another name change question...

[waking beauty]

massachusetts...

i filed the petition to change our daughters last name to be my last name...she is going to be 5 in january...when we had her i thought i was obligated to use her fathers last name...anyway...father has abandonded our daughter and moved out of state to an undisclosed location...he hasnt paid any support since june of 2008 (our suuport order was made dec 2007 but we seperated june 2006) and he hasnt been employed since may 2008...the courts have terminated his visiting rights and i have full physical and legal custody...

i want our daughter to have my last name...well he responded to the petition and now it will go to hearing...what are my chances the judge will side with me? any advice?

 

[Humusluvr]

massachusetts...

i filed the petition to change our daughters last name to be my last name...she is going to be 5 in january...when we had her i thought i was obligated to use her fathers last name...anyway...father has abandonded our daughter and moved out of state to an undisclosed location...he hasnt paid any support since june of 2008 (our suuport order was made dec 2007 but we seperated june 2006) and he hasnt been employed since may 2008...the courts have terminated his visiting rights and i have full physical and legal custody...

i want our daughter to have my last name...well he responded to the petition and now it will go to hearing...what are my chances the judge will side with me? any advice?

What are the chances dad will show up?

 

[LdiJ]

massachusetts...

i filed the petition to change our daughters last name to be my last name...she is going to be 5 in january...when we had her i thought i was obligated to use her fathers last name...anyway...father has abandonded our daughter and moved out of state to an undisclosed location...he hasnt paid any support since june of 2008 (our suuport order was made dec 2007 but we seperated june 2006) and he hasnt been employed since may 2008...the courts have terminated his visiting rights and i have full physical and legal custody...

i want our daughter to have my last name...well he responded to the petition and now it will go to hearing...what are my chances the judge will side with me? any advice?

You might want to consider compromising on a hyphenated last name...because if dad shows odds are the judge would rule in his favor. However, judges do like the compromise of a hyphenated last name.

 

[waking beauty]

her dad will show up...he has nothing else going on in his life so i know he will show up...

will the judge even side with him even if he isnt financially supportive of her? even tho he abandonded her and moved to another state without advising the the courts and the DOR and me? even if his visiting rights with her have been terminated? my reasons for wanting the change are for school, insurance, and personal reasons...as i said im a hard working mother who strives to provide her wtih a safe stable environment...wouldnt that count toward her ruling?

 

[Humusluvr]

her dad will show up...he has nothing else going on in his life so i know he will show up...

will the judge even side with him even if he isnt financially supportive of her? even tho he abandonded her and moved to another state without advising the the courts and the DOR and me? even if his visiting rights with her have been terminated? my reasons for wanting the change are for school, insurance, and personal reasons...as i said im a hard working mother who strives to provide her wtih a safe stable environment...wouldnt that count toward her ruling?

I'd say you only have a 50/50 chance with the judge, but if you want to hyphenate the name, you will probably get that. Are you wanting to change her name to your new, married name, or the name of your new husband? If its the second, don't count on it.

 

[waking beauty]

no i am not married and i dont have a fiance or anything like that...its just me and the little one...i work 32 hrs a week and i go to school for nursing...i just want her and i to share the same last name...ive never been married so it would be my last name...

 

[Humusluvr]

no i am not married and i dont have a fiance or anything like that...its just me and the little one...i work 32 hrs a week and i go to school for nursing...i just want her and i to share the same last name...ive never been married so it would be my last name...

I think if you want to hyphenate, you'll get it. But I doubt you'll be able to completely change it, if dad shows up.

 

[waking beauty]

darn that stinks...

will i be able to use my last name first in the hyphenated version?

 

[Just Blue]

darn that stinks...

will i be able to use my last name first in the hyphenated version?

What does it matter?

If the court allows a hyphenated name change than THAT IS THE NAME. You will NOT be able to drop his name without being in contempt of court. Grow up already.

 

[waking beauty]

What does it matter?

If the court allows a hyphenated name change than THAT IS THE NAME. You will NOT be able to drop his name without being in contempt of court. Grow up already.

this is a man who is in and out of her life...i want nothing more than for her to share my last name...so
it matters because i was conned into thinking that i was obligated to put his name when she was born...it does matter to me...im not asking to drop his name if it becomes hyphenated...im asking how would it look? would my last name go after his? or does my last name go before his? do i have the choice? and please keep your "grow up already" comment to yourself...i didnt ask to be insulted...i came here asking for help...if u dont want to help then u dont have to...u can move along

 

[Just Blue]

this is a man who is in and out of her life...i want nothing more than for her to share my last name...so
it matters because i was conned into thinking that i was obligated to put his name when she was born...it does matter to me...im not asking to drop his name if it becomes hyphenated...im asking how would it look? would my last name go after his? or does my last name go before his? do i have the choice? and please keep your "grow up already" comment to yourself...i didnt ask to be insulted...i came here asking for help...if u dont want to help then u dont have to...u can move along

No...It doesn't matter. Really.
If you are not educated enough to know your rights as a parent..ie..naming your child...than perhaps you should have waited to have a child. Do not go to court telling them you were conned..They will not buy this excuse.

Child's name is Jane Smith...Will (most likely) become Jones-Smith. Her name doesn't matter. Really. I have been there. You are fighting the wrong battle. You can't erase him as her father. Really. And trying to do so will only hurt your child.

 

[CourtClerk]

this is a man who is in and out of her life...i want nothing more than for her to share my last name...so
it matters because i was conned into thinking that i was obligated to put his name when she was born...it does matter to me...im not asking to drop his name if it becomes hyphenated...im asking how would it look? would my last name go after his? or does my last name go before his? do i have the choice? and please keep your "grow up already" comment to yourself...i didnt ask to be insulted...i came here asking for help...if u dont want to help then u dont have to...u can move along

Who cares whos name comes first? When she grows up and gets married, she's dropping BOTH of your names. See how UNIMPORTANT that becomes in the long run?

and you really do need to "grow up already."

 

[CourtClerk]

will the judge even side with him even if he isnt financially supportive of her?

Yes

even tho he abandonded her and moved to another state without advising the the courts and the DOR and me?

Yes

even if his visiting rights with her have been terminated?

Yes

my reasons for wanting the change are for school,

My child is much older than yours. I've never had a problem with him and his school and we've ALWAYS had different last names.... use a better excuse.

insurance,

Again, I've NEVER had a problem with him and insurance and we've ALWAYS had different last names. He's got medical, dental, vision, life... all that. No one has questioned me once. I have all of that plus long term and short term disability, AFLAC, a few bank accounts, retirement accounts and a government pension. All that need beneficiaries have him named (with his different last name than mine). No one has questioned me once... try again.

and personal reasons

Now that's the most truthful statement yet. The personal reason is... because I want it.

 

[waking beauty]

thanks...ur all a tough crowd...again i really could do without the grow up comment etc is it really called for? i felt i had a strong case for changing her name...i guess i was wrong...but i dont need to be spoken as tho im some fool

 

[Just Blue]

thanks...ur all a tough crowd...again i really could do without the grow up comment etc is it really called for? i felt i had a strong case for changing her name...i guess i was wrong...but i dont need to be spoken as tho im some fool

If you don't want to be spoken to as if your were a fool...don't behave like one. And yes. The grow up comments are totally necessary for us to make to you...better us than the Judge.