if agreement says 6 - can you be late or does that forfeit your rights?

[Mommy Of 3]

What is the name of your state? Texas

The father of our children is telling me that if I do not pick my babies up on time, that I forfeit my rights to get them for the weekend. (The agreement says pick up at 6 on Friday and return 6 pm on Sunday). I told him I would get there as close to 6 as possible, but he told me it had to be 6 or he was leaving and I would not get to see our children for another 3 weeks.

Is this true? Does he have the right to do this? I gave him notice that I was going to be late due to working on the complete other side of town and having to travel through houston traffic. He told me that he has the right to refuse me. Does he?

**Answers to some of the questions below:
I am not habitually late. I work in downtown Houston and he moved my kids in with his girlfriend of one month in Tomball. (40minutes away w/o traffic) Once he moved, due to traffic, I was unable to make it there by 6 every day. It was hit or miss, but I also asked if we could change the time to 6:30 which he doesn't have a problem with unless he's mad at me. I always give him notice. I always call him if I'm running behind, but never run behind past 6:30. I HAVE changed my work schedule, but in Houston, it still doesn't allow time for me to make it there by 6. He knows that it's difficult for me and that is why he tells me that I cannot get them at 6:30 and that I forfeit my rights. He DOES have somewhere to be and that is at his dad's house who lives 5 minutes from me, but he tells me I cannot pick them up there, I HAVE to drive to Tomball even if he's coming to my side of town.

The agreement specifically says 6 for pick up time, but there is no verbage regarding forfeiting my rights for the weekend if I am late. I'm working on having the agreement amended, but I cannot afford an attorney right now.

Most of my money went with cancer treatments and child support (which I have no problems paying and haven't missed a payment yet). The cancer was the reason the agreement was put into place to begin with. I'm in remission now so circumstances have changed and my ex knows that so he is trying to make it look as though I don't want my kids by saying I don't show up when I'm supposed to, even though I do the best I can.

 

[Pearl72]

What does your order specifically say? Does it state anywhere of a leeway time, ie: 30 min window? Does it say anywhere in your court order that if your late that you forfeit your time with your kids?

 

[Zigner]

If you showed up at 6:05 and the other party had already left - and if this happened more than as a one-time thing, then I feel the other party would get blasted by the judge if you were to seek a contempt charge in court.

 

[penelope10]

If you showed up at 6:05 and the other party had already left - and if this happened more than as a one-time thing, then I feel the other party would get blasted by the judge if you were to seek a contempt charge in court.

I tend to agree with that. If you had a perpetual history of being late (and I'm talking about more than 5 minutes) Dad might have a leg to stand on if he tried to get the order modified.

But Dad would have to have prove that you were late on multiple occasions. And that your intent WAS to be late IMO. People can be late picking up kiddos during the week due to traffic--that's something out of their control.

Do you call Dad when it looks like you may be late?

 

[BL]

As long as you make an effort to get there within 15-20 minutes and/or notify him of the delay , he should not pull that .

A Judge would not be too happy .

I can see the bring home time becoming an issue , but a few minutes pick - up threat .

I think that's out of line .

I've seen an order on pick-up @ 10.00 AM ( which was sometimes late a few minutes ) , and drop off NO LATER than 6:30 PM .

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Texas

The father of my children is telling me that if I do not pick my babies up on time, that I forfeit my rights to get them for the weekend. (The agreement says pick up at 6 on Friday and return 6 pm on Sunday). I told him I would get there as close to 6 as possible, but he told me it had to be 6 or he was leaving and I would not get to see my children for another 3 weeks.

Is this true? Does he have the right to do this? I gave him notice that I was going to be late due to working on the complete other side of town and having to travel through houston traffic. He told me that he has the right to refuse me. Does he?

Unless your orders specifically state that you forfeit your time if you don't arrive within a certain amount of time (usually at least 30 minutes) then dad is full of it. The entire weekend is your time. You could show up on Saturday instead of Friday and he would still have to turn the kids over to you. Now, that doesn't mean that he is hostage to the home for the whole weekend if you don't show up. What that means is that he has to let you know where he and the kids will be, so that you can pick them up from whereever he is.

So, if you are a few minutes late and he is not there, then call the police and make a report, and then take dad's butt to court for contempt, so that the judge will "explain" to him that he is in the wrong.

HOWEVER, if you are habitually VERY late, its also possible that the judge would then put a restriction into the orders, that states that you have to show by a specific time (usually 30 minutes leeway) or you forfeit the visit.

There should be nothing more important to you than picking up your kids. So if there is something that is causing you to be habitually late, then you need to change that something.

 

[BL]

Unless your orders specifically state that you forfeit your time if you don't arrive within a certain amount of time (usually at least 30 minutes) then dad is full of it. The entire weekend is your time. You could show up on Saturday instead of Friday and he would still have to turn the kids over to you. Now, that doesn't mean that he is hostage to the home for the whole weekend if you don't show up. What that means is that he has to let you know where he and the kids will be, so that you can pick them up from whereever he is.

So, if you are a few minutes late and he is not there, then call the police and make a report, and then take dad's butt to court for contempt, so that the judge will "explain" to him that he is in the wrong.

HOWEVER, if you are habitually VERY late, its also possible that the judge would then put a restriction into the orders, that states that you have to show by a specific time (usually 30 minutes leeway) or you forfeit the visit.

There should be nothing more important to you than picking up your kids. So if there is something that is causing you to be habitually late, then you need to change that something.

Or modify the orders and times .

 

[LdiJ]

Or modify the orders and times .

Yes, that is another option as well....particularly if the problem is work related and can't be changed by re-adjusting work priorities.

 

[waitinMd]

but he told me it had to be 6 or he was leaving and I would not get to see my children for another 3 weeks

sounds like he had vacation plans to me.

my ex was late all the time, at least 15/20 minutes. Sometimes she would call AFTER I got to the meeting place and change the pickup time to later in the day. I got tired of it, and when she'd do that, I'd say, OK pickup was 3pm, she said 7pm, I'd say I can't come back until 8:30pm.

Once I was going away for 2 days and told her to be on time. She called and said she didn't have a car, I said see in 3 days.....and I left.

so it is possible Dad is tired of Mom being late, especially if he has plans.

 

[Humusluvr]

My ex is the MASTER of the mind mess.

He would tell me, "I'll be there at 5." I'm obsessive about being on time. I'd be ready at 4:45. He would show up at 6, after calling me twice in the day to remind me it was 5.

I would be fuming mad by 6, and he would saunter in and say, "I know you are always late, so I didn't want to have to wait for you.

My ex is seriously the king of turning everything around on me.

 

[StampGirl]

Seriously, you do NOT need an attorney to modify the pick up time.

FIle the paperwork explaining you need a later pick up time or even to possibly meet halfway between your work and his house. Also explain the reason why: traffic. No one can plan around THAT!!

Since you stated that in your CO it says nothing about you forfeiting your weekend because you are late, your ex can't do that.

Good luck.

 

[LdiJ]

Op, please do not answer our questions by editing your original post. Please simply post responses like we are doing.

 

[penelope10]

You can hit the quote button to answer someone's specific question, or to reply to what a particular person says. Or you can just hit the post button. Most of us won't go back to the original post in a thread for updates from an OP. (Took me a while to get the hang of stuff---still learning myself).

 

[Mommy Of 3]

You can hit the quote button to answer someone's specific question, or to reply to what a particular person says. Or you can just hit the post button. Most of us won't go back to the original post in a thread for updates from an OP. (Took me a while to get the hang of stuff---still learning myself).

Thanks for the tip. I appreciate that!

 

[sour*tart]

My fiancee's ex is either an hour or a day late and so far I couldnt dream of my fiancee pulling this, so for your ex to do it is pretty childish. He is also not trying to keep your parent child relationship in contact.