I know the rules and apologize in advance

[acmb05]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee.

Ok I have a guy that works for me who has been living with his girlfriend for over a year now. Problem is she is still legally married to someone in the military. She has a child with this person and now has had another child with the guy who works for me. Now I know that legally the husband is the father.

Problem, the husband is coming back from Korea next week and going to his home state of Michigan. He is planning on filing papers for divorce. He is planning on trying to get both children. My question is what can the guy that works for me do to start an action in Tennessee for paternity? His girlfriend is currently in Michigan visiting her parents. I told her she needed to start the divorce down here but of course she did not do that and now is going to screw herself because she can't get back here in time to file before he gets home to Michigan and files.

I told him to go to child support enforcement here this morning and ask them but not sure what they could do if anything to get the ball rolling here. He cannot afford a lawyer but may get some help from legal aid, I am taking him there today also.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee.

Ok I have a guy that works for me who has been living with his girlfriend for over a year now. Problem is she is still legally married to someone in the military. She has a child with this person and now has had another child with the guy who works for me. Now I know that legally the husband is the father.

Problem, the husband is coming back from Korea next week and going to his home state of Michigan. He is planning on filing papers for divorce. He is planning on trying to get both children. My question is what can the guy that works for me do to start an action in Tennessee for paternity? His girlfriend is currently in Michigan visiting her parents. I told her she needed to start the divorce down here but of course she did not do that and now is going to screw herself because she can't get back here in time to file before he gets home to Michigan and files.

I told him to go to child support enforcement here this morning and ask them but not sure what they could do if anything to get the ball rolling here. He cannot afford a lawyer but may get some help from legal aid, I am taking him there today also.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

He needs to file a suit for paternity...not for child support, although that will go along with it. He doesn't go through the child support agency to do that.

Despite the fact that the husband is the presumed legal father, did your employee sign the AOP at the hospital? Whose name (if any) is on the birth certificate?

If the girlfriend wanted to do it, she could get back to TN and file first. She would have to get on a plane today to do it, but she could do it.

 

[acmb05]

He needs to file a suit for paternity...not for child support, although that will go along with it. He doesn't go through the child support agency to do that.

Despite the fact that the husband is the presumed legal father, did your employee sign the AOP at the hospital? Whose name (if any) is on the birth certificate?

If the girlfriend wanted to do it, she could get back to TN and file first. She would have to get on a plane today to do it, but she could do it.

No AOP was signed and no he is not on the birth certificate. They would not put him on it because she is still legally married.

I am trying to persuade her to do that but her parents came and picked her up last week and took her to Michigan and she can't afford to come back until she gets her next check. She is very much a pushover and basically ignores advice because she says she did not want to start a rift between her and her ex.

I know it sounds bad but I really don't care what happens to her regarding her first child but this person is a friend and employee and I would hate to see him lose his child because she is an idiot and would not do anything to get the ball rolling before she left. I even typed up all the papers for her to get it started, all she had to do was take them to the court house and file them.

 

[acmb05]

I will take him to legal aid this morning and see what they can do. If nothing then I will front him the money to get an attorney for this.

 

[stealth2]

she is an idiot

Wait - he conceived a child with a married woman and SHE's the idiot?

 

[Humusluvr]

I will take him to legal aid this morning and see what they can do. If nothing then I will front him the money to get an attorney for this.

Its really not your fight. Unless you can afford to give him the money (as a gift) and then watch him continue to not do anything - you should just step back and let the employee fight this out. Unless he's like 12 years old, he should step up to the plate, not you holding his hand.

 

[acmb05]

Wait - he conceived a child with a married woman and SHE's the idiot?

Yes I know, He is not to bright either. However on his defense they were seperated for awhile before he started dating her.

 

[acmb05]

Its really not your fight. Unless you can afford to give him the money (as a gift) and then watch him continue to not do anything - you should just step back and let the employee fight this out. Unless he's like 12 years old, he should step up to the plate, not you holding his hand.

Well I can afford to give him the retainer ( taken out if his check every week until paid) The baby is only 3 months old and he was planning on doing this, he was saving the money for a lawyer. All this has come up very quickly because up to this point the girlfriend and her "husband" had been on good terms and were talking about how to best go about the divorce and child custody.

I know, I am not getting too involved in this. Just looking for suggestions to give him today before he hit the lawyers.

 

[Humusluvr]

Well I can afford to give him the retainer ( taken out if his check every week until paid) The baby is only 3 months old and he was planning on doing this, he was saving the money for a lawyer. All this has come up very quickly because up to this point the girlfriend and her "husband" had been on good terms and were talking about how to best go about the divorce and child custody.

I know, I am not getting too involved in this. Just looking for suggestions to give him today before he hit the lawyers.

Tell him that he should not depend on the girlfriend for squat. She has proven to make bad decisions, and the baby is far more important. He can always get a new girlfriend (who is not cheating with her husband with him ) but he can never replace that baby. I hate to see people treat it the other way around.

Tell him to act swiftly, file the motion for paternity and visitation and support TODAY in the county where he and baby and GF reside so that he isn't fighting a long distance custody battle in Michigan. That could get expensive and hassling.

Its his choice here not to lose HIS CHILD. He should not depend on ANYONE but himself.

 

[acmb05]

Tell him that he should not depend on the girlfriend for squat. She has proven to make bad decisions, and the baby is far more important. He can always get a new girlfriend (who is not cheating with her husband with him ) but he can never replace that baby. I hate to see people treat it the other way around.

Tell him to act swiftly, file the motion for paternity and visitation and support TODAY in the county where he and baby and GF reside so that he isn't fighting a long distance custody battle in Michigan. That could get expensive and hassling.

Its his choice here not to lose HIS CHILD. He should not depend on ANYONE but himself.

Thanks, that is why I suggested he start down here as soon as possible. There is no way he could afford to go to Michigan and fight a custody battle. I will also have him sign up on here so that he can ask any questions he may have.

 

[Humusluvr]

Thanks, that is why I suggested he start down here as soon as possible. There is no way he could afford to go to Michigan and fight a custody battle. I will also have him sign up on here so that he can ask any questions he may have.

Good plan. That is a good friend

 

[justalayman]

Thanks, that is why I suggested he start down here as soon as possible. There is no way he could afford to go to Michigan and fight a custody battle. I will also have him sign up on here so that he can ask any questions he may have.

I guess you need to give the kid a raise so he can afford to fight the battle

don;t forget to have a signed permission for the deduct from the paycheck and a method of obtaining the balance should you and he part business ways before the money is all paid back.

 

[acmb05]

I guess you need to give the kid a raise so he can afford to fight the battle

Ummm yea. Can't quite afford that big of a raise

don;t forget to have a signed permission for the deduct from the paycheck and a method of obtaining the balance should you and he part business ways before the money is all paid back.

Definately.

 

[acmb05]

Update

Got him a lawyer through legal aid ( saves me money for now). Papers have been filed for paternity/custody/visitation. At least his part of this mess will be heard here instead of in Michigan if the "husband" files up there.

 

[LdiJ]

Got him a lawyer through legal aid ( saves me money for now). Papers have been filed for paternity/custody/visitation. At least his part of this mess will be heard here instead of in Michigan if the "husband" files up there.

Good! Glad to see that he is getting it in the works!