stepmom issues again

[lmgutierrez07]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? texas

ok, so i know there isnt much i can do about this, but i just wanted to see if i was insane or not. my 11yr old has a school girlfirned(yes 11yr old) he has been talking to her for about a month now. harmless...... i have always told them girlfriends are ok as long as it stays at school and your grades dont drop. well, this weekend he was at his dads. my son plays ymca football. somewhere it came up that my sons g-friend was going to his football game. how? his stepmom was going to pick her up. ok...... i told my son. well dont forget after the game, maybe you can bring her over to meet me. we( myself and my hubby) get to the game and no less than i sit my self in the lawn chair....here come stepmom. " xxxx wanted me to make sure you met his g-friend xxxx. this is xxxx mom. " and they walk away. my question? am i insane on thinking that was so not appropriate? she is an overstepping step mom who dosent know her place( many situatuions with her before) i really think it was not for her to do that. i know....i know...... its just a school g-friend and hes not going off to get married, but its the principal. i have always taught them.....if you have a friend and i am around. you bring them over to meet me( goes for dad and grandparents) maybe i just needed to vent, but let me know what you guys think.

 

[Zigner]

I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with what Stepmom did. Furthermore, why didn't YOU introduce yourself?

 

[lmgutierrez07]

i didnt know where they were at**************and i didnt know what the g-friend looked like.
thanks

 

[Zigner]

i didnt know where they were at**************and i didnt know what the g-friend looked like.
thanks

Now you do!

 

[jbowman]

While this may have made you feel icky and not in the loop, there wasnt anything wrong with what she did, in my opinion.

I dislike my son's stepmother tremendously and I know how you feel. But really, thats nothing. Brush your shoulders off.

 

[lmgutierrez07]

you are right! just brush it off, but i guess (as you may know) you can only take so much from someone else acting like your kids mom. i know its petty and i have had worse with her, so again. ill brush it of. thank you

 

[Ohiogal]

She was NOT acting like your child's mom in that instance. You are overly sensitive.

 

[Zigner]

you are right! just brush it off, but i guess (as you may know) you can only take so much from someone else acting like your kids mom. i know its petty and i have had worse with her, so again. ill brush it of. thank you

Oh brother!
Look, what would have happened if the noon aid for the school had introduced you? How about the team mom? Or, maybe the GIRL'S mother?
See, this is soooo petty (not just a little)

 

[proud_parent]

" xxxx wanted me to make sure you met his g-friend xxxx. this is xxxx mom. " and they walk away. my question? am i insane on thinking that was so not appropriate?

If you feel the need to be miffed at someone, perhaps the person whose etiquette you should find lacking is your son.

By your account of what the stepmother said, it seems that Sonny asked Stepmom to make the introduction. Perhaps Sonny did not understand that you wanted HIM to be responsible for introducing his friend. Or perhaps he got that message but opted for whatever reason (embarrassment? laziness?) to have Stepmom make the introductions instead.

If the way things unfolded is truly bothersome to you, then mention it to your son:
"I met [girlfriend] at your game; she seems like a nice young lady. In the future, I would really appreciate it if you take the time personally to introduce your friends to me. It is a sign of respect as well as good manners. It is not your Stepmom's or Dad's responsibility to make introductions for you. Understand?"

 

[CourtClerk]

If your 11 year old has a girlfriend.... and he knows your policy and didn't follow it and introduce her to you on his own, your problem is not with the stepmom, it's with your child.

Fix THAT.

 

[penelope10]

If your 11 year old has a girlfriend.... and he knows your policy and didn't follow it and introduce her to you on his own, your problem is not with the stepmom, it's with your child.

Fix THAT.

I tend to agree with others that said it was actually your son that's the problem. OY, Lil Bit is 13 and doesn't have a BF yet. (She'll be 14 soon). I seem to notice at this age, a lot of times, it's the girls who are the aggressors---she's pretty laid back so no bf yet. Guy friends, but no boyfriends.

If I were a current Mom of a pubescent boy, I would definitely want to meet the little gf. Your son should have introduced you himself though IMO....as CC and others have said, reinforce your policy with him. And be prepared to have to "reinforce" many times in the years to come. I also have a 26 year old, so been there, done that, wore the t-shirt. (LOL, in fact I chose to keep wearing the dern t-shirt so I wouldn't be out of practice when it came Lil Bit's time).

 

[Isis1]

i must be the only one that has a problem with an 11 year old having a girlfriend/boyfriend. friend, yes. a lovey dovey relationship...uh no. gawd, i'm more old fashioned than i thought.

 

[TheGeekess]

i must be the only one that has a problem with an 11 year old having a girlfriend/boyfriend. friend, yes. a lovey dovey relationship...uh no. gawd, i'm more old fashioned than i thought.

Isabella, you didn't have a little boyfriend when you were in middle school/jr. high?

The Child has had a little "boyfriend" for the last couple of years. Now, I won't let her go to his house and he doesn't come to mine, but I'm sure they eat lunch together and have a couple of classes together (like band). They visit online via ClubPenguin, etc. The Child's father took Little Boyfriend with them last week bowling (after I told them that that was his decision, not mine ). I've met LB and his mom at the school last year and they're nice people. I know she's not out behind the band hall making out with him, so what does it matter if they call themselves boyfriend/girlfriend? He's a boy and a friend, she's a girl and a friend.

 

[Isis1]

Isabella, you didn't have a little boyfriend when you were in middle school/jr. high?

The Child has had a little "boyfriend" for the last couple of years. Now, I won't let her go to his house and he doesn't come to mine, but I'm sure they eat lunch together and have a couple of classes together (like band). They visit online via ClubPenguin, etc. The Child's father took Little Boyfriend with them last week bowling (after I told them that that was his decision, not mine ). I've met LB and his mom at the school last year and they're nice people. I know she's not out behind the band hall making out with him, so what does it matter if they call themselves boyfriend/girlfriend? He's a boy and a friend, she's a girl and a friend.

oddly enough, no, i was an ugly duckling back then. i wasn't even allowed friends anyway..

but my ten year old tried to have a girlfriend and i freaked out internally. she's no longer allowed to be his girlfriend. i told 10 year old that if i heard him having a girlfriend again, i would go have a talk with her parents. i'm probably being overbearing, but i'm just not ready yet

 

[proud_parent]

i must be the only one that has a problem with an 11 year old having a girlfriend/boyfriend. friend, yes. a lovey dovey relationship...uh no. gawd, i'm more old fashioned than i thought.

No, you're not the only one who disagrees strongly with this as a parenting choice. But a parenting choice it is. Dad is apparently allowing the relationship as well. Either that, or he is completely oblivious to behavior of which both his wife and his ex-wife are well aware.


I had my first so-called boyfriend at 16, and first kiss at 17. I had a few crushes before then, but never had the guts to tell the boys that I liked them. (If any of the objects of my affection returned my feelings, they didn't declare themselves, either. ) I do, however, remember my peers playing at going steady as early as age nine or ten -- sometimes egged on by their parents who thought it was cute. For a stretch in fifth grade, playground "weddings" were an almost weekly occurrence. I found that sort of thing as ridiculous and inappropriate back then as I do now.

At what age will Dad and I allow our daughter to date? We shall wait and see. But I do know that if at age eleven she starts singling out a certain person as a boyfriend or "special" someone, she and Dad and I will be having a very frank talk.