third party interference, visitation

[penelope10]

I think part of the problem, IMO, is that the new wife thinks Muncie wants ex back. I'm going to guess this will become a pissing match over who is ALLOWED to contact whom. And maybe that is true. Maybe Muncie feels a little slighted.

But remember, that is all in the past OP. Work on facilitating a relationship with the kiddos. They deserve to know their dad and siblings.

Well perhaps, LOL. But I think that if OP is polite in her responses , then there's no perception of a pissing match over this ex. And if nw calls I'd say, "My what a pleasant surprise, how nice to talk to you....blah, blah, blah, then could you put the ex on? Nice to have spoken with you."

Really and truly I don't think nw probably wants to talk to the OP any more than OP probably wants to talk to her. But at least the nw has tried opening communications so a relationship can be facilitated between the kids. Says something positive about the woman in my book.

 

[CourtClerk]

I'm no longer addressing Muncie, but I will address the rest of you.

Here's what I find funny. Muncie is quick to throw third party interference around (because that's what she THOUGHT it was), but only when it's convenient.

See, Muncie doesn't want to speak to new wife because new wife is a third party yadda yadda yadda. However...

when it's suitable for Muncie, she WILL let a third party get involved with the visitation. Mainly grandmama.

...I asked grandma if she could come and get DD and take her back down there for a few weeks

Is grandma not a third party??? Why is it ok for one third party to be involved but not the other? I wonder why it's grandma's responsibility to go from FL to IN back to FL back to IN back to FL.

So, is it only third party inteference when someone you don't LIKE is involved? Inquiring minds want to know.

 

[penelope10]

I'm no longer addressing Muncie, but I will address the rest of you.

Here's what I find funny. Muncie is quick to throw third party interference around (because that's what she THOUGHT it was), but only when it's convenient.

See, Muncie doesn't want to speak to new wife because new wife is a third party yadda yadda yadda. However...

when it's suitable for Muncie, she WILL let a third party get involved with the visitation. Mainly grandmama.
Is grandma not a third party??? Why is it ok for one third party to be involved but not the other? I wonder why it's grandma's responsibility to go from FL to IN back to FL back to IN back to FL.

So, is it only third party inteference when someone you don't LIKE is involved? Inquiring minds want to know.

Now that is a very interesting point...and perhaps something the OP should think about.
Like I said OP needs to have a cooling off period and then respond to NW in a non hostile manner if she truly wants to facilitate a relationship between the kiddos. And she should because the kiddos are the true innocents in all of this.

 

[CourtClerk]

I mean, I don't know where all of you are, but here, gas has just reached the $4.00/gl mark. Is Muncie reimbursing grandma for the travel costs from FL to IN to FL to IN back to FL????

 

[Mommy711]

Muncie.... If the siblings ages were listed anywhere I missed them. I have to offer you some experienced advice. My daughter has a half sister who is 16. They have met. My daughter's half sister has met her dad once. Just once. I called the mom of the half sister to get the girls together. A lot of people told me that i should leave it alone, and not become involved, but I had to for the girls. I have 2 sisters. My daughter's dad has another little girl, 18 months. My daughter knows this little girl. She sings her, rocks her to sleep, feeds her, plays with her, BUT my daughter's older sister has never seen this little girl. She is deeply saddened by this.

Okay, maybe you cannot afford the gas. It sound like she is mad abotu the child support arrearages, BUT this woman could take her money and never write to you at all. It is about knowing that her kids don't even know their sister. I hope you do the right thing. Find a way for the siblings to connect even if it isn't in person.

 

[penelope10]

I mean, I don't know where all of you are, but here, gas has just reached the $4.00/gl mark. Is Muncie reimbursing grandma for the travel costs from FL to IN to FL to IN back to FL????

LOL, that's something to ponder----good grief I just went to the "Evil Empire" to buy groceries for just me and Lil Bit. $100 later and I'm thinking of creative ways to stretch stuff till next week. A year ago I would not have been wondering---$100 went a lot further.

I now only put about $20 at a time in the tank. (It's a mind game I play)That way I don't get as frustrated when I spend $60 all in one fatal sweep to fill the tank up!

 

[>Charlotte<]

I do believe only me and father should be the ones discussing any visitation between him and DD also.

A statement like that is a little absurd because by the very act of sending her this letter you're discussing it with her.

If you do send her a letter, I'd like to suggest that you change the perspective. Essentially, her letter was "You did / you didn't" and your reponse is "No I didn't / Yes I did." That's an argument. Instead of responding defensively (I have never said i dont want our children to know each other), make positive, cooperative statements (I agree that our children should know each other.)

If you don't want her to be a part of the communication process between you and your ex, ignore her letter and don't try to make yourself feel better by constructing a defensive response to it.

If you are willing to include her, any communication from you should be carefully reviewed before you send it. Re-read each sentence and put it to the test. If it facilitates a positive step forward with regard to your child and her father, keep it. If it's only about your relationship with the father or the stepmother, if it's an accusation, or if it's defensive, delete it. Anything you write should be written and put on hold for at least a day, and then be critically reviewed before sending it.

 

[CourtClerk]

LOL, that's something to ponder----good grief I just went to the "Evil Empire" to buy groceries for just me and Lil Bit. $100 later and I'm thinking of creative ways to stretch stuff till next week. A year ago I would not have been wondering---$100 went a lot further.

I now only put about $20 at a time in the tank. (It's a mind game I play)That way I don't get as frustrated when I spend $60 all in one fatal sweep to fill the tank up!

I have a prepubescent preteen boy... $100 in groceries? Puhleeze....

Gas tank? $62.00 when it was 10 cents cheaper per gallon. I'm going to go into convulsions when I go back to the gas station.

 

[penelope10]

I have a prepubescent preteen boy... $100 in groceries? Puhleeze....

Gas tank? $62.00 when it was 10 cents cheaper per gallon. I'm going to go into convulsions when I go back to the gas station.

My sympathies having a boy in the house to feed. Thank goodness it's just me and Lil Bit. I shudder to think what my electric bill will be. It was 95 degrees today. Last year one of my electric bills was between $400-$500. I have friends that have a pool. One month there's was almost $900! It's pretty friggin sad when your electric bill is almost equal to your mortgage payment!

 

[mommyof4]

My sympathies having a boy in the house to feed. Thank goodness it's just me and Lil Bit. I shudder to think what my electric bill will be. It was 95 degrees today. Last year one of my electric bills was between $400-$500. I have friends that have a pool. One month there's was almost $900! It's pretty friggin sad when your electric bill is almost equal to your mortgage payment!

I feel your pain. You know I do....

A suggestion for the gas situation. If you don't already, get a Tom Thumb customer card. Every time you purchase at least $50 worth of groceries (excluding beer, tobacco, etc) you get a .10 discount off of the gas at TT. It doesn't sound like much, but gawd...3.68 sure sounds better than 3.78. (and it does add up)

I know Kroger offers discounts, too...but I think it's only .06.

Sorry for the local high jack.

 

[penelope10]

I feel your pain. You know I do....

A suggestion for the gas situation. If you don't already, get a Tom Thumb customer card. Every time you purchase at least $50 worth of groceries (excluding beer, tobacco, etc) you get a .10 discount off of the gas at TT. It doesn't sound like much, but gawd...3.68 sure sounds better than 3.78. (and it does add up)

I know Kroger offers discounts, too...but I think it's only .06.

Sorry for the local high jack.

Quite all right---I do the Tom Thumb gas thing too. They have really good sales on meat. When they do I go in, and stock up, and use the old freezer...

And you can high jack all you want---In fact---OMG I think I'm the one that started the high jack--By the way I finally pmed you back. LOL never noticed I was getting message notices when I signed in!

 

[happybug]

OP, why don't you try and take EX out of the situation for a second. Get rid of Granny too. Your EX very well may be a piece o' crap. In fact, by the behavior you describe he is. However, It didn't seem, to me like New Wife was pushing a Father/Daughter relationship. She is interested in a Sibling/Sibling relationship. She did not come to you as a Wife. She came to you as a MOTHER. IMO, she made contact for her Daughters and YOUR Daughter. I don't see how she has interfered with your life or your Daughter's life at all. ( Unless, you want to count her paying your C/S because her Husband was unWILLING. OMG, let's stone her now. )

She came to you Mom to Mom. However you respond you should remember that. She did NOT come to you as New Wife trying to manage your Daughter's relationship with her Husband. She came to you to try and facilitate a Sibling relationship for her children and your child.

 

[LdiJ]

Dear New Wife,

I do agree with you that our children deserve to know and have a relationship with each other. I also believe that my daughter deserves to have a relationship with her father.

I realize that you probably won't believe me, but I have honestly never done anything to prevent dad from having a relationship with our child. In fact, until recently I had no idea where the two of you were even living.

Yes, I have kept in contact with grandmother and aunt, because I had contact information for them and because they were open to having a relationship with our child.

I cannot afford to come to Florida, but I would be open to ideas on how to give the children an opportunity to get to know each other.

 

[StampGirl]

My sympathies having a boy in the house to feed. Thank goodness it's just me and Lil Bit. I shudder to think what my electric bill will be. It was 95 degrees today. Last year one of my electric bills was between $400-$500. I have friends that have a pool. One month there's was almost $900! It's pretty friggin sad when your electric bill is almost equal to your mortgage payment!

Well when all of you have 7 people to feed in one house!! Then call me LOL 2 boys too. Well I say boys, my husband and his son!!

Might I suggest Winco for groceries??? Seriously, I went this weekend and spent $125 for ALL of us to eat for a week. That included laundry soap ($1.63 for the container that washes 50+ loads), meat (hamburger, chicken, pork, and steaks), and all other foodstuffs. YEAH seriously thats about what it costs us a week. I LOVE Winco!!!! They also take coupons too so I need to start doign that too.

Ok end of hijack!! Sorry OP.

 

[penelope10]

Well when all of you have 7 people to feed in one house!! Then call me LOL 2 boys too. Well I say boys, my husband and his son!!

Might I suggest Winco for groceries??? Seriously, I went this weekend and spent $125 for ALL of us to eat for a week. That included laundry soap ($1.63 for the container that washes 50+ loads), meat (hamburger, chicken, pork, and steaks), and all other foodstuffs. YEAH seriously thats about what it costs us a week. I LOVE Winco!!!! They also take coupons too so I need to start doign that too.

Ok end of hijack!! Sorry OP.

Alas no Winco that I know of around here.

Although I have some excellent friends that are Cajun. They really know some creative ways to stretch a meal!