseling. (Husband had a drinking problem, didn't work/continually losing jobs, etc.) During reconciliation, discovered I was pregnant with our son. Decided to try and make it work for the sake of our child. Realized later that things would not change. I've always been the primary breadwinner, husband never held down job for longer than 8 - 9 months at a time. He has a bachelor's degree and is physically capable of working. He has made excuse after excuse not to work. We made an agreement that once our son started Kindergarten in 2004, that he would go back to work. He'd get a job and quit, get a job and get fired...lather, rinse, repeat.
In 2005, I said enough is enough. I wanted the marriage to be over as he did not fulfill his promise. We physically separated in 2006, however, we never filed a legal separation (which I now regret not doing, hindsight is 20/20). We've always been amicable, always put our son's best interests before our own. We have split custody 50/50 since the separation. My son spends Thursday night through Sunday night with me (3 1/2 days) and Sunday night through Thursday night with his father (3 1/2 days). My son also does homework with me on Wednesday nights and eats dinner here with me so we both spend equal time doing homework with our child. We live 3 blocks away from each other, so it's very easy to accomodate such a schedule. We are both highly involved in our son's life. People always comment that they had no idea we were even separated because we get along so well and are always together at our son's sporting events (bowling, martial arts & baseball). I have been paying ALL the bills since we separated in 2006, including keeping my husband on medical insurance, paying for car insurance, cell phone, etc. I give him enough to pay all the bills since he is usually out of a job (and my name is still attached to those bills)
Last month, I was told that I was going to lose my job. I work in the financial industry and with the economy the way it is, they're letting go of non-revenue producing employees. The only job offer I had was in WA state. I informed my husband that I wanted to move to WA because I had no job offers here and could not afford a lapse in salary since I'm paying for everything. He flat out refused to let me take our son out of the state (which is his right, I'd feel the same way if he wanted to move). We were in the process of working out visitation with him being the custodial parent in IL and me having extended visitation in WA.
Luckily, my circumstances have changed and I am able to stay in Illinois. I would like to file saying I should be named the custodial parent.
HERE'S THE QUESTION: What do you think my chances are of becoming the custodial parent?
My husband filed an emergency petition to keep me from leaving the state with my child.
I am NOT leaving now because I'm able to stay in IL. I only informed him that I was leaving because, at the time, I had no choice with no job offers here. That's now a moot point since I'm staying in IL.
I haven't heard of anyone in IL getting joint physical custody, only joint legal custody. I would like to continue our visitation schedule as we currently have it. Our son loves having equal time with both of us and we still continue to do things together (sports, eating dinner at a restaurant, school functions, etc.) But I'm concerned that he's trying to be named as the custodial parent. He can't even afford to support himself, let alone our son, since he can't keep a job. His current job will be done as of the second week in June with no guarantee that they'll hire him back. His parents are paying his legal fees. Has anyone heard of IL granting both joint legal AND joint physical custody? I wouldn't be opposed to it because it's worked so well for the past 2 years doing it on our own.
Sorry to be so long-winded, but thought it would be best to be detailed.
