What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? vt...There is so much going on and I will do my best to ask for advice. My 16 year old daughter has been wanting to come live with me for over a year now and has been telling her dad this. He has full legal and physical custody. (That's Vermont for you). Anyways, She came to my house Sunday quite shaken and upset. She told me that her dad had burned the back of her leg forcing her onto his bike. Then she told me he had grabbed her by her arm lifted her up bodily from a sitting position from the floor at their home and pushed her into a door. No marks were left, other than a small burn on the back of her leg from the motorcycle. She also informed me of all the name calling from him. Bitch, idiot, lazy ****, sensitive bitch, dumb ass, etc. Now I know some parents, not all, tend to get frustrated with teenagers, I have them at home too. But, this seems extreme for a smart articulate 16 year old girl and abusive. Anyways, her dad called my house looking for her and I was not going to let her go, but he came to get her, and my husband said let them talk.
The next morning I called my daughter and she told me she could not live with her father anymore, and that when they talked she was told if she comes to live with me then she is never welcome back at her dad's and she was also told that her grandmother would not help her with college like grandma did with all the kids. He gave my daughter her cell phone back (it was taken from her for the summer as punishment), and he told her was under alot of stress and sorry for hurting her and calling her names. My daughter told him she still wanted to live with mom, and would not accept his apology because it never changes.
That afternoon I called my attorney who told me to file for a restraining order so her dad could no longer abuse her and that it would change custody to me temporarily until a hearing was set. I picked up my daughter at her home and we both went to the courthouse. My attorney told me my daughter was the one who had to decide this is what she really wanted to do. When we got to the court the clerk told me that I had to file on her behalf as the other parent. So I did, I wrote the affidavit but I wrote what my daughter told me when sitting with me: She was sitting on the floor in her living room arguing with her dad to give her a ride to work. Her job is 3 miles from where they live. He told her to get off her lazy ass and walk. She said it was hot and she had a sunburn and told him it takes her too long to walk that distance. She then told him to stop calling her names. That was when he got up grabbed her by her arm, lifted her off the floor and swung her towards the basement door and pushed her into the door telling her to go to her room get ready and start walking to work. She went downstairs, got ready for work and left. She got about 2 miles and saw her dad sitting on his motorcycle. He told her to get on the bike. She said no. She then continued walking. About another 1/2 mile by the schoolyard he again was waiting for her on his bike. He told her to get her ass on the bike or he would physically put her on. She said no, and walked over into the schoolyard and sat on a swing. She said she was scared. Her father went to her and told her get on the bike, she got up and he pushed her towards the bike to get on it, and that is when she felt she had no choice. He then pushed her again while near the bike and it caused the burn on her leg. He took her back home! Then he told her she had to walk to work again! My daughter then told her dad that she would call me to come and get her to bring her to work since he refused to give her a ride, that was when he said F that, I will bring you. After he dropped her off at work, which is two blocks from my home, she came to my home crying and told me everything.
Now, after filing for this and the courts informing us they could call me once the judge decided, we left the courthouse. My daughter had to work so I told her I would drop her off at work and would let her know at work what the courts decided. She told me she had to go home to get her clothes. I told her to pack a small bag too just in case and would leave it in my truck. As soon as I pulled into my ex's driveway a black car pulled in behind us at about 50mph and blocked me in. My ex's sister jumps out of her car and tells my daughter to get out of my truck and get in the house. She then orders me off the property. I told my daughter to stay put. Then my ex pulls in at 50 mph and blocks the other side of me and begins calling me names. My ex's sister said she is calling 911, I said please do. I was not going to leave my daughter in this situation alone. The police show up. They talk to my daughter who tells them also what happened. The police call the courts and nothing had been decided yet. The officer then tells me to leave my daughter there and that he would call me as soon as the courts contact them. I said ok, gave my daughter a hug, told her to be strong and I love her. I also told the police officer that I didn't expect this all to happen and that I am only trying to protect my daughter. He claims he understood.
As soon as I got home the phone rings. The clerk at the courthouse told me I had to come back to the court house to pick up papers for the police to serve my ex, and that the TRO was denied. I was shocked and confused as to why I am being told to go back. I got to the court house and they had me mark a box claiming I intend to pursue my request even though it was denied and that I still request a hearing. The second page the judge claimed the allegations failed to support findings of immediate danger of further abuse and the plaintiff (me) after having the opportunity to do so, has not provided any other evidence to support the request. But, another box was marked by the judge and the judge wrote this.
This case has gone through many hearings in the divorce case. A GAL has been appointed for the children and a forensic evaluation (12 years ago) has been conducted. Custody will not be changed based upon an exparte emergency request. A hearing will be set with notice to both parents and the GAL.
PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND ALL THIS. I only want to protect my daughter. The divorce and forensic evaluation was over 10 years ago. What does that have to do with him abusing his daughter? Plus, when I got to the police station to drop off to them to serve the papers for the hearing which is tomorrow morning, the officer told me I was denied, but shocked he had to serve my ex for a hearing.
I want to understand what I am walking into here. I want to do the right thing and need to understand what to expect. Thanks for your help on this......Faith
The next morning I called my daughter and she told me she could not live with her father anymore, and that when they talked she was told if she comes to live with me then she is never welcome back at her dad's and she was also told that her grandmother would not help her with college like grandma did with all the kids. He gave my daughter her cell phone back (it was taken from her for the summer as punishment), and he told her was under alot of stress and sorry for hurting her and calling her names. My daughter told him she still wanted to live with mom, and would not accept his apology because it never changes.
That afternoon I called my attorney who told me to file for a restraining order so her dad could no longer abuse her and that it would change custody to me temporarily until a hearing was set. I picked up my daughter at her home and we both went to the courthouse. My attorney told me my daughter was the one who had to decide this is what she really wanted to do. When we got to the court the clerk told me that I had to file on her behalf as the other parent. So I did, I wrote the affidavit but I wrote what my daughter told me when sitting with me: She was sitting on the floor in her living room arguing with her dad to give her a ride to work. Her job is 3 miles from where they live. He told her to get off her lazy ass and walk. She said it was hot and she had a sunburn and told him it takes her too long to walk that distance. She then told him to stop calling her names. That was when he got up grabbed her by her arm, lifted her off the floor and swung her towards the basement door and pushed her into the door telling her to go to her room get ready and start walking to work. She went downstairs, got ready for work and left. She got about 2 miles and saw her dad sitting on his motorcycle. He told her to get on the bike. She said no. She then continued walking. About another 1/2 mile by the schoolyard he again was waiting for her on his bike. He told her to get her ass on the bike or he would physically put her on. She said no, and walked over into the schoolyard and sat on a swing. She said she was scared. Her father went to her and told her get on the bike, she got up and he pushed her towards the bike to get on it, and that is when she felt she had no choice. He then pushed her again while near the bike and it caused the burn on her leg. He took her back home! Then he told her she had to walk to work again! My daughter then told her dad that she would call me to come and get her to bring her to work since he refused to give her a ride, that was when he said F that, I will bring you. After he dropped her off at work, which is two blocks from my home, she came to my home crying and told me everything.
Now, after filing for this and the courts informing us they could call me once the judge decided, we left the courthouse. My daughter had to work so I told her I would drop her off at work and would let her know at work what the courts decided. She told me she had to go home to get her clothes. I told her to pack a small bag too just in case and would leave it in my truck. As soon as I pulled into my ex's driveway a black car pulled in behind us at about 50mph and blocked me in. My ex's sister jumps out of her car and tells my daughter to get out of my truck and get in the house. She then orders me off the property. I told my daughter to stay put. Then my ex pulls in at 50 mph and blocks the other side of me and begins calling me names. My ex's sister said she is calling 911, I said please do. I was not going to leave my daughter in this situation alone. The police show up. They talk to my daughter who tells them also what happened. The police call the courts and nothing had been decided yet. The officer then tells me to leave my daughter there and that he would call me as soon as the courts contact them. I said ok, gave my daughter a hug, told her to be strong and I love her. I also told the police officer that I didn't expect this all to happen and that I am only trying to protect my daughter. He claims he understood.
As soon as I got home the phone rings. The clerk at the courthouse told me I had to come back to the court house to pick up papers for the police to serve my ex, and that the TRO was denied. I was shocked and confused as to why I am being told to go back. I got to the court house and they had me mark a box claiming I intend to pursue my request even though it was denied and that I still request a hearing. The second page the judge claimed the allegations failed to support findings of immediate danger of further abuse and the plaintiff (me) after having the opportunity to do so, has not provided any other evidence to support the request. But, another box was marked by the judge and the judge wrote this.
This case has gone through many hearings in the divorce case. A GAL has been appointed for the children and a forensic evaluation (12 years ago) has been conducted. Custody will not be changed based upon an exparte emergency request. A hearing will be set with notice to both parents and the GAL.
PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND ALL THIS. I only want to protect my daughter. The divorce and forensic evaluation was over 10 years ago. What does that have to do with him abusing his daughter? Plus, when I got to the police station to drop off to them to serve the papers for the hearing which is tomorrow morning, the officer told me I was denied, but shocked he had to serve my ex for a hearing.
I want to understand what I am walking into here. I want to do the right thing and need to understand what to expect. Thanks for your help on this......Faith
