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TCool

Member
Yeah, I understand the cig chemicals, they can cause all sorts of nasty things. Just didn't know that exczema was one of those things. As for the day care thing, I find that interesting. I'm not really understanding what would cause a correlation between exczema and day care. Although, I don't really know much about exczema so that would probably be why I don't understand that correlation.

Bloopy: Do you think if we did go to court over something else I could work that in easier if I have a statement from a doctor about her risk for asthma? I've read some things online about this. I found a couple sites that claimed that in some states Judges were taking smoking around children into consideration in custody battles. One even posted what they claimed to be what a judge actually said. It basically said that the parent who was smoking around the child was basically comitting child abuse. Although it did seem as if the child in that case had already been diagnosed and repeatedly hospitalized because of asthma. But, that is exactly what I'm trying to avoid so I would love to be able to work it in without needing to wait until my daughter spends a few nights in the hospital. I know what thats like, it is not fun and that is exactly why I want to do everything in my power to keep my daughter from getting asthma.

As for policing that; I wouldn't be too worried about that. Her mother is pretty good about making sure she follows the orders we have in place. Also, the horrible smell is a dead give away. I don't interrogate my daughter about anything that happens at her moms, but she does talk to me about this stuff. She is a pretty smart little girl and knows the kind of bad things that can happen from smoking. She tells me often about her mommy smoking and how she wishes she would quit doing it. I guess right now I should thank god that she thinks its nasty and not cool or something.

She smoked when we were together, but I did not allow smoking in the house. I had a little more influence over what happened in the house since I paid the rent. She didn't have a problem with it then, she would go outside and smoke.
 


Bloopy

Senior Member
Bloopy: Do you think if we did go to court over something else I could work that in easier if I have a statement from a doctor about her risk for asthma? I've read some things online about this. I found a couple sites that claimed that in some states Judges were taking smoking around children into consideration in custody battles.
Really. Your best shot would be Mom agreeing to it to save face in court. It would look a tad bitchy not to. A letter stating she as risk for asthma just shows she doesn’t actually have asthma.

It is still legal for Mom to smoke around her children. She likely did it when you were together. A judge may take an assertive position on this against Mom’s wishes. It’s really beyond his/her discretion. Most judges prefer to follow existing laws.
 

TCool

Member
Ok, I'll give that a try if we're ever in court again. I suppose until then I'll just try to educate her a little bit. Maybe swing by her place next time I'm in town and drop some dangers of smoking info off in her mail box. :p

Ya know, I think you guys should have the power to change the law. This world would be a much better place. :)
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
I can relate to the smell of the clothing; daughter has the same issue. She'll actually unpack right into the washing machine. Nothing I can do legally, but daughter now passes along all the information she receives in school to dad. :D:D:D She's asked her dad to quit smoking so that he'll be alive longer. Children are smart and can figure these things out themselves.
 

TCool

Member
True, but being smart doesn't scrub that crap out of your lungs. I'm just thankful it's only one week per month. My next strategy is going to be to get my daughter into some sort of martial art. That way she can "gently" remove the cigs from her mother everytime she lights one up. :p

I can see it now, Tays ties up her mom and sticks her in the corner. "This is for your own good mommy!" :D
 

masopa

Member
Do you think if we did go to court over something else I could work that in easier if I have a statement from a doctor about her risk for asthma? I've read some things online about this. I found a couple sites that claimed that in some states Judges were taking smoking around children into consideration in custody battles. One even posted what they claimed to be what a judge actually said.
Smoking has been a recurring issue I have had with my son's mother. Our new Order went into effect last May and was approved with a clause that neither parent is allowed to smoke around the child, nor allow other to smoke around the child. I'm in Dane County, WI.

Policing it is the hard part, so if your daughter's mother is good about following orders, the hard part is done once you get it in the Order. I would try to get it into future Orders . My son's mother sees no problem with smoking around him despite the Order, or the effects it has on him.
 

TCool

Member
Smoking has been a recurring issue I have had with my son's mother. Our new Order went into effect last May and was approved with a clause that neither parent is allowed to smoke around the child, nor allow other to smoke around the child. I'm in Dane County, WI.

Policing it is the hard part, so if your daughter's mother is good about following orders, the hard part is done once you get it in the Order. I would try to get it into future Orders . My son's mother sees no problem with smoking around him despite the Order, or the effects it has on him.
Ya, I was thinking of trying to get her to agree to neither of us ever smoking around our daughter or allowing people to do so, and perhaps even no bringing her to places with heavy smoke. But, she probably won't agree to that because I am giving up nothing. I don't smoke, nobody that comes around me smokes and I live in Madison and we have the city wide smoking ban so I don't have to worry about there being smoke in any places we go to. So, I'm gonna try what Bloopy said and try to sneak it in if we're ever in court. But, until that happens I'm gonna try some other things like telling my daughters mom to think of one thing that I do that absolutely drives her nuts and then perhaps we can negotiate from there. But, that probably won't work either.

I should point out, that even though I'm in Dane county jurisdiction is in Lincoln county. I do love it down here, although I wish people here would stop driving like they've never seen snow before. This is still Wisconsin! Oh, and I can't wait for Lake Mendota to thaw either, I miss that dead fish smell! :p
 

fairisfair

Senior Member
I can remember my daughter sweetly smiling up at me once and saying in a sing song voice. "mommy, did you know that you are actually killing me right now??" " I learned it in school, yep, you are making me dead". She was about 8 years old.

It was the last time she ever saw or smelled a cigarette. And we were standing in the yard when she said it.

Maybe it is time for munchkin to talk about what SHE has learned in school.;)
 

frylover

Senior Member
I can remember my daughter sweetly smiling up at me once and saying in a sing song voice. "mommy, did you know that you are actually killing me right now??" " I learned it in school, yep, you are making me dead". She was about 8 years old.

It was the last time she ever saw or smelled a cigarette. And we were standing in the yard when she said it.

Maybe it is time for munchkin to talk about what SHE has learned in school.;)
Whoa! Talk about making you feel about six inches high!:eek:
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
When I was 9 years old, I bugged my dad to quit smoking. He quit when I was 16 (after I had started smoking.) :eek:
 

Rushia

Senior Member
LOL at all the kids. Just last week Punk walked up to me and said, "You're making your lungs all black and you're gonna die!" I told him thank you and leave the room (I happened to be puffing at the time). It's nice that the schools educate the children in things such as smoking, taxes, and voting, but I DO NOT appreciate them telling my children to come home and badger/tell me off/harrass me/etc... about it.

I am a smoker as well. I do not smoke in the car (at least the one that the kids travel in). I do smoke in one room of the house (it's a utility room in the back off of the back door) in the winter, but in the nice months I go outside.
 

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