What to do?

[luvday123]

What is the name of your state? WI

I have sole/legal custody of my daughter 14 . Her father has every other weekend
visitation. Last weekend i received a phone call when she was with him
on friday at 11pm him and his girlfriend were both arrested during a traffic stop. His girlfriend
for over due fines, him also the same. When he was searched he also was charged with
1. Possession of THC (2nd+ Offense)
2. Possess Drug Paraphernalia
3. Possession of Controlled Substance

I picked up my daughter and his dog( which was in the car with them) a police officer stayed there until i arrived. My daughter wanted the dog to come with us home...
but i stated i would take the dog to his home only!!! She wanted to stay there, i said we will see.... After walking into his apartment i couldn't believe the mess!!! dishes piled high in the sink and countertops, rotten food sitting on the stove. You had to walk on clothes
over boxes etc.etc. I only walked thru the livingroom into the kitchen. I said your NOT staying here let's go and we left!!
He pays child support off and on when he does work its a small amount
He has been court order to have medical for her since birth but never has!
Long story on visitation ( i try to make sure that he stays in contact with her) But after again being charged with drugs with her with him (this time) and the condition of his apartment. what should i do? Thanks!

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? WI

I have sole/legal custody of my daughter 14 . Her father has every other weekend
visitation. Last weekend i received a phone call when she was with him
on friday at 11pm him and his girlfriend were both arrested during a traffic stop. His girlfriend
for over due fines, him also the same. When he was searched he also was charged with
1. Possession of THC (2nd+ Offense)
2. Possess Drug Paraphernalia
3. Possession of Controlled Substance

I picked up my daughter and his dog( which was in the car with them) a police officer stayed there until i arrived. My daughter wanted the dog to come with us home...
but i stated i would take the dog to his home only!!! She wanted to stay there, i said we will see.... After walking into his apartment i couldn't believe the mess!!! dishes piled high in the sink and countertops, rotten food sitting on the stove. You had to walk on clothes
over boxes etc.etc. I only walked thru the livingroom into the kitchen. I said your NOT staying here let's go and we left!!
He pays child support off and on when he does work its a small amount
He has been court order to have medical for her since birth but never has!
Long story on visitation ( i try to make sure that he stays in contact with her) But after again being charged with drugs with her with him (this time) and the condition of his apartment. what should i do? Thanks!

Go to court. File to suspend all visitation pending Drug testing, Criminal court outcome, Parenting Classes, et.al.

Contact the Police Dept. of the town he got booked in. Get a copy of the report (it's public record).

Contact DHS/CPS (whichever it is in your state) and inform them.

Go to court for an ex parte hearing for terminated/suspended visitation.

If he bails out of jail between when you get in front of a judge & now Deny visitation. If he contacts Law Enforcement, show them the charges of the police report & inform them of your impending court hearing(s).

No more visitation for now.

RARELY do I advise to defy a Court Order. But there are exceptions to every rule, and this is one of them. Not just due to the charge, but your daughter's impressionable age. *IMO*

 

[LdiJ]

Go to court. File to suspend all visitation pending Drug testing, Criminal court outcome, Parenting Classes, et.al.

Contact the Police Dept. of the town he got booked in. Get a copy of the report (it's public record).

Contact DHS/CPS (whichever it is in your state) and inform them.

Go to court for an ex parte hearing for terminated/suspended visitation.

If he bails out of jail between when you get in front of a judge & now Deny visitation. If he contacts Law Enforcement, show them the charges of the police report & inform them of your impending court hearing(s).

No more visitation for now.

RARELY do I advise to defy a Court Order. But there are exceptions to every rule, and this is one of them. Not just due to the charge, but your daughter's impressionable age. *IMO*

Slight disagreement....I wouldn't get DHS/CPS involved at this point. You have sole custody and that could cause you some problems. You really don't need them involved in your daughter's life. However I agree 100% with everything else.

I will also add something. Be nice, for your daughter's sake, and for the poor dog's sake and go get the dog until dad bails out of jail.

 

[wileybunch]

I will also add something. Be nice, for your daughter's sake, and for the poor dog's sake and go get the dog until dad bails out of jail.

Or take DD over once or twice a day to exercise and play with dog and make sure food and water is refreshed.

 

[Ohiogal]

The problem is that leaving a dog in an unsanitary environment could actually endanger the dog. If it is not habitable for humans it also isn't habitable for the dog. The SPCA could/should be called.

 

[LdiJ]

The problem is that leaving a dog in an unsanitary environment could actually endanger the dog. If it is not habitable for humans it also isn't habitable for the dog. The SPCA could/should be called.

That's an option, but I would be nice for the daughter if mom kept the dog for a while....assuming its not some dangerous breed.

 

[ErinGoBragh]

That's an option, but I would be nice for the daughter if mom kept the dog for a while....assuming its not some dangerous breed.

Just call SPCA. OP may be a renter, or even an owner, and worried about damage dog may cause to the house. Or be allergic. Or a million other things. I know it sounds cruel, but unless she's gung-ho about taking the dog, which it doesn't sound like, it's really not her responsibility. But she SHOULD call SPCA at least.

 

[waitinMd]

WI casesearch

http://www.wicourts.gov/casesearch.htm

you should be able to look up his case number at the above site. Print out the info, take it to the courthouse and ask them for the entire folder as recommended by Casa..
ask the courthouse to make you a copy of the contents of the folder (usually 20 cents per copy). The police report should be in the folder.

FYI - takes about 3 days for the report from police to get in the courthouse folder. You can also go to the police station, but if you are not a party to the case... it may take awhile. They give us a hard time in Maryland about getting the report at the police station. The courthouse was always faster, plus you can read any additional comments made to the case.