ROFR and sleepovers

[doc2b]

has this ever been an issue with mom since the order has been made? maybe mom would stupilate to a change in the 2 hour time frame as well? the kids are older and it just makes sense to make it 8 or 12 hours. it would save court time if mom and dad agreed. shoot, i'd agree to sleepovers.

Yes, it has been an issue. She wants to adhere strictly to the two hours when hubby's time is concerned, but not with hers. So he has never gone over two hours because she would flip out about it. A couple weeks ago she threatened to take "court action" because I (stepmom) took the kids to church without their dad present. It lasted less than two hours, but somehow she thinks that an hour and a half is close enough to consider it contempt of a court order because she wasn't offered ROFR...it's like this with everything, he's had to walk on eggshells for this woman.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes, it has been an issue. She wants to adhere strictly to the two hours when hubby's time is concerned, but not with hers. So he has never gone over two hours because she would flip out about it. A couple weeks ago she threatened to take "court action" because I (stepmom) took the kids to church without their dad present. It lasted less than two hours, but somehow she thinks that an hour and a half is close enough to consider it contempt of a court order because she wasn't offered ROFR...it's like this with everything, he's had to walk on eggshells for this woman.

Ok...now that is absolutely ridiculous. Dad needs to stop walking on eggshells and start standing up to mom. Again, dad is not unavailable, he is merely allowing the children to go to church with you. In addition, who is informing mom of everything that is going on at dad's house? If its the kids, there is nothing you can do about that, but if its dad, he needs to stop doing that, because its none of mom's business.

ROFR refers to babysitting. It could even refer to dad leaving the children with you while he goes and does something else. However it does not refer to going to church, or sleepovers with friends, or a visit with grandma and grandpa, or any other occasion where dad is available, but permits the kids to do something that doesn't include him. Let mom take him to court for contempt......let the judge deal with mom.

 

[doc2b]

In addition, who is informing mom of everything that is going on at dad's house? If its the kids, there is nothing you can do about that, but if its dad, he needs to stop doing that, because its none of mom's business.

It's the kids telling their mom-because she hounds them when they go back to her house about what they've done and who it was with. She's always seemed to be trying to build a case against their dad and needs every little tidbit of information. I feel bad for them, and so does their dad, but you can't tell THEM to tell her it's none of her business. He has always told them to just tell her whatever she wants to know because he's never violated the terms of the JOD. She's so desperate to make a case for herself to get more custody, she stretched a time exchange that the two of them made to sound like he failed to utilize his parenting time (She asked to get them a day early for a family event, then planned a sleepover at her house that night. Hubby assumed she was keeping them into the next day, which she was supposed to get the kids at 2pm anyway. A week later, he gets an email that she "informs" him that he forfeited his parenting time for that Sunday because he didn't go get the kids...who were having a sleepover, anyway. )

 

[LdiJ]

It's the kids telling their mom-because she hounds them when they go back to her house about what they've done and who it was with. She's always seemed to be trying to build a case against their dad and needs every little tidbit of information. I feel bad for them, and so does their dad, but you can't tell THEM to tell her it's none of her business. He has always told them to just tell her whatever she wants to know because he's never violated the terms of the JOD. She's so desperate to make a case for herself to get more custody, she stretched a time exchange that the two of them made to sound like he failed to utilize his parenting time (She asked to get them a day early for a family event, then planned a sleepover at her house that night. Hubby assumed she was keeping them into the next day, which she was supposed to get the kids at 2pm anyway. A week later, he gets an email that she "informs" him that he forfeited his parenting time for that Sunday because he didn't go get the kids...who were having a sleepover, anyway. )

That is a real shame. However, if dad stand up to her and she files for contempt, its likely that the judge is going to rip her a new one....so I really don't think he needs to be walking on eggshells. It might do her a world of good to have a new one ripped by the judge.

 

[wileybunch]

She wants to adhere strictly to the two hours when hubby's time is concerned, but not with hers.

Oh, but of course. So let me guess -- the 2 hour ROFR (dumb dumb idea) was Mom's idea and ended up in CO, but she never intended it to apply to her, but she thought she would enjoy the control it gave her over Dad? Since she does try to enforce it, I would want it changed. It's just dumb (or did I say that already)?

 

[doc2b]

Oh, but of course. So let me guess -- the 2 hour ROFR (dumb dumb idea) was Mom's idea and ended up in CO, but she never intended it to apply to her, but she thought she would enjoy the control it gave her over Dad? Since she does try to enforce it, I would want it changed. It's just dumb (or did I say that already)?

Nope, it was dad's attorney's idea...she said it would keep mom from doing a "dump and run" with the kids at the neighbors, park, etc. It didn't, but dad always follows the rules, so here we are. Backfire much...? I'll suggest he try to change it, so we'll see.

 

[wileybunch]

Nope, it was dad's attorney's idea...she said it would keep mom from doing a "dump and run" with the kids at the neighbors, park, etc. It didn't, but dad always follows the rules, so here we are. Backfire much...? I'll suggest he try to change it, so we'll see.

Ah, that stinks! LOL! Yeah, that one backfired (as attempts to overly control other parent often do).