Does This Hurt My Chance Of Keeping Custody

[my bear]

What is the name of your state? Calfornia

I have another situation that just arose that I need help possibly answering. As, I explained in my previous posting, my ex and I came up with an arrangement outside of the court that we recently found out is not legally binding. So, now I need to file custody papers which I will on Wednesday.

However, now I am being told by my daughter's daycare that I cannot take her back until I get caught up on the payments. I am only behind because I am her sole source of financial support. Thirty percent of my take home pay goes towards daycare. I have looked for a cheaper place, but in Northern California there is no such thing. Then besides rent, utilities, food, ect., I pay over $400.00 in past medical bills that my daughter incurred due to constant upper respiratory and ear infections until the age of four.

My ex is claiming that this is only going to bolster his case on why he should get half or now full custody. Is that true? Even though he has not financially supported her?

 

[Zephyr]

have you tried any social programs to see if you qualify for daycare assistance?

ex doesn't pay child support?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Calfornia

I have another situation that just arose that I need help possibly answering. As, I explained in my previous posting, my ex and I came up with an arrangement outside of the court that we recently found out is not legally binding. So, now I need to file custody papers which I will on Wednesday.

However, now I am being told by my daughter's daycare that I cannot take her back until I get caught up on the payments. I am only behind because I am her sole source of financial support. Thirty percent of my take home pay goes towards daycare. I have looked for a cheaper place, but in Northern California there is no such thing. Then besides rent, utilities, food, ect., I pay over $400.00 in past medical bills that my daughter incurred due to constant upper respiratory and ear infections until the age of four.

My ex is claiming that this is only going to bolster his case on why he should get half or now full custody. Is that true? Even though he has not financially supported her?

No, its not going to bolster his case at all. Its somewhat irrelevant, particularly since he has not been contributing to the support of the child or the daycare expenses.

 

[my bear]

I have looked into social service help with respect to daycare. However, I make to much money to qualify.

He is not paying child support now because it was part of our agreement outside of court which is not legally binding. He paid has paid a total of $5,000.00 over the course of five years in support. However, now that he is aware that our current agreement is worthless he is refusing to pay anything else without a court order. I understand that is his right, so my filing on Wednesday will be a child custody and support request.

I am most concerned with how the court might view my failure to pay child care costs. I currently spend every dime I make on my daugther and her care. I do not mean to complain because I know there are plenty of other people in my boat or worse. However, I am scared to death of losing my daughter. Especially since I am the only parent who has choosen to be there for her, her entire life.

 

[LdiJ]

I have looked into social service help with respect to daycare. However, I make to much money to qualify.

He is not paying child support now because it was part of our agreement outside of court which is not legally binding. He paid has paid a total of $5,000.00 over the course of five years in support. However, now that he is aware that our current agreement is worthless he is refusing to pay anything else without a court order. I understand that is his right, so my filing on Wednesday will be a child custody and support request.

I am most concerned with how the court might view my failure to pay child care costs. I currently spend every dime I make on my daugther and her care. I do not mean to complain because I know there are plenty of other people in my boat or worse. However, I am scared to death of losing my daughter. Especially since I am the only parent who has choosen to be there for her, her entire life.

Again, the fact that you are struggling to pay the daycare is not going to hurt you as far as custody is concerned. You are struggling because dad isn't paying child support.

 

[Silverplum]

Again, the fact that you are struggling to pay the daycare is not going to hurt you as far as custody is concerned. You are struggling because dad isn't paying child support.

He's not ORDERED to pay support.

So she's struggling because she had a child out of wedlock and then no support order was sought.

Clarity. Accuracy. Complete story. All good things.

 

[Humusluvr]

I have looked into social service help with respect to daycare. However, I make to much money to qualify.

He is not paying child support now because it was part of our agreement outside of court which is not legally binding. He paid has paid a total of $5,000.00 over the course of five years in support. However, now that he is aware that our current agreement is worthless he is refusing to pay anything else without a court order. I understand that is his right, so my filing on Wednesday will be a child custody and support request.

I am most concerned with how the court might view my failure to pay child care costs. I currently spend every dime I make on my daugther and her care. I do not mean to complain because I know there are plenty of other people in my boat or worse. However, I am scared to death of losing my daughter. Especially since I am the only parent who has choosen to be there for her, her entire life.

Seniors, is it possible that since she never had a legal support agreement, she could file for BACK support? Ya know, since he decided to stop paying since their agreement was not legally binding?

 

[LdiJ]

He's not ORDERED to pay support.

So she's struggling because she had a child out of wedlock and then no support order was sought.

Clarity. Accuracy. Complete story. All good things.

Yes, she is struggling because she made the mistake of making an unenforceable agreement with her child's father, instead of being smart and getting a court order.

The bottom line though, is she is struggling because he isn't helping.

 

[Silverplum]

Seniors, is it possible that since she never had a legal support agreement, she could file for BACK support? Ya know, since he decided to stop paying since their agreement was not legally binding?

No.
http://ocse.acf.hhs.gov/ext/irg/sps/report.cfm?State=CA#9

 

[Humusluvr]

No.
http://ocse.acf.hhs.gov/ext/irg/sps/report.cfm?State=CA#9

Thank you Silver. That was actually some very educational reading, when I checked my state.

Much appreciated!

 

[Silverplum]

Thank you Silver. That was actually some very educational reading, when I checked my state.

Much appreciated!

You're totally welcome.

 

[my bear]

I do accept the fact that this is my error. As a matter of fact, it is a huge error on my part. I did take him to court for paternity, child support and child custody about a year ago. However, I was also EXTREMELY stupid and dropped the case regarding child support and custody to come up with an independant agreement because I did not rock the boat and wanted to make everything amicle for our daughter's sake. So, instead I agreed to our current (albeit worthless) parenting plan which we had signed and notarized. And I am still abiding by our parenting plan and am not preventing him from seeing our child on the days we agreed he would have her.

I know that I must take him to court at this juncture. But I want to make sure that I have all of my ducks in a row and prepare myself for how the court might rule.

 

[Silverplum]

I do accept the fact that this is my error. As a matter of fact, it is a huge error on my part. I did take him to court for paternity, child support and child custody about a year ago. However, I was also EXTREMELY stupid and dropped the case regarding child support and custody to come up with an independant agreement because I did not rock the boat and wanted to make everything amicle for our daughter's sake. So, instead I agreed to our current (albeit worthless) parenting plan which we had signed and notarized. And I am still abiding by our parenting plan and am not preventing him from seeing our child on the days we agreed he would have her.

I know that I must take him to court at this juncture. But I want to make sure that I have all of my ducks in a row and prepare myself for how the court might rule.

That's very excellently good.

And, IF this is the whole story, then I could see potential judge-trouble for him. You are holding up your end, but he is not holding up his. Maybe. Depends upon the judge.

 

[casa]

Seniors, is it possible that since she never had a legal support agreement, she could file for BACK support? Ya know, since he decided to stop paying since their agreement was not legally binding?

Actually, in THIS case I believe there is a good chance he will be ordered to pay what he STOPPED paying for only the duration he stopped paying it. ie; No Court Order, BUT she can get back support for what she can demonstrate he AGREED to pay & DID NOT.

In other words? The notarized paper, while legally enforceable, IS going to be considered evidence of his agreement to pay that amount as and for support of the child.

I've seen that happen tons of times. That's about the only good thing those notarized agreements are good for, documentation/evidence of the person's stipulation/intent/agreement outside a Court Order.

 

[jbowman]

I think Silver is right, it does depend on the judge. If you present the fact that the two of you went by your own agreement and present said agreement, the judge may take this into consideration. I am in CA and my judge didnt necessarily make every decision based specifically on the LAW that is set in stone. They do use common sense.