My ex never took her money

[TB14422]

Hi all. I live in New Hampshire and it was agreed in my divorce setlement that my ex would receive $30,000 from my 401k. I moved that money to a very stable fund so it wouldn't lose, or gain, value. She was to get an attorney and complete the transaction as I had alread signed it away when we signed papers. Well it's going on 2 years now and I had completely forgotten about it thinking it was already gone until I happened to get a statement in the mail and the money hasn't been touched. She has since moved away and none of her old friends or I am in contact with her any more. What should I do about the money. Can I be penalized in any way? Thanks in advance for any advice, TB

 

[LdiJ]

Hi all. I live in New Hampshire and it was agreed in my divorce setlement that my ex would receive $30,000 from my 401k. I moved that money to a very stable fund so it wouldn't lose, or gain, value. She was to get an attorney and complete the transaction as I had alread signed it away when we signed papers. Well it's going on 2 years now and I had completely forgotten about it thinking it was already gone until I happened to get a statement in the mail and the money hasn't been touched. She has since moved away and none of her old friends or I am in contact with her any more. What should I do about the money. Can I be penalized in any way? Thanks in advance for any advice, TB

Obviously a QDRO was never completed to separate the funds into an account of her own. However that does not change the fact that you have a court order for the division of the funds. You should consider that money (and its earnings) as not belonging to you, because eventually she is going to realize that it wasn't done properly and will take the necessary steps to do so.

You might not know where she is, but if you know where her family is you might want to get the message out that things haven't been completed and need to be completed.

Its also hard to find an attorney sometimes that is willing to handle a QDRO. For some reason, many of them are reluctant to handle one, even if they handled the divorce. I have never understood that...but it seems to be a somewhat common problem.

 

[mistoffolees]

Its also hard to find an attorney sometimes that is willing to handle a QDRO. For some reason, many of them are reluctant to handle one, even if they handled the divorce. I have never understood that...but it seems to be a somewhat common problem.

Just speculation, but it seemed that my attorney was not comfortable with the QDRO because of the heavy math involved. She was happy to have boilerplate language inserted into the divorce decree, but wanted all the heavy lifting shifted to someone else. The math can become a bit complicated, particularly when the distribution does not occur on the date of the court order (which is common).

I suspect that most lawyers aren't particularly strong in math - nor are they typically required to be.

Just a guess, though.

 

[LdiJ]

Just speculation, but it seemed that my attorney was not comfortable with the QDRO because of the heavy math involved. She was happy to have boilerplate language inserted into the divorce decree, but wanted all the heavy lifting shifted to someone else. The math can become a bit complicated, particularly when the distribution does not occur on the date of the court order (which is common).

I suspect that most lawyers aren't particularly strong in math - nor are they typically required to be.

Just a guess, though.

Its a reasonable guess....and a logical guess....howeever as common as QDROs are, it seems to me that there ought to be software out there to calculate them....

 

[mistoffolees]

Its a reasonable guess....and a logical guess....howeever as common as QDROs are, it seems to me that there ought to be software out there to calculate them....

My guess is that companies like Fidelity, eTrade, etc have their own software - which means that the market for others would be relatively small.

Since the investment bank will generally have the software, why would the attorney spend the money on the software (and the time learning how to use it)? Even if the software was free, it would be too easy to make a mistake in the data entry, so I can't imagine that the attorney would want that liability, anyway.

 

[MFinancier]

Hi all. I live in New Hampshire and it was agreed in my divorce setlement that my ex would receive $30,000 from my 401k. I moved that money to a very stable fund so it wouldn't lose, or gain, value. She was to get an attorney and complete the transaction as I had alread signed it away when we signed papers. Well it's going on 2 years now and I had completely forgotten about it thinking it was already gone until I happened to get a statement in the mail and the money hasn't been touched. She has since moved away and none of her old friends or I am in contact with her any more. What should I do about the money. Can I be penalized in any way? Thanks in advance for any advice, TB

"Already signed it away"? Not sure I understand exactly what you did with the money...is it still in your 401k... just in a separate investment? You do get quarterly account statements..right? Did your decree state that you were to transfer 30K to an account to be specified by her? She can't transfer the money out of your account..only you can do that. Her responsibility is to give you an account to transfer it too! Honestly...this is sounding a little fishy...not too many people just forget about 30K.

 

[TB14422]

All I remember is that the mediator told us that she was responsible for setting up the tranfer. I had 30k in a Fidelity 401k from a previous job that she was to get since I didn't have cash to give her what she was entitled. I've since started a new Fidelity 401k and don't really look at the statements as I'm in it for the long haul and put my money in a plan based on my age and takes care of itself. The accounts are seperate. It wasn't an ugly divorce. She seemed like she just wanted to get away and never be heard from again after. I've just got a feeling that all of a sudden she'll feel like buying a house and remember it. I just don't want to be penalized somehow. Just sort of strange.

 

[Bali Hai]

Just speculation, but it seemed that my attorney was not comfortable with the QDRO because of the heavy math involved. She was happy to have boilerplate language inserted into the divorce decree, but wanted all the heavy lifting shifted to someone else. The math can become a bit complicated, particularly when the distribution does not occur on the date of the court order (which is common).

I suspect that most lawyers aren't particularly strong in math - nor are they typically required to be.

Just a guess, though.

This is one time that I must agree with you.

Let me put it another way: Most lawyers are full of HOT AIR, and, when it comes to GETTING something that they have been blowing their hot air all about, they have no idea just what the hell their hot air was all about in the FIRST PLACE!!

 

[penelope10]

This is one time that I must agree with you.

Let me put it another way: Most lawyers are full of HOT AIR, and, when it comes to GETTING something that they have been blowing their hot air all about, they have no idea just what the hell their hot air was all about in the FIRST PLACE!!

LOL! Hey Bali---where you been?

I think I've figured out your real identity based on a previous post (you said you were traveling and were far from US woman!)

You're Hai....Bali Hai....008...and your secret mission is to rid the world of the evils of alimony among other things! (Shaken not stirred please)

 

[Bali Hai]

LOL! Hey Bali---where you been?

I think I've figured out your real identity based on a previous post (you said you were traveling and were far from US woman!)

You're Hai....Bali Hai....008...and your secret mission is to rid the world of the evils of alimony among other things! (Shaken not stirred please)

I'm afraid you've blown my cover!!

It's noon here and I just came in from the beach where it is hotter than the hands of a woman divorcing a millionaire!!!