Phone calls and alienation

[LdiJ]

Let me hold my order up to the screen for you then, LDi. My order states exactly that.

Your order states that the kids have to call dad? Rather than the reverse? Did the judge order that or did you agree to that?

Ok...now I have seen one.

 

[bononos again]

the kids are 17 and 11. I dont know if i shoulkd get into semantics but you stated I cant MAKE someone call me. "MAKE" is maybe the wrong word.....But i cant think of a better one off the bat. However, I "make" my kids go to school.....I "make" my kids brush their teeth....they do it out of repsect of their elders that they have been "made" to respect their whole lives. Hopefully, all parents "make" their kids do things. Maybe Im mixing a legal answer and a philosophical answer...but we all "make" our kids do things they might not want to do.

I agree here totally.
How hard is it for a kid to take 5 minutes out of their evening to call and touch base.
We as parents bug our kids, or should be bugging our kids, about where their going, what they did, who their with, what happened at school, how was practice, etc... ALL DAY LONG!!! It should not be a bother to talk for 5 minutes about their day.
I'm glad you discovered it in the CO.

 

[LdiJ]

I am going to add something here that I have given advice about in other threads, because I do think its very important.

OP, your child is 17, in less than 12 months the court will no longer have any jurisidiction over her whatsoever, and she will be in complete control of when, and how often, she spends time with you. From that point on your legal relationship with your daughter will be that of two related adults. You will have no say in her life, other than the say that she gives you. You will however, be required to continue to pay child support until she graduates from high school.

You have to decide now, what you want that relationship to be, because the choices you make now will have a huge impact on that relationship....and that relationship is going to last a whole lot longer than the childhood one did.

If your daughter is basically a good kid, then you need to give her some say in what goes on...limited say, but some. Otherwise, you may totally lose her when she turns 18. That is not a legal answer, that's a personal opinion based on many years of observations of life. Once a child gets to be that age, as long as they are basically good kids, doing their best in school, are on their way to being productive adults, its time to loosen the apron strings just a tad.

Now, by no means I am suggesting that your daughter should be allowed to decide that she is going to stop visiting you altogether. She absolutely should not be allowed to do that. But personally, I think that she should have been allowed to take that week at camp.

 

[StampGirl]

Your order states that the kids have to call dad? Rather than the reverse? Did the judge order that or did you agree to that?

Ok...now I have seen one.

I know you aren't referring to me but....

Yes it does say that and at the time my kids were all 6yrs and under. INCLUDING the baby. I didn't like it, I didn't agree to it but then again the JUDGE didn't give me much of a choice did he?

 

[suenoloco]

Thanks for all the opinions...counsel....ideas....but no one has answered my question about the GAL

 

[LdiJ]

I know you aren't referring to me but....

Yes it does say that and at the time my kids were all 6yrs and under. INCLUDING the baby. I didn't like it, I didn't agree to it but then again the JUDGE didn't give me much of a choice did he?

That really is odd, for both you and Stealth and I don't quite understand the judge's logic.

 

[StampGirl]

Thanks for all the opinions...counsel....ideas....but no one has answered my question about the GAL

Oops didn't see the question about the GAL. Stay tuned. OhioGAL will be around soon I hope. She is a GAL and can answer your questions about that.

 

[StampGirl]

That really is odd, for both you and Stealth and I don't quite understand the judge's logic.

It is not for me to question. It is what it is. The mediator as recently as Dec wouldn't even recommend it taken out or revised.

 

[stepmom04]

Yes, my husbands order states that the children are to call anytime they want. But whenever they want, not whenever you want. I understand that dude wants to talk to his kids, but geez they have lives. If you want to talk to them, and they haven't called you...call them. If mom is not giving the messages or doesn't let them call you...then that sucks. Deal with that...not that she doesn't "make" them call you everynight.

 

[suenoloco]

Yes, my husbands order states that the children are to call anytime they want. But whenever they want, not whenever you want. I understand that dude wants to talk to his kids, but geez they have lives. If you want to talk to them, and they haven't called you...call them. If mom is not giving the messages or doesn't let them call you...then that sucks. Deal with that...not that she doesn't "make" them call you everynight.

First of all, mom has nothing to do with it. She doesnt have to remind them. She doesnt have to dial the phone. They each have their own cell phone. They are 11 and 17....so they know how to call. They dont mind calling. Ive never had to disciplinbe either one for not calling. Neither one has told me they dont want to call. The issue is that is drives the EX crazy and she tells them they dont have to call. To my mind...she is telling them that they dont have to mind me. Is Her telling them (IMO) that they dont have to mind me (in so many words) alienation? That was the question. I think what I got was that ...no...thats not alienation. Im ok with that answer.

 

[Silverplum]

I think OP wouldn't appreciate the advice from an overbearing Step-Parent.
OP doesn't have to"deal with it". He has a CO you ninny.
Kids lives should not be so busy as to not have 5 minutes in the evening to call their PARENT.

The loons got out and are under the (entirely mistaken) impression that they are running the asylum.

 

[Silverplum]

First of all, mom has nothing to do with it. She doesnt have to remind them. She doesnt have to dial the phone. They each have their own cell phone. They are 11 and 17....so they know how to call. They dont mind calling. Ive never had to disciplinbe either one for not calling. Neither one has told me they dont want to call. The issue is that is drives the EX crazy and she tells them they dont have to call. To my mind...she is telling them that they dont have to mind me. Is Her telling them (IMO) that they dont have to mind me (in so many words) alienation? That was the question. I think what I got was that ...no...thats not alienation. Im ok with that answer.

No need to answer that poster, dude.

 

[StampGirl]

I think OP wouldn't appreciate the advice from an overbearing Step-Parent.
OP doesn't have to"deal with it". He has a CO you ninny.
Kids lives should not be so busy as to not have 5 minutes in the evening to call their PARENT.

YOU need to go back to the rock you crawled out from under.

She is not an overbearing stepmom. She just needs to learn where to let her husband step up and be the Dad.

She means well and believe me thats more than most stepkids have.

 

[StampGirl]

The loons got out and are under the (entirely mistaken) impression that they are running the asylum.

OK.... WHO left the gate open?????????????????? LOL

 

[Humusluvr]

OK.... WHO left the gate open?????????????????? LOL

I think the llamas pushed it open. That's what happen when they get a hold of pudding laden with rum.