Turning phone off for school nights

[terp]

A daily phone call doesn't always have to be before bedtime. Why not negotiate a time after school when Dad can take his break (around 4ish). That should be smack in the middle of homework time but maybe your daughter might enjoy talking about school and getting Dad's help with homework instead of the "good night" call. I know my son sometimes enjoys that time a bit better. He is easier to engage in a conversation.

Just a suggestion. Might make your life a bit easier too. less to fit into the bedtime routine!

 

[Bloopy]

My stepson and daughter go to bed at 8pm on the dot. If they dont they get extremely tired and exhausted by the end of the week. This year I have let them stay up some nights until 8:30 but even then you can tell a BIG difference in them. My stepson's mother was told of his bedtime long ago and that he would not be able to talk past 8pm and we stick to that. However if this dad is getting off at 8 I would try to be a little flexible. My stepson's mother didnt work and my husband's sister had custody of her 2nd child so she really didnt have much to say with conflict.

This dad sounds like he's trying and Im glad you let him call to talk to her after 8. I would also encourage him , maybe on his days off , to call earlier and they would get more time to talk .

Nothing wrong with an 8:00 bedtime and I'm glad it works for everyone in your situation.

But children, even your's and OP's, could adjust to 8:30 if it is done reguarly. In the case of you children, it's the "some nights" that's killing them.

Kiddo can slop hogs at 5:30am instead for example.

 

[Bloopy]

Completely off-topic, but I hate you people! My kids never slept! They still don't, but now that they are 17 1/2 and 21, it's not as bad for me.

My dariln' slept for 12 glorious hours until she turned 3 (recently).

Now Houdini wakes up at the crack of dawn and escapes the crib she insists on sleeping in.

She wakes us or worse, fends for herself...

We've been trying to give up the crib, but then she gets up in the night to sleep in stange places... under the kitchen table, under the dog, in a laundy basket, in a drawer...

TMI. I know.

 

[CJane]

Completely off-topic, but I hate you people! My kids never slept! They still don't, but now that they are 17 1/2 and 21, it's not as bad for me.

If it makes you feel any better, the girls didn't sleep ... it was sheer hell getting either of them into bed until the nearly 12 year old was 8 and the younger was 6 or so. Twain though, he's a sleeping machine... I've heard it's a boy thing. I know that the boys in my extended family have always been good sleepers. The girls not so much.

Twain also will come to me in the middle of the day and ask if it's ok to take a nap.

 

[lovemydaughter]

I should have added this important point. My daughter is autistic. Earlier phonecalls are not possible he is a mgr. of a bill collections place. On several occasions he has phoned when I am at pickup and then tried 5 min later and become quite angry when parent pickup lasts hour and a half. Does no good to remind he never remembers.

No interest in phoning on day off and the evening of said day they are at church so they do not phone on that day nor has there been any interest for day visits but that's another thread.

I do want to be flexible and don't mean to sound rigid but am nervous with first posting.

Wanted to edit one more time I just tried but didn't see it upon returning to the thread she is hard to wake up if she dozes off anywhere near 9pm. One day last week she was out by 8.40 and woke up at 5.45 ready for her day.

 

[Farfalla]

Completely off-topic, but I hate you people! My kids never slept! They still don't, but now that they are 17 1/2 and 21, it's not as bad for me.

I'm with you... mine never slept... But now.... now they are 18, 19 and 21..... when they do not have a full schedule they will sleep all day... I dont' get it.

 

[Bloopy]

I should have added this important point. My daughter is autistic. Earlier phonecalls are not possible he is a mgr. of a bill collections place. On several occasions he has phoned when I am at pickup and then tried 5 min later and become quite angry when parent pickup lasts hour and a half. Does no good to remind he never remembers.

No interest in phoning on day off and the evening of said day they are at church so they do not phone on that day nor has there been any interest for day visits but that's another thread.

I do want to be flexible and don't mean to sound rigid but am nervous with first posting.

Wanted to edit one more time I just tried but didn't see it upon returning to the thread she is hard to wake up if she dozes off anywhere near 9pm. One day last week she was out by 8.40 and woke up at 5.45 ready for her day.

A child with Autism often benefits from a schedule.

The New Schedule can now reflect 8:30 or even 8:45 as a bedtime.

It's having a schedule that is important, not the time selected. A child with Autism is still entitled to a relationship with Dad and the night calls seem the easiest to schedule if you allow.

 

[lovemydaughter]

Ok that is fair. I prefer him to call from the car as he has quite a long drive back home is that ok?

 

[TheGeekess]

Ok that is fair. I prefer him to call from the car as he has quite a long drive back home is that ok?

If he's willing and has a hands-free unit.

 

[Zephyr]

my 6 year old goes to bed at 9 every night....there are no sleep problems.....

 

[wileybunch]

she is hard to wake up if she dozes off anywhere near 9pm. One day last week she was out by 8.40 and woke up at 5.45 ready for her day.

It's still not clear what time she has to wake up. Is 5:45AM her "must get up" time? If not, what is it?

 

[lovemydaughter]

This morning she woke up herself at 7.15 that's what I want is for her to be rested enough she wakes up on her own.

 

[wileybunch]

This morning she woke up herself at 7.15 that's what I want is for her to be rested enough she wakes up on her own.

It's hard to answer your original question without the facts needed. What time does DD NEED to wake up in the morning? If there is no set time, then bedtime isn't an issue. If there is a set time, then it's just math backing up from there. As CJane and others have pointed out, since you said DD needs 8 hrs sleep/night, unless DD has to wake up at 5AM, she could be on the phone until 9PM, assuming she then goes straight to bed. FWIW, I'm surprised that your DD only needs 8 hrs sleep/night. Isn't 10 more the norm? I know my kids need it and when they don't get it, they go quickly downhill.

 

[CJane]

This morning she woke up herself at 7.15 that's what I want is for her to be rested enough she wakes up on her own.

How practical is that desire really? Some nights, kiddo is going to need 10 hours of sleep, some nights only 6 or so. It depends on how tired she was, whether her nutritional needs are met, the quality of sleep she's getting, etc.

Gawd, usually I do just fine on 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night. In bed around 1130/12 and up at 530 or so. But the other night, I fell asleep at 9 w/my 2 year old and slept straight through until almost 630.

Is she homeschooled?

It's difficult to preach 'sleep schedule' if you're only really interested in scheduling bed time and not wake up time. A true sleep schedule involves going to bed w/in 30 minutes of the same time every night and waking up w/in 30 minutes of the same time every morning. 'Allowing' your child to 'wake herself up' when she's 'rested' is actually creating a much more erratic schedule than anything else.

 

[Neal1421]

Here's a thought, why not just have her call dad before she goes to sleep?