Name change?

[CJane]

I know this isnt legal advice but this is kind of my point. If she gets married then what? i dont say that to just say it, my oldest brother is prime example of this situation. Like I said, he has his ex-step father's last name, and his kids carry that last name now when they should not.

That's apparently your brother's CHOICE though. Because when you get married? You could draw a random last name out of a hat for you and your spouse to share. Want you new lastname to be Bananahammock? Go right on ahead. No problem.

And at birth? You can give your KIDS any last name you want. I could have a kid named William Gates if I wanted to. No one could have told me no. It's not either/or - Mom or Dad.

And when you're in the situation you're in regarding this child's mother and your fiance/wife ... don't play the 'I'm a traditional guy' card. It rings a bit hollow.

If/when D'man and I get married, I will have 2 girls w/their Dad and SMom's last name, a boy w/his Father's last name and I will share D'man's last name. Does that make us LESS of a family?

My mom has my SDad's last name. My step-sibs from my step-dad have THEIR step-dad's last name. My sisters that aren't married have my Dad's last name, I have my ex-husband's last name, my sister that just got married took her husband's name and her 2 kids are going to hyphenate their Dad's last name with their step-dad's last name.

This isn't colonial days when your last name actually said something about you and your lineage.

 

[Nevergrowup]

. Want you new lastname to be Bananahammock?

Or Princess Bananahammock? Gotta love Friends

 

[CJane]

Or Princess Bananahammock? Gotta love Friends

That's Princess Consuela BananaHammock to YOU!

 

[proud_parent]

This isn't colonial days when your last name actually said something about you and your lineage.

It isn't?

*checks calendar*

Bummer. And here I was hoping to name my next girl "Annette Trollswattersdottir". Catchy, no?

 

[sometwo]

I honestly see the point of the name change. I think with the child so young it is very likely to happen.

Given that, my last name was my mom's maiden name. I dont know who my father is. I was raised by my grandparents and so my last name was the same as theirs and it fit so I never really though about me not having the same last name as my mom anymore (the 3 different times she was married) or my sisters. I guess it just wasnt a big deal. I did long to know who my dad was though and still do. My point is having a dad or mom in the picture who loves and cares for you is far more important than just a name .

 

[MARL745]

That's apparently your brother's CHOICE though. Because when you get married? You could draw a random last name out of a hat for you and your spouse to share. Want you new lastname to be Bananahammock? Go right on ahead. No problem.

And at birth? You can give your KIDS any last name you want. I could have a kid named William Gates if I wanted to. No one could have told me no. It's not either/or - Mom or Dad.

And when you're in the situation you're in regarding this child's mother and your fiance/wife ... don't play the 'I'm a traditional guy' card. It rings a bit hollow.

If/when D'man and I get married, I will have 2 girls w/their Dad and SMom's last name, a boy w/his Father's last name and I will share D'man's last name. Does that make us LESS of a family?

My mom has my SDad's last name. My step-sibs from my step-dad have THEIR step-dad's last name. My sisters that aren't married have my Dad's last name, I have my ex-husband's last name, my sister that just got married took her husband's name and her 2 kids are going to hyphenate their Dad's last name with their step-dad's last name.

This isn't colonial days when your last name actually said something about you and your lineage.

Wow...you guys are really all over the place! But this is an excellent point as well. Something I will definitely consider. I know having the same last name will not make anyone more of a family unit, you are entirely correct on that one. But that lineage statement sort of sums up how I feel about it personally. Maybe other men can feel me on this one, but there is just something about your sons carrying on your name that instills a sense of pride in you, and it does for them too. To me its a sense of responsibility to uphold my family name(and we all know I've made mistakes with that, so go easy on the jabs here)

 

[tuffbrk]

Thats a good point. But also, the tradition of having a son carry on his fathers name is a part of who I am and how i see things as well...
Thanks for the info!

NOW you're worried about tradition?! It's a little late...

 

[CJane]

sons carrying on your name that instills a sense of pride in you, and it does for them too. To me its a sense of responsibility to uphold my family name(and we all know I've made mistakes with that, so go easy on the jabs here)

So here's a good test for you to determine if this is about the KID (because 'best interests' rules here too) or about YOU.

If this was a girl-child instead of a man-child. Would you give a crap about the name?

 

[milspecgirl]

whether it's right or wrong to ask that the child's last name be changed is a moot point and a matter or personal opinion.

Legally, he does have a leg to stand on in requesting the change if paternity has been established and the child is so young that a name change will not cause them harm in any way. He stands a chance of getting what he asks.

With my sd (soon to be dd when we get those papers finally), my husband was denied paternity by the mom until she was 2 (when mom wanted cs). At the point that he filed the custody papers, he never even asked about her last name being changed. The JUDGE ordered it in the custody papers. Now, maybe because it would be easier on the "girl-child" living with her dad to share a last name, I don't know. But by the time it was all said and done, she was close to 3 and there was no problem with the name change.

 

[CJane]

whether it's right or wrong to ask that the child's last name be changed is a moot point and a matter or personal opinion.

Legally, he does have a leg to stand on in requesting the change if paternity has been established and the child is so young that a name change will not cause them harm in any way. He stands a chance of getting what he asks.

I don't think anyone is disputing that he has a leg to stand on legally.

But it's also true that this parenting relationship has been ... contentious... from the get-go and adding fuel to the fire might not be the best thing for OP to be doing - legally speaking.

Especially if he's motivated not by the CHILD's BEST INTERESTS, but by his own (arguably) selfish feelings of obligation to 'carry on the family name' or have a 'son carry his name'.