Child Abandonment Question

[nythng4mygrl]

What is the name of your state? LA

Hey guys, my very best friend of 18 years has 4 children. She recently divorced hubby 2 years ago. Ex-hubby stopped paying child support over a year ago, and only comes around for maybe 20-30 minutes every other month or so if that much. He picked boose and drugs over her and children and obviously still has a problem.

He recently attempted suicide, which of course she is unable to obtain the face sheet from hospital because of HIPAA regulations.

I have a few questions. Is it possible for her to obtain sole custody because of his drug/alcohol addiction and suicidal attempts in past? Can she claim child abandonment since he does not call and only shows up for 20 minutes or so every once in a blue moon, and has not paid child support in over a year? Can his medical records from the hospital be obtained through subpoena?

Thanks everyone!

 

[Isis1]

as long as he shows up...his length of time (per your state statute under abandonment) starts all over again. so no, he has not legally abandoned them.

however, she can petition to have sole physical custody and sole legal custody. if it would be granted is another story. more information would be needed.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Thank you. So basically is he was over there 2 months ago and has not called or seen the kids since, she would have another 10 months before she can bring up child abandonment issue? I'm thinking that she does not want him to have anything to do with them, since he is not around anyway. He is always drunk, drugged up, or trying to overdose on pain pills. She feels threatened letting him take the kids off because of all his suicidal attempts, she fears that he will do something stupid to the kids and then take his own life. He has brought up one time that he wanted to take the kids off for awhile and she told him no. She told him she would meet him wherever, or have her parents meet him, but she never wanted him alone with the kids because of his history. He has not even put up a fight to see the kids, but she feels more comfortable having sole custody. Is that wrong? What does it take to file sole physical and sole legal?

Thanks again!

 

[Silverplum]

Thank you. So basically is he was over there 2 months ago and has not called or seen the kids since, she would have another 10 months before she can bring up child abandonment issue?

No. There's MUCH MORE to that issue than that alone. A TPR is unlikely to occur for a parent who meets just one of the many criteria.

And his medical records are likely completely unavailable to her.

 

[happybug]

" I'm thinking that she does not want him to have anything to do with them, since he is not around anyway. "

So is it YOUR opinion that she wants her Ex out of her children's lives, or has she explicitly expressed that she is looking to terminate his rights. If she has not told you her EXPRESS wishes and asked for your help I think you need to MYOB.

 

[mommyof4]

Sole custody in no way prevents Dad from exercising his time spent with his children. It just means that the kids live primarily with Mom and she gets to make all of the major decisions.

TPR isn't going to happen (which is what you seem to be really asking about. I'll assume you're just confused on what is what.)

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Thanks for the info guys. An Happybug, to answer your question, yes she has expressed concerns to me, only I was putting it in a nice way of how she feels about the situation. I also said nothing about terminating parental rights. SHe has asked me to come on here because she knows I frequent this forum.

Her purpose for sole custody is strictly to control visitation arrangements. As stated earlier, he has nothing to do with the kids anyway. She just wants to secure the childrens safety, should something ever come up with him wanting to take them off. Currently there is no visitation order, however the child support order was put in place during the divorce, which obviously he has not adhered to. He never asked about visitation and she is not looking to terminate his rights, she is looking for a way to obtain sole custody to keep her kids safe from harm. She is merely trying to get him on child abandonment to obtain sole custody, not to terminate his parental rights.

I am simply getting advice for her since she is not privvy to a computer during the day and has 4 kids to raise at night, and asked me to do so. I would not be on here if I was not asked seek advice.

 

[Silverplum]

Thanks for the info guys. An Happybug, to answer your question, yes she has expressed concerns to me, only I was putting it in a nice way of how she feels about the situation. I also said nothing about terminating parental rights. SHe has asked me to come on here because she knows I frequent this forum.

Her purpose for sole custody is strictly to control visitation arrangements. As stated earlier, he has nothing to do with the kids anyway. She just wants to secure the childrens safety, should something ever come up with him wanting to take them off. Currently there is no visitation order, however the child support order was put in place during the divorce, which obviously he has not adhered to. He never asked about visitation and she is not looking to terminate his rights, she is looking for a way to obtain sole custody to keep her kids safe from harm. She is merely trying to get him on child abandonment to obtain sole custody, not to terminate his parental rights.

I am simply getting advice for her since she is not privvy to a computer during the day and has 4 kids to raise at night, and asked me to do so. I would not be on here if I was not asked seek advice.

I am extremely uncomfortable with helping someone "get" someone. That's not what coparenting is about.

And controlling visitation, or whatever she DOES want, is not going to happen with "charging" him with "abandonment."

That's why we *assumed* you were talking about TPR -- the LEGAL concept of "abandonment" is closely associated with TPR.

Tell her to take her busy self to an attorney, to explain terms to her and to guide her to achieving what she wants. If it is even possible to get what she wants, that is.

 

[SopranoKris]

If she's worried about him being alone with the children, why doesn't she request supervised visitation then? Seems like that would be the best option rather than try to terminate his rights.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Thanks Siverplum, but co-parenting is also not about avoiding phone calls from mom, not seeing children, or participating in athletic, social, or school activities.

She wants to file a petition against the ex for child abandonment so she can obtain sole custody. She also wants to bring up his drug use, alcohol abuse, and suicidal attempts in order to control the visitation with her kids. SHe is not trying terminate rights, she is only trying to create a safety zone for the kids. If she must have supervised visits, she does not have a problem with that.

She can't afford an attorney right now. Is there a way she can apply for legal aid in Louisiana, or can she go before the judge herself, or even hire an evaluator?

 

[mommyof4]

Thanks for the info guys. An Happybug, to answer your question, yes she has expressed concerns to me, only I was putting it in a nice way of how she feels about the situation. I also said nothing about terminating parental rights. SHe has asked me to come on here because she knows I frequent this forum.

Her purpose for sole custody is strictly to control visitation arrangements. As stated earlier, he has nothing to do with the kids anyway. She just wants to secure the childrens safety, should something ever come up with him wanting to take them off. Currently there is no visitation order, however the child support order was put in place during the divorce, which obviously he has not adhered to. He never asked about visitation and she is not looking to terminate his rights, she is looking for a way to obtain sole custody to keep her kids safe from harm. She is merely trying to get him on child abandonment to obtain sole custody, not to terminate his parental rights.

I am simply getting advice for her since she is not privvy to a computer during the day and has 4 kids to raise at night, and asked me to do so. I would not be on here if I was not asked seek advice.

Again....


Sole custody in no way prevents Dad from exercising his right to spend time with his children. It just means that the kids live primarily with Mom and she gets to make all of the major decisions pertaining to the children (i.e. medical care, education....).

 

[Zigner]

Why do you think she needs to prove abandonment in order to get sole legal/physical custody?