Recorded phone calls

[nythng4mygrl]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LA

My ex has been harassing me for the last few months because of my boyfriend. My boyfriend does not spend the night when our daughter is with me. I am custodial parent, and have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. I was advised that I can record telephone conversations between myself and dad and I do not have to inform him that he is being recorded as long as I am a party to the conversation. He has threatened to shoot me and kill me, and just now told me that he will kill my boyfriend. He told me not to go home tonight. I called the police, and they told me that this is only considered aggravated battery, and they are not able to arrest him. I told them that I have 3 recordings of him threatening my life, and 1 recording threatening my boyfriend. They told me that all they can do is write an incident report, but they will not arrest him.

Is there a way to plea to anyone higher in the Sheriff's Office? Are they going to pick him up when they find me slaughtered all over my house?? My boyfriend has already filed a restraining order through the Justice of the Peace for another incident, and he was bonded out. Can I go to the same Justice of the Peace with the recordings?

This drama is only stirred up because we are going back to court since dad does not know how to follow the judgment. He now is going for 50/50 custody with me and he lives over an hour away from me, doesn't know how to follow an order, and his overbearing wife doesn't know how to back off and shut up. I am just over it!!

Any guidance???

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LA

My ex has been harassing me for the last few months because of my boyfriend. My boyfriend does not spend the night when our daughter is with me. I am custodial parent, and have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. I was advised that I can record telephone conversations between myself and dad and I do not have to inform him that he is being recorded as long as I am a party to the conversation. He has threatened to shoot me and kill me, and just now told me that he will kill my boyfriend. He told me not to go home tonight. I called the police, and they told me that this is only considered aggravated battery, and they are not able to arrest him. I told them that I have 3 recordings of him threatening my life, and 1 recording threatening my boyfriend. They told me that all they can do is write an incident report, but they will not arrest him.

Is there a way to plea to anyone higher in the Sheriff's Office? Are they going to pick him up when they find me slaughtered all over my house?? My boyfriend has already filed a restraining order through the Justice of the Peace for another incident, and he was bonded out. Can I go to the same Justice of the Peace with the recordings?

This drama is only stirred up because we are going back to court since dad does not know how to follow the judgment. He now is going for 50/50 custody with me and he lives over an hour away from me, doesn't know how to follow an order, and his overbearing wife doesn't know how to back off and shut up. I am just over it!!

Any guidance???

step one, have the police file the incident report. that's your first step. each and every time. get that paper trail started.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Thank you Isabella. I have a total of 6 police reports, and he has already been arrested for assaulting my boyfriend and threatening him in public. I am thinking that dad WILL NOT get 50/50 because of our distance and he is in contempt for 7 violations. I have also posted this in criminal section, but since dad is out on bond for incident with boyfriend, and just threatened him again, shouldn't they arrest him? He has a restraining order on dad with a "no contact" clause, and he is not to come within 500 feet of my boyfriend. He has threatened him twice last week at the bowling alley, and just last night over the phone.

Thanks!!

 

[Zephyr]

I would definitely request a restraining order

 

[Silverplum]

FYI: he's not "in contempt" UNTIL/UNLESS a Court finds him to be so.

Thank you Isabella. I have a total of 6 police reports, and he has already been arrested for assaulting my boyfriend and threatening him in public. I am thinking that dad WILL NOT get 50/50 because of our distance and he is in contempt for 7 violations. I have also posted this in criminal section, but since dad is out on bond for incident with boyfriend, and just threatened him again, shouldn't they arrest him? He has a restraining order on dad with a "no contact" clause, and he is not to come within 500 feet of my boyfriend. He has threatened him twice last week at the bowling alley, and just last night over the phone.

Thanks!!

 

[Isis1]

Thank you Isabella. I have a total of 6 police reports, and he has already been arrested for assaulting my boyfriend and threatening him in public. I am thinking that dad WILL NOT get 50/50 because of our distance and he is in contempt for 7 violations. I have also posted this in criminal section, but since dad is out on bond for incident with boyfriend, and just threatened him again, shouldn't they arrest him? He has a restraining order on dad with a "no contact" clause, and he is not to come within 500 feet of my boyfriend. He has threatened him twice last week at the bowling alley, and just last night over the phone.

Thanks!!

boyfriend needs to report the contact.

just bear in might what you think matters not. it's quite possible dad could get 50/50 custody. never assume what a judge will rule.

like suggested, file the restraining order.

 

[LdiJ]

boyfriend needs to report the contact.

just bear in might what you think matters not. it's quite possible dad could get 50/50 custody. never assume what a judge will rule.

like suggested, file the restraining order.

I think that's a little bit of an overstatement with this particular set of facts. Dad lives and hour away and that makes it unlikely that dad can realistically get the child back and forth to school. Dad's violence won't go entirely unmarked either.

I think this is more of a case of, "its not impossible that dad would get 50/50, because you never know what a judge will rule, but its not very likely", rather than an "its quite possible dad could get 50/50 custody."

Mom should ask that psych evals be ordered.

 

[Isis1]

I think that's a little bit of an overstatement with this particular set of facts. Dad lives and hour away and that makes it unlikely that dad can realistically get the child back and forth to school. Dad's violence won't go entirely unmarked either.

I think this is more of a case of, "its not impossible that dad would get 50/50, because you never know what a judge will rule, but its not very likely", rather than an "its quite possible dad could get 50/50 custody."

Mom should ask that psych evals be ordered.

very true, i did word that incorrectly.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Thank you everyone. My boyfriend DOES have restraining order on dad from the last mishap and dad is out on bond from that and is still threatening my boyfriend. As for my "contempt" verbage, I meant that I am taking him for contempt. I hope he is found to be in contempt, which I feel really positive about. I mean not showing up for 10 drug screens out of 11 and this is 3rd time going back to court, if the judge sides with him, I will just go insane. This has got to stop, and then this threatening crap!! This is not the type of environment for our daughter to be in. He constantly curses at me in front of her, and he assaulted my boyfriend in her presence, can't show up for a drug screen, still smoking in front of her when ordered not too, and stepmom identifying my daughter as HERS!!! Now she is scared to go with dad because she thinks he is going to beat her. I encourage her to go to dad ONLY because there is a court order. Then I find out stepmom has been spanking her??? This is just absolutely insane**************.I am most certainly going to request overnight visits stop after all of this and ask for supervised visits if he isn't in jail by then. He has court next week for charges brought on him by my boyfriend. My court case has been continued until he appears for the assault and battery charge.

I just wanted to correct myself and vent a little more. Thank you all!

 

[onebreath]

So it sounds like bf has pursued the restraining order violations, and thats the case coming up, right? Thats good.

Easy to say, but I would go ahead and file for a restraining order too and/or make a very strong case in court of dad assaulting bf in front of child. That is not good. In that case I was going to suggest YOU get a restraining order, but then if you get one the child should get one too!

Definitely go for your motions and reasons for contempt. What is dad supposed to be getting screened for? What kind of drug? I may be reamed for this, but I would go for the supervised visits (can always ask, right?) to happen until dad can show up for the ordered amount of screenings. Its a long shot on my part, but I do wonder if the lack of drug screening, assumptions dad is using, possibly using drugs that make one act out (unlike pot say), and his violence. Irregardless, given he has a restraining order on him he does not have enough self control to abide by, ....

This is more of a question as to legal rights for the poster...what is the most successful way a parent can request in court...and hopefully the parents will hash it out in the hallway to an agreement, as to only such and such discipline may be administered by the parents. Out of my realm, but is there something mom can ask to be put in the court order to stop sm from spanking daughter?

 

[nythng4mygrl]

My boyfriend has a restraining order on dad. Dad broke it by calling him and threatening to shoot him, then called me. I currently do not have restraining order, but will obtain one when we are in court for contempt issues.

Dad has to be screened for marijuana/heroin. Dad has tested positive for heroin a year ago, as well as marijuana. Dad has missed 10 screens this year out of 11. Dad has assaulted boyfriend in front of my girl and threatened his life as well while hitting him. My boyfriend walked away because he did not want to look like the bad person in my daughter's eyes.

As for stepmom, I have a stipulation in the court order that there is absolutely "NO corporal punishment" and she is not to interfere with the parenting of the child. My daughter has informed me that she was spanked with a belt, and dad admitted to it and told me there was nothing I can do. He is has 15 year old son that also was hitting our daughter which is why dad is ordered to not leave daughter alone with stepmom and their son. Dad has been leaving our daughter alone with stepmom, which is when she is spanking my daughter. My daughter feels that stepmom takes up for her son and I feel that stepmom is taking things out on my daughter to get to me. I would love for the judge to give me a belt and show stepmom what a good whippen feels like. It has taken so much for me to step back and not confront her, but that is what my attorney is for. Stepmom is also ordered to drug screen and she has no-showed as well.

 

[onebreath]

What is the relationship of SM's drug screen in relation to your custody case?

How do you know mom is hitting child? How old IS your child? I think you DO need to address this in court, even if nothing happens? Why? Because its your responsibility as the mother. Most or all can be declared hearsay, yet you can still state this is whats going on as best you know and its not just step brother but the mom too. At the very minimum, request that no one outside of you or dad (and realize you don't spank but dad may unless he agrees with you) is able to physically punish the child. Period.

WHEN IS COURT??

I assumed wrongly I think...has your bf taken any legal steps AFTER the restraining order is put into effect...that dad is still threatening his life? If not, he needs to do that on his own, and should.

So dad is supposed to get screened for x (?) number of times for herion as well as pot...is that actually in the court order? My tiny understanding of both is that they render one more unable than aggressive...I recall this post earlier...but oh well...I would think herion would render dad unable to even visit with the child. But do pursue the screenings...its not good for the child at all that he is running rampant perhaps and no accountability.

Safety seems to be the major issue here...safety for the child from drugs, violence, combative behavior against the childs' mom. Its not healthy for the child. I don't have anything better to say, its all common sense...but you will need more support and advice to address these issues in court. Legal imput, advice, even representation.