Do I have a say here?

[TCool]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WI (Lincoln County)

Hi, I have some questions regarding a petition to find my ex in contempt for failure to pay child support. I am actually hoping to help my ex.

I receive state insurance coverage, so the child support agency handles the support stuff on my behalf. They sent a petition to the judge to find my ex in contempt because she hasn't paid support since August 1st and is behind by $458.74.

I am against this because it is not my opinion that she willfully refused to pay, just due to economic circumstances she wasn't able and she is also pregnant and that is going to factor into getting a job. My question is: Is there anything I can do to stop this? Or, do I not have a say because my daughter and I have state insurance?

Not sure if this matters, but here is the situation regarding why she hasn't paid. She decided this past summer that she was going to go back to school so she quit her job to get a job that would work better with school schedules. Well school fell through for her so she ended up getting a full time position selling vacuum cleaners, but they didn't really explain to her that she only made money when she sold and made it seem like she would make a minimum of 400 a week. So, that also fell through. So, she was working, just not making enough to pay any child support.

Anyway, from this information, is there anyway that anyone knows of that I can get them not to take her to court? Or, is it possible for me to go to her court date and actually side with her if I'm listed as a petitioner?

I'd appreciate any help anyone can give me.

Thanks guys,

Tim

 

[Gracie3787]

Because you are recieving aid, you don't have a choice in the contempt situation.

 

[CJane]

Pay the arrears for her.

And selling vacuums is nowhere near a full-time job. She needs a real job NOW.

 

[stepmom4ever]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WI (Lincoln County)

Hi, I have some questions regarding a petition to find my ex in contempt for failure to pay child support. I am actually hoping to help my ex.

I receive state insurance coverage, so the child support agency handles the support stuff on my behalf. They sent a petition to the judge to find my ex in contempt because she hasn't paid support since August 1st and is behind by $458.74.

I am against this because it is not my opinion that she willfully refused to pay, just due to economic circumstances she wasn't able and she is also pregnant and that is going to factor into getting a job. My question is: Is there anything I can do to stop this? Or, do I not have a say because my daughter and I have state insurance?

Not sure if this matters, but here is the situation regarding why she hasn't paid. She decided this past summer that she was going to go back to school so she quit her job to get a job that would work better with school schedules. Well school fell through for her so she ended up getting a full time position selling vacuum cleaners, but they didn't really explain to her that she only made money when she sold and made it seem like she would make a minimum of 400 a week. So, that also fell through. So, she was working, just not making enough to pay any child support.

Anyway, from this information, is there anyway that anyone knows of that I can get them not to take her to court? Or, is it possible for me to go to her court date and actually side with her if I'm listed as a petitioner?

I'd appreciate any help anyone can give me.

Thanks guys,

Tim

It can be worked out...that's what my husband is trying to do with his ex...he is behind two months of child support with her and they have a court order. But he chose to be nice and civil with her so that they can work this out of court. What he has been doing is buying whatever his child needs as far as clothes, shoes, socks and things of that sort to help her out because he can't afford to pay the actual child support order. We are hoping she dosent still go forward with the contempt charges but that's something you might want to discuss with your ex to help her......Things can always be worked outside of court when two parents are willing to work together

 

[CourtClerk]

It can be worked out...that's what my husband is trying to do with his ex...he is behind two months of child support with her and they have a court order. But he chose to be nice and civil with her so that they can work this out of court. What he has been doing is buying whatever his child needs as far as clothes, shoes, socks and things of that sort to help her out because he can't afford to pay the actual child support order. We are hoping she dosent still go forward with the contempt charges but that's something you might want to discuss with your ex to help her......Things can always be worked outside of court when two parents are willing to work together

How do two parents work out something when it involves the state's money??? Please let us ALL know. I'm very interested in this. Seeing as if I have worked for the courts, Child Support Services AND the Department of Public Social Services, I know of NO instance where ANYONE can negotiate money arrangements, when the money does NOT belong to them.

OP... before taking anything Stepmom4ever writes, you may want to read her posting history so you can see just how cooperative her husband is with his ex. You'll find it VERY interesting.... to say the least.

 

[SurgicalTech]

It can be worked out...that's what my husband is trying to do with his ex...he is behind two months of child support with her and they have a court order. But he chose to be nice and civil with her so that they can work this out of court. What he has been doing is buying whatever his child needs as far as clothes, shoes, socks and things of that sort to help her out because he can't afford to pay the actual child support order. We are hoping she dosent still go forward with the contempt charges but that's something you might want to discuss with your ex to help her......Things can always be worked outside of court when two parents are willing to work together

Just be careful doing this. We tried to do the same thing once and even though the ex played friendly at the time, later on, she decided to sue for back child support. We were having a very difficult time financally because I discovered I had cancer and YAY no health insurance for me! Fortunately, the court did take everything we bought for him into consideration but unless you keep ALL receipts and keep a very detailed list of what money you spent on what, AND make the ex sign the receipts (that's what we did) you could still end up getting nailed to the wall. Just be careful trusting the ex's...unfortunately, that is what I have learned.

 

[Silverplum]

Stop running around dispensing inaccurate nonsense and ranting about your H's child and H's problems in other people's threads. You aren't helping anyone.

Just be careful doing this. We did the same thing and even though the ex played friendly at the time, later on, she decided to sue for back child support. Unless you keep ALL receipts ad keeping a very detailed list of what money you spent on what, you could still end up getting nailed to the wall. Just be careful trusting the ex's...unfortunately, that is what I have learned.

 

[SurgicalTech]

How do two parents work out something when it involves the state's money??? Please let us ALL know. I'm very interested in this. Seeing as if I have worked for the courts, Child Support Services AND the Department of Public Social Services, I know of NO instance where ANYONE can negotiate money arrangements, when the money does NOT belong to them.

OP... before taking anything Stepmom4ever writes, you may want to read her posting history so you can see just how cooperative her husband is with his ex. You'll find it VERY interesting.... to say the least.

Please dont get mean, but I do just have a real quick question...if it's back child support that is due, how is that State's money? Isnt that money that is to go to the parent, therefore the custodial parent's money? Just curious why you say its the state's money. Thanks

 

[Ohiogal]

Please dont get mean, but I do just have a real quick question...if it's back child support that is due, how is that State's money? Isnt that money that is to go to the parent, therefore the custodial parent's money? Just curious why you say its the state's money. Thanks

Not if she qualifies for aid. Then it becomes the state's business. You cannot NOT petition for child support AND milk the taxpayers for support.

 

[VeronicaLodge]

and if she cant pay support for her current child with you, what the hell is she doing having another baby?

 

[Zephyr]

Tcool....if the arrears are paid before the court date (the sooner the better) then they will likely drop the petition, so if you really do want to help her- although you are NOT obligated to- you could help her eliminate those arrears...

also remind mom to always send something in..even if it's not the full amount, at least it shows an effort on her part.

 

[TCool]

Sorry for disappearing on this one. School kinda started beating me down pretty good.

Ok, on to the update. She went to her court date and was found in contempt. I think the ruling was a little harsh, but that is out of my hands. She has until May 1st 09 to resume paying or she will spend 60 days in jail. Now, the question I have relates to this: It says in the court order "Failure to comply with the above-listed conditions of stay shall result in a warrant for the arrest the respondent to serve the jail term. The respondent may purge the finding of contempt as follows: The respondent shall pay $944.00"

Now, for some weird reason I still feel like being nice and helping her stay out of jail (mainly through offering advice). So, I was wondering if this amount is paid, and it should be because of the state taking her tax returns, does this mean the date of 5/1/09 no longer applies even though she will most likely be behind again by then?

Anyway, to answer that question about why she is having another baby if she can't even support the kid she has now. The answer is very simple, she is really stupid. I mean, I don't even know why I still bother trying to help her, I guess it is because I want her to try to be there more for our daughter. So far she has suggested some pretty dumb things to try to get out of child support. 1. Have no insurance coverage for our daughter, not state coverage no reason for state to be involved, right? (obviously I rejected that). 2. She offered to completely sign away her rights as a mother. Now, I'm not a legal expert obviously, but I told her I'm pretty sure all that will do is give me all the decision making power and she'd still have to pay child support because you no matter how many papers you sign you are still the mother. And then today: 3. Change the custody arrangement for the summer only so she has physical custody and doesn't have to pay child support. She is going to have our daughter most the summer (hopefully) to make up for all the time she's missed and will miss between Sept and May. Now, I know none of this is relevant, just thought I'd try to show you what I'm dealing with here. But, couldn't the judge just have ordered her tubes tied, or how about a no more being stupid order.

 

[meanyjack]

I am against this because it is not my opinion that she willfully refused to pay, just due to economic circumstances she wasn't able and she is also pregnant and that is going to factor into getting a job. My question is: Is there anything I can do to stop this? Or, do I not have a say because my daughter and I have state insurance?

Not sure if this matters, but here is the situation regarding why she hasn't paid. She decided this past summer that she was going to go back to school so she quit her job to get a job that would work better with school schedules. Well school fell through for her so she ended up getting a full time position selling vacuum cleaners, but they didn't really explain to her that she only made money when she sold and made it seem like she would make a minimum of 400 a week. So, that also fell through. So, she was working, just not making enough to pay any child support.

I wouldn't doubt if the part I bolded (about quitting her job to go back to school) is what pretty much did her in.

 

[TCool]

I wouldn't doubt if the part I bolded (about quitting her job to go back to school) is what pretty much did her in.

Yes, probably. I have issues with that mainly related to the governments position in general on education. It seems to me the government would rather help people stay poor then to help them get an education which would in turn help them get off of government aid plus get the government more tax money. But that is a whole different subject.

 

[Humusluvr]

Yes, probably. I have issues with that mainly related to the governments position in general on education. It seems to me the government would rather help people stay poor then to help them get an education which would in turn help them get off of government aid plus get the government more tax money. But that is a whole different subject.

I would rather people take care of their support obligations before they decide they want to go take some classes. If they can't afford their kids while they quit their job to go to school, then they should figure out how to keep their full time job and go to school online at night, while their relatives or friends watch their kids, or after they save up enough money.

Its not the government that "keeps people poor." Its bad planning on people's part.