Father having daughter be the "grown-up"

[mdmother]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Md

My daughter is 8 years old and her father and I have a pretty good relationship. Sometimes we do not agree on everything and have been to mediation a few times, but for the most part, work together to make our daughter's life the best we can since we are not together.

My question is this: When my daughter talks with her father during the week or is at his house for their time together, she asks me things that in my opinion he and I should be working out without involving her. For example, pick up and drop off times, activities that she wants to do at his house on my time, medical issues such as him taking her to the doctor and not informing me then her calling to tell me that he took her and she was diagnosed with asthma, etc. I have told her that I needed to speak with him about these concerns and he gets upset at me on the phone and asks me why I can't just tell her because he is busy. These are things that I believe he and I should work out instead of involving her however, he continues to involve her even after I have spoken to him about this. Is there anything else that I can do to relieve this situation or should I just let it go and every time tell her to put him on the phone?

I sincerely appreciate your help and have been reading this forum for quite some time with much interest!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Md

My daughter is 8 years old and her father and I have a pretty good relationship. Sometimes we do not agree on everything and have been to mediation a few times, but for the most part, work together to make our daughter's life the best we can since we are not together.

My question is this: When my daughter talks with her father during the week or is at his house for their time together, she asks me things that in my opinion he and I should be working out without involving her. For example, pick up and drop off times, activities that she wants to do at his house on my time, medical issues such as him taking her to the doctor and not informing me then her calling to tell me that he took her and she was diagnosed with asthma, etc. I have told her that I needed to speak with him about these concerns and he gets upset at me on the phone and asks me why I can't just tell her because he is busy. These are things that I believe he and I should work out instead of involving her however, he continues to involve her even after I have spoken to him about this. Is there anything else that I can do to relieve this situation or should I just let it go and every time tell her to put him on the phone?

I sincerely appreciate your help and have been reading this forum for quite some time with much interest!

You should let it go and every time tell her to put him on the phone with you. If you keep doing that then eventually he will stop involving her and will ask to speak to you.

 

[thedoctorisin]

I've found professional counseling to be helpful in dealing with this problem. If your ex will not agree to go, at least you and your daughter could go. The counselor will be able to help your daughter understand that these are adult issues that she should not be placed in the middle of.