Terminating Parental Rights

[nythng4mygrl]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LA

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. I have received a letter from dad's attorney regarding his wanting to terminate parental rights and be relieved of child support. I know in this state if parental rights are terminated, child support stops. I know he has an obligation to pay child support currently, however I don't want to force my daughter on him anymore. Part of me is saying just let him sign, and walk away, then part of me is saying no way, she is the one that will get hurt from this. He really is not involved with her, and his excuse is that he is tired of fighting with his wife and I over my daughter and having to go to court. He is in contempt for no-showing to drug screens, and will most likely be in trouble with judge since this is his 3rd time not obeying court orders within 1 year.

Am I wrong by asking my attorney to negotiate dad letting me have sole legal/physical custody, striking overnight visits, and allowing every other Sunday or whatever day he has time for our girl, and in return I will not raise his child support? I sort of feel like I have the upper hand right now, and I think he is scared to go to court. I do not want him to terminate his rights, but I feel that if he brought this up, maybe I should give in to his selfishness and let him walk away. I am completely on the fence as my daughter hates to go over there and has been screaming and crying when she has to go for the last 4 years every other weekend, then sometimes she misses him and wants to see him for awhile.

My absolute last resort is to ask him to pay the remainder of my daughter's tuition at school, one more month of child support, and I would like for him to continue to carry her on his insurance policy as secondary insurance. With our insurance policies combined, we both owe nothing, and she is in and out of the hospital during the winter which becomes costly.

I am coming to you since you are straight up and brutally honest, and I am looking for that. I don't want opinions from my friends and family because everyone has different outlook. Some say go ahead and move on without his help, others say stick him where it hurts, in his pockets, and then there is my poor innocent angel who doesn't like going to daddy's one day, then sometimes after 2 months pass by, she wants to see him.... Then there is the stepmom. I would LOVE to have 5 minutes with her!!!! Please help....What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[CourtClerk]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LA

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. I have received a letter from dad's attorney regarding his wanting to terminate parental rights and be relieved of child support.

Tell them no thank you and throw the letter away. There's nothing else to say.

If you're "forcing" your daughter on him, that's your fault. Let it alone. If nothing happens, nothing happens.

 

[cyjeff]

He, as a parent, has a responsibility to financially support his child.

You, as a parent, have a responsibility to MAKE him financially support his child.

Throw the letter away.

 

[TheGeekess]

Here's a search I ran on the LA legislative site:
Search Results

I don't think he can do what he wants to do legally.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Thank you ladies. When I said I was forcing my daughter on him, I meant that it is court ordered I transport her to him every other weekend, and she did not want to go. Other than that, she has no contact with him, unless it's his holiday. He has not been to one social function of her's, nor has he attended any school event.

So, am I safe to ask my attorney for sole custody, and then if dad wants her whenever, so be it, but keep the check coming??

 

[CourtClerk]

So, am I safe to ask my attorney for sole custody, and then if dad wants her whenever, so be it, but keep the check coming??

You can ask your attorney whatever you want. Your attorney can't give you sole custody, only a court can do that. However, I always wanted to know why it is that people ask complete strangers what course to take with the lives of themselves and their children. If you don't have the confidence to do that without asking a bunch of people who couldn't pick you out of a line-up, I worry.

This is a decision you need to make for your life and the life of the child you gave birth to. Not a decision that should be made on an internet message board.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Thank you Court Clerk. I know what I want to do in my heart, but my gut is telling me to the complete opposite. You guys are straight to the point, and don't know me, and I am only seeking advice of my legal rights. If he is willing to throw away his daughter, that is his problem, and I will handle that with her. I depend on his support to clothe her, put a roof over her head, send her to school, and feed her. Why should she have to do without, when she has done NOTHING wrong??? I only came on here to ask about the Sole Custoday situation. He is trying to avoid court, and I think this is why he came up with terminating his rights. He is in ALOT of trouble and does not want to face the judge. Most of the advice received from this forum is made up of Professionals that are experienced and have been doing this for many years, some decades. I want to put my eggs in one basket before I go to my attorney torn up on what decision to make. I will not BASE my decision on what a complete stranger on an internet board tells me. I am merely seeking advice on the legal aspect of it, before getting back to my attorney. I know I don't HAVE to agree to anything, but I want to do what is in the best interest of my daughter, and that is all.

 

[CourtClerk]

I depend on his support to clothe her, put a roof over her head, send her to school, and feed her.

That is a problem.... you should NEVER be depending on child support to do these things. EVER. Who you should be depending on to clothe her, put a roof over her head, send her to school and feed her is YOU. That's the only guarantee you have. Otherwise, you are setting yourself and your daughter up for failure - and you'll have no one to blame when/if that day comes but you.

 

[cyjeff]

That is a problem.... you should NEVER be depending on child support to do these things. EVER. Who you should be depending on to clothe her, put a roof over her head, send her to school and feed her is YOU. That's the only guarantee you have. Otherwise, you are setting yourself and your daughter up for failure - and you'll have no one to blame when/if that day comes but you.

To echo this....

YOU have a financial responsibility to the child which is exactly the same as the child's father.

The father should be supporting his child... not you.

That would make you one of those moms we have all heard about.

And don't even start giving us garbage about how you can't/won't/shouldn't have to work.

Think of the kind of life your daughter would have if mommy would get a decent job.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Ok, that didn't work. Let me re-phrase this. Daddy's support is FACTORED in with bringing up my daughter. I have a GREAT job, taht pays well, and I have been there for the last 10 years. Unfortunately it is daddy that does not work, and his little $350 is not enough to support me if I did not have a job. It does however help to clothe my daughter, feed her, and pay for her tuition to the excellent catholic school that she is in. I assure you, I am NOT one of those moms and my daughter is WELL taken care of by myself.

My question has still yet to be answered, but that is fine. I now know what I need to do.

Thanks anyway.

 

[Bloopy]

My question has still yet to be answered, but that is fine. I now know what I need to do.

Your question was answered;

Tell them no thank you and throw the letter away. There's nothing else to say.

If you're "forcing" your daughter on him, that's your fault. Let it alone. If nothing happens, nothing happens.

I’ll add a more satisfying suggestion.

Go buy the Cabbage Patch Doll that most resembles him and tell it what an unfeeling jerk he is. Do this when your daughter is not around to hear it.

Am I wrong by asking my attorney to negotiate dad letting me have sole legal/physical custody, striking overnight visits, and allowing every other Sunday or whatever day he has time for our girl, and in return I will not raise his child support?

Yes. You are wrong to do this. Do nothing. You won't be the parent limiting his contact. Seem's like you'll get this anyway.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Thank you Bloopy. You all have a Happy New Year! I know I will!