Parenting plan - supervised visits/no custody

[masopa]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WI

I have sole custody and placement of my son, who is 5. His mother lost custody and placement in July, when she married a man who has been abusive to my son. When she was told her visits would be supervised, she stated in court that she "didn't want any placement" because she "had a new family to focus on." She lives just over 3 hours away; she moved.

We received a letter a week later, from her mother's zip code, appealing the family court commissioner's decision. The case was referred for a home study.

The home study was a joke, and despite my son still claiming that his mother's boyfriend punched him in the stomach, and that he is afraid to go to her home, the evaluator said that he thinks my son was just overwhelmed by the chaos at his mother's house.

I wrote a response to the recommendation stating how inaccurate I believed the report was, and plan to challenge it in court.

In the meantime I have to submit a proposed parenting plan to the court.

My question is:
Is it better to make a parenting plan that follows exactly what I believe should happen?
(Son's mother continues only supervised visits and begins some sort of counseling, matter to be revisited at a later date).

Or should I make something that sounds like I'm trying to be reasonable? (i.e. setting up a plan for the future at this time) I don't foresee anything changing any time soon as son's mother thinks there is absolutely nothing wrong with her behavior. I don't want it to appear that I have faith that she will improve, and have a decision based on that. I really don't think it will happen without some kind of intervention.

 

[Ohiogal]

Make it as you believe it should be.

 

[Humusluvr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WI

I have sole custody and placement of my son, who is 5. His mother lost custody and placement in July, when she married a man who has been abusive to my son. When she was told her visits would be supervised, she stated in court that she "didn't want any placement" because she "had a new family to focus on." She lives just over 3 hours away; she moved.

We received a letter a week later, from her mother's zip code, appealing the family court commissioner's decision. The case was referred for a home study.

The home study was a joke, and despite my son still claiming that his mother's boyfriend punched him in the stomach, and that he is afraid to go to her home, the evaluator said that he thinks my son was just overwhelmed by the chaos at his mother's house.

I wrote a response to the recommendation stating how inaccurate I believed the report was, and plan to challenge it in court.

In the meantime I have to submit a proposed parenting plan to the court.

My question is:
Is it better to make a parenting plan that follows exactly what I believe should happen?
(Son's mother continues only supervised visits and begins some sort of counseling, matter to be revisited at a later date).

Or should I make something that sounds like I'm trying to be reasonable? (i.e. setting up a plan for the future at this time) I don't foresee anything changing any time soon as son's mother thinks there is absolutely nothing wrong with her behavior. I don't want it to appear that I have faith that she will improve, and have a decision based on that. I really don't think it will happen without some kind of intervention.

IMO, which is just an opinion, you should make a parenting plan with "steps" that will reunite mom and son if she meets certain goals.

Like, If she goes to ten supervised visits, and the visits are positive, then she can get hours unsupervised, which then graduate to overnight. But, only if she successfully goes to the visits and they are positive. If she misses visits, she starts back at square one with supervised. Then, she has to do her part to get unsupervised. Also suggest a parenting class or therapy with son and family.

This would only happen if she REALLY wanted it. It sounds like she may not want to put forth the effort. If she does, great - she'll be a better parent. Give her steps if she wants this enough - she'll do it.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WI

I have sole custody and placement of my son, who is 5. His mother lost custody and placement in July, when she married a man who has been abusive to my son. When she was told her visits would be supervised, she stated in court that she "didn't want any placement" because she "had a new family to focus on." She lives just over 3 hours away; she moved.

We received a letter a week later, from her mother's zip code, appealing the family court commissioner's decision. The case was referred for a home study.

The home study was a joke, and despite my son still claiming that his mother's boyfriend punched him in the stomach, and that he is afraid to go to her home, the evaluator said that he thinks my son was just overwhelmed by the chaos at his mother's house.

I wrote a response to the recommendation stating how inaccurate I believed the report was, and plan to challenge it in court.

In the meantime I have to submit a proposed parenting plan to the court.

My question is:
Is it better to make a parenting plan that follows exactly what I believe should happen?
(Son's mother continues only supervised visits and begins some sort of counseling, matter to be revisited at a later date).

Or should I make something that sounds like I'm trying to be reasonable? (i.e. setting up a plan for the future at this time) I don't foresee anything changing any time soon as son's mother thinks there is absolutely nothing wrong with her behavior. I don't want it to appear that I have faith that she will improve, and have a decision based on that. I really don't think it will happen without some kind of intervention.

If you believe that her husband abused your child, your main goal should be to keep her husband away from the child, while still allowing the child to have a relationship with his mother.

Does she have family where the visitation could take place? Perhaps at grandma's or at an aunt or uncle's house?

 

[masopa]

If you believe that her husband abused your child, your main goal should be to keep her husband away from the child, while still allowing the child to have a relationship with his mother.

Does she have family where the visitation could take place? Perhaps at grandma's or at an aunt or uncle's house?

There is currently a no-contact condition to his probation that prohibits him from being anywhere near my son or me. His probation ends in 8/2009. There will be no contact AT LEAST until then.

Son's mother does not think anything every happened. She and her family brought my son around the abuser even after there was no contact ordered- on multiple occasions. I don't trust them to keep him away from this guy.

Like, If she goes to ten supervised visits, and the visits are positive...

My son has seen his mother about once a month for the past few months (supervised by her sister). He comes home very upset every time, and HATES seeing her and begs to not have to go. I had my son in therapy, but quite frankly I'm going broke. I still try to get my son in as often as I can, but I'm afraid it's not enough.

Just got notice today that the trial was pushed back to March. What are the chances that after 9 months of this kind of schedule things will drastically change? I have no problem with my son seeing his mother, and I do think it should continue on some level - but even my son's therapist doesn't think that seeing her more than once a month is a good idea (ignored in the recommendation).