Ex Parte for holiday visitation denial/clarification?

[profmum]

The only bad attitude I've had lately here on FA has been aimed at YOU. Deservedly so, IMNSHO.

And I do listen to most here at one level or another. Even though I don't generally care for LdiJ's advice, on occasion even she tosses out a nugget worth remembering.

Also, glad to finally see who stole the FA crystal ball...

PSD if you dont give a damn about my advice why bother with a "bad attitude", but I will leave stupid to be stupid.. and you are really missing out on some great advice from LD.. once again, she does not tell you that you are right, so of course her advice means nothing.. good luck with this path of self destruction you are on.

 

[mommyof4]

We all have personal biases on this forum.. the more common ones are the "golden uterus" theorizers.. it is the nature of being human

True, but the point I'm trying to make is that your personal dislike colors every response you make. If you truly think that he is wrong, for whatever reason, at least make the effort to not actively base your response in your dislike of him because of YOUR personal dealings with your ex. You are not exactly a light weight in the sheer number of threads you have started in how to deal with your ex.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

We all have personal biases on this forum.. the more common ones are the "golden uterus" theorizers.. it is the nature of being human

And yet, most of what I'll call the "real seniors(and I'll even include LdiJ as a REAL senior)" can contain the real bias's in life long enough to "beat down" either MOM or DAD, CP or NCP, as the situation warrants, so where does that leave you? I got a real attitude adjustment(unlike yours, which still seems to scream "I AM RIGHT, DAM***), and I realized then what was important. THEY MADE ME THINK!

When you really start "thinking", instead of simply espousing anti-Dad rhetoric, let me know.

.. good luck with this path of self destruction you are on.

Nice. You do realize that you are the ONLY one saying that, right?

 

[escape2paradise]

You take things out of context, the Courts can do anything but the wording on the CO is very unclear and an emergency is an emergency by any court in the country..CO or MD. Vacation time rarely counts as one.. PSD himself has decided to not seek an ex parte hearing. As for making declarative statements.. really SP, you are one to speak!

Actually courts are different in this regard in different parts of the country. Here we can get an exparte hearing and it does not have to be an "emergency". We are unusually lucky with court scheduling here. Most any motion can be heard within three weeks. That's not to say that a longer hearing won't be scheduled for later if the matter requires more time, but it's amazingly quick to get into court here and we are the second largest county in the state.

 

[LdiJ]

Actually courts are different in this regard in different parts of the country. Here we can get an exparte hearing and it does not have to be an "emergency". We are unusually lucky with court scheduling here. Most any motion can be heard within three weeks. That's not to say that a longer hearing won't be scheduled for later if the matter requires more time, but it's amazingly quick to get into court here and we are the second largest county in the state.

You really are lucky...from my observations there are few places where that is possible.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Update

I nearly forgot about this part of The Ex’s last email to me.

You had winter break last year. We did not split it. I had part of Christmas Eve and Day. You said that you were not counting weekends into "winter break". That being the case I did have (LMPS) with me for what would normally be her weekend with me. That was your choice. ...

I almost choked on that last line.

To which my response tonight was:

First, the thought that I would choose to give up the time that you had just made me work so hard to get is ludicrous. I hope you haven't really convinced yourself of that.

Secondly, as you readily state, you did have (LMPS) for the second half of the Christmas/Winter break in in the 2007/2008 school year. The school break was from 12/24/2007 thru 01/02/2008. Starting at noon on 12/25/2007(a Tuesday), (LMPS) was with me for the first half of the remaining nights of the winter break which saw her back to you on either 12/28/2007(Friday night) or 12/29/2007(Saturday morning). Sorry, but I don't recall which day. Then (LMPS) was with you for the remainder of the break until school started on January 2, 2008, as per the order, which states that as of 12pm on 12/25, "The child shall then return to the opposite party for ½ of the remaining overnights of the Christmas /Winter break; the opposite party shall then have the remaining Christmas/Winter break".

Finally, the order states that holiday time "takes precedence over the ordinary schedule.

Again, I’ll be picking up (LMPS) after your half of the break at approximately 8:45 to 9pm on the evening of the December 30th, and will then return her to school on January 5th.

We shall see...

 

[MichaCA]

Per your court order statements, I think it is pretty clear you begin your xmas with child at noon on Christmas Day. To me, the court order is not vague, however I would suggest when you go back to court that you make sure clear dates are included for each year of the future visitations, per each parent, etc.

I think its good you emailed mom the letter you did, and I agree with previous poster, I would go to pick up child at that time....and the rote, if mom refuses call po/sheriff to document. Will not help HER court case, although I know thats not the point. You just want to spend xmas holiday with your kid. Hope all works out and you have a great holiday.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

... I would suggest when you go back to court that you make sure clear dates are included for each year of the future visitations, per each parent, etc.

Can't really do that with this kind of school break. The dates change year to year.

 

[StampGirl]

Hi there PSD How is lil miss pro se?? Hope she is well. Cause you know SHE is the only one who matters in this messy situation. But I don't have to tell YOU that because you are the Awesome Dad who already knows it LOL

My ex and I had this same trouble with our Christmas schedule last year and he took me to mediation to "fix" it.

I would just show up to pick up your daughter and document if she doesn't bring LMPS to the exchange spot. Not sure what else you can do at this point. She hasn't not done anything yet.

Personally you have done a fine job going Pro Se and I have learned quite a bit from some things you have posted about

Keep up the good work. LMPS appreciates IT ALL I am sure!!!!

 

[stealth2]

Can't really do that with this kind of school break. The dates change year to year.

Actually, you really can. If you want to make it work. While the dates change year to year, it all evens out in the wash. One of you gets an extra day or two this year, the other will get an extra day or two next year, etc. The problem comes in when you insist on it being exactly equal each year.

Seriously, PSDM... you may not realize it, but you come off as intransigent as Mom does. I do understand why, but understand that you're no longer coming across as a white knight.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Actually, you really can. If you want to make it work. While the dates change year to year, it all evens out in the wash. One of you gets an extra day or two this year, the other will get an extra day or two next year, etc. The problem comes in when you insist on it being exactly equal each year.

Seriously, PSDM... you may not realize it, but you come off as intransigent as Mom does. I do understand why, but understand that you're no longer coming across as a white knight.

Well, I'm not trying to come across as a "white knight" when you get right down to it. I am being an involved/concerned parent. I always thought it was in the job description.

The order currently gives "an extra day or two", at least(this year it's 5 nights), to The Ex at the beginning of the Christmas/Winter break, and I'm not begrudging that in the least. It's what the order states. I am fine with "1/2 of the remaining overnights" as long as I actually get them. And fixed dates would end up causing LMPS to miss school at some point, considering the potential differences in lenghts of school breaks(last year was just over a week, this year is just over 2 weeks.

 

[jbowman]

Seriously, PSDM... you may not realize it, but you come off as intransigent as Mom does. I do understand why, but understand that you're no longer coming across as a white knight.

Ive got to agree here. Seems like there are huge control issues going on with BOTH of you.

Your rude responses to people on this forum (especially LdiJ) are so unneccessary. The fact that you threw her a bone in this thread matters not. You seem to STILL be on the kick that if someone says something other than what you want to hear, you attack. Just like a new poster. If people are trying to HELP you, you shouldnt be so disrespectful. IMNSHO.

 

[wileybunch]

l'll add that it does appear that you've lost the desire to let anything roll off your back or think of another approach besides planning to go to court over every little thing and speaking in that sort of hammer way with Mom. While this Mom may be one that never gets it and always has boundary issues (believe me, if you have one of these, I GREATLY sympathize!), I think some lightening up in your tone and approach is in order. If you end up having to go to court, you end up having to go to court. But, I think you may be making this harder on yourself and coming across as more of a jerk and upping the animosity along the way unnecessarily. It's hard to really "fault" you if you're dealing with a boundary control problem Mom because they are sooo difficult to deal with and yet I do think you are adding to the fire at this point.

 

[stealth2]

Well, I'm not trying to come across as a "white knight" when you get right down to it. I am being an involved/concerned parent. I always thought it was in the job description.

The order currently gives "an extra day or two", at least(this year it's 5 nights), to The Ex at the beginning of the Christmas/Winter break, and I'm not begrudging that in the least. It's what the order states. I am fine with "1/2 of the remaining overnights" as long as I actually get them. And fixed dates would end up causing LMPS to miss school at some point, considering the potential differences in lenghts of school breaks(last year was just over a week, this year is just over 2 weeks.

Okay... I was trying to be nice. Lately, you come off pretty obnoxious. I've been rather perplexed by the "love affair" other seniors have with you despite the attitude. But hey - carry on. I'll continue to ignore your threads, which I am sure you won't care about. Have a good one.

 

[texastepmom]

you could do something like my dh's xmas order...

one parent gets the time from when school is let out for the holiday, until noon on the 27th, the other parent gets from noon on the 27th until the child goes back to school... then alternate years. it usually ends up that one parent gets more time than the other, but with the alternating years, it evens out. one parent gets the kid on xmas every year and has an extra day to get back in town for the exchange, and the other parent gets new years.