Summer Possession Clarification

[thompsonl]

It would be unbelievable petty of Dad to cut a day from her 30 because his bday happens to fall in the default 30 days.

Okay that's not the point about him being petty. You have to understand the mother to get where we are coming from. And actually it was me that mentioned the 29 days not him. The father is wanting to go by the order but the mother wants to have it her way. Every time he discusses something with her she thinks it's a different way. For instance she thinks summer possession starts the week after school gets out - but it clearly states it begins the day after her last day of school.

What he is trying to do is get it totally black and white with no gray areas so that he and his ex can sit down with true fact and schedule dates - with gray areas it leaves room for arguments and that's why Dad has custody of his daughter now.

Don't jude the father by my statement of 29 days - he's the father that gives into everything. He's always allowed her to have her way because it was just easier than arguing; however, she knows that and uses that to her advantage. Now he and I have a daughter of our own and so his schedule is not as flexible as it once was as we have to make family plans and like to know in advance when we have my stepdaughter so that she can enjoy the family visits as well.

I think I pretty much got the clarification I needed. Thanks.

 

[casa]

I'm trying to clarify 2 things. This year specifically with the fact that he's told her the week of her wedding is 7 days of her 23 days - does he get to designate a weekend from her 23 days - which I get now is no.

Then for future years if she chooses the 30 days in July - that means, besides on his birthday, he won't get to see his daughter for 29 days straight?

1.) First of all, her wedding is not 7 days of her time. That weekend IS her normal weekend. The weekDAYS she is taking that week are part of her time. Secondly, No, he cannot break her time period. What he CAN do is use any of the 1st, 3rd or 5th weekends which are NOT covered by her possesion...within which he would normally NOT have her...to choose as his ONE extra weekend.

2.) Yes. I'm sure as the CP he can handle her being w/her Mom (whom she used to LIVE with) for a period of 28 days.

 

[casa]

Okay that's not the point about him being petty. You have to understand the mother to get where we are coming from. And actually it was me that mentioned the 29 days not him. The father is wanting to go by the order but the mother wants to have it her way. Every time he discusses something with her she thinks it's a different way. For instance she thinks summer possession starts the week after school gets out - but it clearly states it begins the day after her last day of school.

Actually you are wrong. It clearly states a 7 day time buffer after the last day of school & before the 1st day of school returning.

If Dad didn't mention it, or isn't concerned with it...nor should you be.

What he is trying to do is get it totally black and white with no gray areas so that he and his ex can sit down with true fact and schedule dates - with gray areas it leaves room for arguments and that's why Dad has custody of his daughter now.

Don't jude the father by my statement of 29 days - he's the father that gives into everything. He's always allowed her to have her way because it was just easier than arguing; however, she knows that and uses that to her advantage. Now he and I have a daughter of our own and so his schedule is not as flexible as it once was as we have to make family plans and like to know in advance when we have my stepdaughter so that she can enjoy the family visits as well.

I think I pretty much got the clarification I needed. Thanks.

It IS best to figure this all out NOW and start a precident for agreement in the future.

 

[thompsonl]

1.) First of all, her wedding is not 7 days of her time. That weekend IS her normal weekend. The weekDAYS she is taking that week are part of her time. Secondly, No, he cannot break her time period. What he CAN do is use any of the 1st, 3rd or 5th weekends which are NOT covered by her possesion...within which he would normally NOT have her...to choose as his ONE extra weekend.

2.) Yes. I'm sure as the CP he can handle her being w/her Mom (whom she used to LIVE with) for a period of 28 days.

Okay this brings up more confusion - are you saying that if she breaks up her 30 days into 2 possessions throughout the summer that you do not count any days that fall in there that would normally be her 1,3,5 weekend? So if she chose a 14 day possession and two of those days happen to be her normal weekend that it would only count 12 of her 30 days, not 14?

 

[thompsonl]

It IS best to figure this all out NOW and start a precident for agreement in the future.

Casa Wrote: Actually you are wrong. It clearly states a 7 day time buffer after the last day of school & before the 1st day of school returning.

I am quoting directly from their signed order: "...the day after the child's school is dismissed for the summer vacation and ending no later than seven days before school resumes at the end of the summer vacation in that year..."

 

[casa]

Okay this brings up more confusion - are you saying that if she breaks up her 30 days into 2 possessions throughout the summer that you do not count any days that fall in there that would normally be her 1,3,5 weekend? So if she chose a 14 day possession and two of those days happen to be her normal weekend that it would only count 12 of her 30 days, not 14?

You are making this WAY more complicated than it has to be.

If her period of possession is for 2 wks which covers 2 wknds, he can't touch them.

If her period of possession begins AFTER her 'normal weekend visitation' it does NOT count towards her period of possession. ie; in this case, her period of possession begins on the Monday following her wedding.

 

[texastepmom]

1.) First of all, her wedding is not 7 days of her time. That weekend IS her normal weekend. The weekDAYS she is taking that week are part of her time. Secondly, No, he cannot break her time period. What he CAN do is use any of the 1st, 3rd or 5th weekends which are NOT covered by her possesion...within which he would normally NOT have her...to choose as his ONE extra weekend.

2.) Yes. I'm sure as the CP he can handle her being w/her Mom (whom she used to LIVE with) for a period of 28 days.

4. Summer Weekend Possession by [father]: "If [father] gives [mother] written notice by April 15 of a year, [father] shall have possession if the child any one weekend beginning at 6pm on Friday and ending at 6pm on the following Sunday during any one period of the extended summer possession by [mother] in that year, ..."

Extended Summer Possession by [father]: "If [father] gives [mother] written notice by April 15 of a year or gives [mother] 14 days written notice on or After April 16 of a year, [father] may designate one weekend beginning no earlier thatn the day after the child's school is dismissed for the summer vacation and ending no later than seven days before school resumes at the end of the summer vacation, during which an otherwise scheduled weekend or period of possession by [mother] shall not take place in that year, provided that the weekend so designated does not interfere with [mothers] period or periods of extended summer possess."

Question: Does this mean that the [father] has the opportunity to designate 2 weekends of the [mothers] weekends during the summer as long as he follows the guidelines provided? Also, if [mother] chooses to take the last 3 weeks of July (of her 30 days because she did not give notice by April 1st) does this mean the [father] can take one of those weekends of the 3 weeks in July as his weekend?

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to me this sounds like he gets two weekends... one during the extended summer visit which defaults in July and one during a typical EOW during the summer to allow for him to have almost a full month of vacation himself. however, if he didn't tell the ex that he wanted kiddo during her extended summer time (July) by April 15, he has defaulted on that visit.

i disagree with stealth on the birthday... since dad's birthday is in july and mom by default gets the month of july, dad could potentially never have kiddo on his birthday, while mom would be able to have kiddo on her birthday... the birthday clause was put in for a reason, why should dad give up that time?

 

[thompsonl]

It IS best to figure this all out NOW and start a precident for agreement in the future.

You are making this WAY more complicated than it has to be.

If her period of possession is for 2 wks which covers 2 wknds, he can't touch them.

If her period of possession begins AFTER her 'normal weekend visitation' it does NOT count towards her period of possession. ie; in this case, her period of possession begins on the Monday following her wedding.

This is what you wrote before: 1.) First of all, her wedding is not 7 days of her time. That weekend IS her normal weekend. The weekDAYS she is taking that week are part of her time. Secondly, No, he cannot break her time period. What he CAN do is use any of the 1st, 3rd or 5th weekends which are NOT covered by her possesion...within which he would normally NOT have her...to choose as his ONE extra weekend.

Yes it's her normal weekend - but she's splitting her 30 days - so she chooses June 5 through June 11 to be a possession period from her 30 days (if given notice by April 1) then are you saying because that weekend is her 1st weekend of the month anyway that it would not be counted as 7 days but 5 to subtract from 30? When if she chose the 30 days in July that 30 day includes her normal 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend as well.

 

[casa]

Casa Wrote: Actually you are wrong. It clearly states a 7 day time buffer after the last day of school & before the 1st day of school returning.

I am quoting directly from their signed order: "...the day after the child's school is dismissed for the summer vacation and ending no later than seven days before school resumes at the end of the summer vacation in that year..."

It says only that it is to begin NO EARLIER. Meaning it can begin the day AFTER, a week AFTER, a month AFTER...just no EARLIER. So, if she wants it to begin a week after school starts, that's perfectly within her Right to do so.

"If [mother] gives [father] written notice by April 1 of a year specifying an extended period or periods of summer possession of that year, [mother] shall have possession of the child for 30 days beginning no earlier than the day after the childs school is dismissed for the summer vacation and ending no later than seven days before school resumes at the end of the summer vacation in that year, to be exercised in no more than two separate periods of at least seven consecutive days each..."

 

[casa]

This is what you wrote before: 1.) First of all, her wedding is not 7 days of her time. That weekend IS her normal weekend. The weekDAYS she is taking that week are part of her time. Secondly, No, he cannot break her time period. What he CAN do is use any of the 1st, 3rd or 5th weekends which are NOT covered by her possesion...within which he would normally NOT have her...to choose as his ONE extra weekend.

Yes it's her normal weekend - but she's splitting her 30 days - so she chooses June 5 through June 11 to be a possession period from her 30 days (if given notice by April 1) then are you saying because that weekend is her 1st weekend of the month anyway that it would not be counted as 7 days but 5 to subtract from 30? When if she chose the 30 days in July that 30 day includes her normal 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend as well.

She isn't BEGINNING her period of possesion until June 5th correct? Her normal weekend is the 1st wknd of the month. She's taking her normal weekend & beginning her period of possesion AFTER that. Or at least that's what you seem to be saying.

If she chooses 30 days, it's her 30 days. The weekends INSIDE her period of possession DO NOT COUNT as 'normal weekend visitation'.

 

[thompsonl]

It says only that it is to begin NO EARLIER. Meaning it can begin the day AFTER, a week AFTER, a month AFTER...just no EARLIER. So, if she wants it to begin a week after school starts, that's perfectly within her Right to do so.

"If [mother] gives [father] written notice by April 1 of a year specifying an extended period or periods of summer possession of that year, [mother] shall have possession of the child for 30 days beginning no earlier than the day after the childs school is dismissed for the summer vacation and ending no later than seven days before school resumes at the end of the summer vacation in that year, to be exercised in no more than two separate periods of at least seven consecutive days each..."

No, no - my point is that she thinks that you don't actually starting referring to summer until that monday after school gets out - I mean that you start following the "summer possession" as it states the day after the last day of school. That is when you start following the summer possession order.

 

[Isis1]

i have got to ask...is DAD as much vested into this as you are?

 

[casa]

No, no - my point is that she thinks that you don't actually starting referring to summer until that monday after school gets out - I mean that you start following the "summer possession" as it states the day after the last day of school. That is when you start following the summer possession order.

Ok. Well, she CAN do that, but she doesn't HAVE to do that.

Dad should write a proposed schedule & see which things she even balks at.

 

[thompsonl]

4. Summer Weekend Possession by [father]: "If [father] gives [mother] written notice by April 15 of a year, [father] shall have possession if the child any one weekend beginning at 6pm on Friday and ending at 6pm on the following Sunday during any one period of the extended summer possession by [mother] in that year, ..."

Extended Summer Possession by [father]: "If [father] gives [mother] written notice by April 15 of a year or gives [mother] 14 days written notice on or After April 16 of a year, [father] may designate one weekend beginning no earlier thatn the day after the child's school is dismissed for the summer vacation and ending no later than seven days before school resumes at the end of the summer vacation, during which an otherwise scheduled weekend or period of possession by [mother] shall not take place in that year, provided that the weekend so designated does not interfere with [mothers] period or periods of extended summer possess."

Question: Does this mean that the [father] has the opportunity to designate 2 weekends of the [mothers] weekends during the summer as long as he follows the guidelines provided? Also, if [mother] chooses to take the last 3 weeks of July (of her 30 days because she did not give notice by April 1st) does this mean the [father] can take one of those weekends of the 3 weeks in July as his weekend?

-----------------------------------------

to me this sounds like he gets two weekends... one during the extended summer visit which defaults in July and one during a typical EOW during the summer to allow for him to have almost a full month of vacation himself. however, if he didn't tell the ex that he wanted kiddo during her extended summer time (July) by April 15, he has defaulted on that visit.

i disagree with stealth on the birthday... since dad's birthday is in july and mom by default gets the month of july, dad could potentially never have kiddo on his birthday, while mom would be able to have kiddo on her birthday... the birthday clause was put in for a reason, why should dad give up that time?

I totally read it the way you do Texasstepmom. That he gets 2 weekends. To me it clearly states that. He's not giving up his birthday - they specifically had it written that their birthdays take precedence over any other possession specifically because his birthday falls in July and he didn't want to potentially never get to exercise that right.

 

[thompsonl]

i have got to ask...is DAD as much vested into this as you are?

Yes, but he's a school teacher and doesn't have the time. He asks me questions about the orders, I look at them and answer them for him. If I can't, I call his attorney and ask for clarification and relay back to him. I tried to bypass the lawyer this time because we are $20,000 in to this and thought it would be some easy answers. Boy was I wrong! I give my husband advice as his wife, but honeslty most of the time he doesn't take it because he's way nicer than me but I don't give him grief over it. I just tell him what I'd do if it were me. He makes up his own mind. I just give him answers so that he can figure this all out. He tends to give in if he doesn't have all the facts and then gripes about it forever. This way he has the facts and can go from there.