Flight times for visitations

[Humusluvr]

I completely understand where you're coming from and thank you for sharing your situation. Every time Dad can book flights on the weekends, he does, because neither parent works weekends. So, it's not like she has to get up early for work. Her only beef is that it's past her other childs bedtime. Not to sound rude, but is that really Dad's problem?

You know, some exes are just looking for ANYTHING to complain about. If it was not the time, it would be the airport. If it was not the airport, it would be the drive to the airport. If it was not the drive it would be the airplane peanuts are too salty...

You might just need to wait and see if she's complaining just to complain, or actually going to file something. Some exes like to threaten, but they won't follow through. What do you think?

 

[proud_parent]

However, there IS also another parent to think about. Again, using my own situation as an example. (And my kids are older, so we don't necessarily have a bedtime to consider.) Flight gets in at 8:30, let's say. While the kids aren't permitted to check bags going (Dad has made that clear), they are allowed to check them coming home. So, but the time they get off the plane and out past security, figure 9pm. 9:30 before their baggage comes through. 9:45/10pm to get to the car and out of the lot. 1 1/2 hours home, IF there's no traffic. 11:15/30. EXCEPT.... neither kid has had dinner. Which I never know until they actually get off the plane. I can ask, and get yes'd that he's taking them to eat before the flight. So add another 15/20/30 minutes to get them food. So - midnight-ish by the time we ACTUALLY get home. Three dogs who are excited to rediscover their kids.

And while THEY may not have to go to school the next morning, guess who has to be at work at 8am?

Just a flip side to consider. (And yes, I pay for my share of the tickets.)

You're preaching to the choir. I don't disagree with a thing you are saying.

My DH went through the same hassle when his ex would insist on changing their 9:00am exchange (2 hours from our home) to 9:00pm the previous evening due to her "suddenly" having to work that weekend. And ex would turn up an hour late. And DH and SD would not get home until midnight, perhaps later if DH stopped to get her something to eat. And I would be waiting up to help tuck stepdaughter quietly into bed so as not to wake our infant.

We went so far on one occasion as to drive the four hours ourselves (pre-infant) on Friday night, book a hotel room, and pick up SD at her home at 7:00am before her Mom left for work, then drive the four hours back, so that five-year-old kiddo wouldn't have to be up all hours and her Dad (who'd had to work all day Friday) wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel.

So I know that consideration for the child and for the other parent do go along way.

However, I find it telling that this child's mother didn't object on the nine-year-old's behalf, but on her own behalf and on behalf of brand new daughter.

 

[proud_parent]

You know, some exes are just looking for ANYTHING to complain about. If it was not the time, it would be the airport. If it was not the airport, it would be the drive to the airport. If it was not the drive it would be the airplane peanuts are too salty...

You might just need to wait and see if she's complaining just to complain, or actually going to file something. Some exes like to threaten, but they won't follow through. What do you think?

ITA.

If Dad wants to take the high road, he can switch the flight and incur the cost himself.

Or, he can call Mom's bluff.

Either way, I don't see Mom prevailing in court.

 

[amberlea434]

You know, some exes are just looking for ANYTHING to complain about. If it was not the time, it would be the airport. If it was not the airport, it would be the drive to the airport. If it was not the drive it would be the airplane peanuts are too salty...

You might just need to wait and see if she's complaining just to complain, or actually going to file something. Some exes like to threaten, but they won't follow through. What do you think?

I agree, she spews venom quite often when he doesn't bow down to meet her needs. If she had any other reason as to why it's inconvenient for her to pick the child up at 8:30, I'm sure Dad would work something out with her. But, she's using her other childs bedtime as a reason. And she's had since February to work out other arrangements for the child. To me, it just sounds petty. But, that doesn't mean she still won't try to file something. Could Dad ask for attorney's fees if this does go infront of a judge?

 

[penelope10]

I completely understand where you're coming from and thank you for sharing your situation. Every time Dad can book flights on the weekends, he does, because neither parent works weekends. So, it's not like she has to get up early for work. Her only beef is that it's past her other childs bedtime. Not to sound rude, but is that really Dad's problem?

Well,that is a flip side I never even thought of...

 

[proud_parent]

I agree, she spews venom quite often when he doesn't bow down to meet her needs. If she had any other reason as to why it's inconvenient for her to pick the child up at 8:30, I'm sure Dad would work something out with her. But, she's using her other childs bedtime as a reason. And she's had since February to work out other arrangements for the child. To me, it just sounds petty. But, that doesn't mean she still won't try to file something. Could Dad ask for attorney's fees if this does go infront of a judge?

He can always ask.

My advice would be yes, absolutely ask for fees IF this goes to court. AND if this should go to court before the date of travel, ask to be reimbursed for any costs associated with rescheduling the flight.

 

[Humusluvr]

However, I find it telling that this child's mother didn't object on the nine-year-old's behalf, but on her own behalf and on behalf of brand new daughter.

I think you get the "Reading between the lines" award of the day!

 

[amberlea434]

However, I find it telling that this child's mother didn't object on the nine-year-old's behalf, but on her own behalf and on behalf of brand new daughter.

That about sums it up. She never once mentioned the 9yo.

 

[amberlea434]

He can always ask.

My advice would be yes, absolutely ask for fees IF this goes to court. AND if this should go to court before the date of travel, ask to be reimbursed for any costs associated with rescheduling the flight.

Thank you very much.

 

[proud_parent]

I think you get the "Reading between the lines" award of the day!

A skill I'm honing through constant experience. And those lines I read between are typically drawn with poison pen.

I was tempted to say "with crayon".... but that would have been insulting to all innocent, crayon-wielding kiddos out there.

 

[amberlea434]

A little OT from legal advice, but...does anyone have any personal advice on how to handle this situation? How should Dad tactfully respond to her? (This was all in an email he received this morning.)

 

[proud_parent]

Thank you very much.

You are most welcome.

I hope that your stepdaughter has a marvelous summer.

 

[proud_parent]

A little OT from legal advice, but...does anyone have any personal advice on how to handle this situation? How should Dad tactfully respond to her? (This was all in an email he received this morning.)

How about this for an email reply:

Ex,

You are right. I'm very sorry about the inconvenience to you on this particular occasion, and I hope that you will be able to make suitable arrangements for (eight-month-old) by summer's end. Truthfully, when I booked these flights I was thinking only of (nine-year-old) and what arrangements would allow her the most quality time with me this summer.

I will be more mindful of selecting flight times convenient to you in the future.

Regards,
Dad


Ignore the threat of court. Save the mention of costs to reschedule the flight for the next round, if there is one.

 

[LdiJ]

I agree, she spews venom quite often when he doesn't bow down to meet her needs. If she had any other reason as to why it's inconvenient for her to pick the child up at 8:30, I'm sure Dad would work something out with her. But, she's using her other childs bedtime as a reason. And she's had since February to work out other arrangements for the child. To me, it just sounds petty. But, that doesn't mean she still won't try to file something. Could Dad ask for attorney's fees if this does go infront of a judge?

There is one thing that dad might want to check out, just to be certain that there isn't a problem. Unaccompanied minors are not allowed to take the last flight of the day...in case something happens and there is a delay or the flight gets grounded. However, errors are sometimes made and the minor gets booked on the flight anyway.

If that happens, the child could be turned away at check-in, and not be allowed to board the plane....which would really make a mess.

So, just in case, check that out.

 

[Humusluvr]

A little OT from legal advice, but...does anyone have any personal advice on how to handle this situation? How should Dad tactfully respond to her? (This was all in an email he received this morning.)

Dear Ex,

I read your email this morning.

When we planned the visitation back in February, we put this flight together for our daughter.

In order to change the times now, it would require a $100 fee, and possibly a difference in fares. I'll check on that and email the amount to you later on today. You can write me a check, and then I'll take care of the change.

Just let me know!

Thanks!
Me