7 Year Old Left Alone

[MommaD]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

My husband's son just turned 7 today. He has been concerned the last few months that his mother basically has other priorities. He gets off of school at 3:30pm and never knows who is going to pick him up. She hasn't had him enrolled in afterschool care in over a year. She has older children who basically take on the burden of caring for him when it's inconvenient for mom.

Anyway, Dad talked to Mom for about 30 minutes this afternoon and having a plesant conversation for the first time in a long while. He told her he didn't want to upset her just concerned that their son needs more stability. Dad is off work early everyday and has offered to get him after school everyday and Mom says no. She doesn't want that hung over her head. She said he's proving that he's smart and mature and can handle being home alone.

Dad's position is, this is completely rediculous. Even if he was exceptionally smart (and Dad having worked with him on his homework and seeing the number of days he is missing school because it's his OWN responsibility to wake himself up and get himself there on time - he's struggling). But even if he were the most intelligent dad's opinion is - you have a 7 year old - small boy - walking from school, into apartments and into his apartment. Anyone could see him, follow him, he'd have no defense. Aside from the fact that if the apartment were to catch on fire - a 7 year old would not know the proper way to respond.

Dad is feeling like this is a serious issue and doesn't know what to do. Mom says, "Don't even threaten CPS because my friend's Aunt works for CPS and she told me it was fine". Any advise here for a baffled Dad? He wants to help him and do what's right but does he have any recourse?

 

[MommaD]

To clarify, the older siblings are not living in the home and are actually out of town right now. Mom specifically told Dad that he is being left home alone and proving that he's responsible and capable of doing so. So Dad doesn't THINK he's staying home alone, he KNOWS he is and terrified with this knew info.

 

[Ohiogal]

The child may be mature enough to stay at home for a little bit by himself. Many children are latchkey children. YOU quite frankly are butting in.

 

[Silverplum]

The child may be mature enough to stay at home for a little bit by himself. Many children are latchkey children.

I was, at age 7.

Of course, that was a hundred and fifty years ago...

 

[stealth2]

Please ask Dad to come and post his concerns himself. Thank you.

 

[Isis1]

I was, at age 7.

Of course, that was a hundred and fifty years ago...

so are you saying you aren't mature enough now?

 

[Silverplum]

so are you saying you aren't mature enough now?

Pretty much!

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

My husband's son just turned 7 today. He has been concerned the last few months that his mother basically has other priorities. He gets off of school at 3:30pm and never knows who is going to pick him up. She hasn't had him enrolled in afterschool care in over a year. She has older children who basically take on the burden of caring for him when it's inconvenient for mom.

Anyway, Dad talked to Mom for about 30 minutes this afternoon and having a plesant conversation for the first time in a long while. He told her he didn't want to upset her just concerned that their son needs more stability. Dad is off work early everyday and has offered to get him after school everyday and Mom says no. She doesn't want that hung over her head. She said he's proving that he's smart and mature and can handle being home alone.

Dad's position is, this is completely rediculous. Even if he was exceptionally smart (and Dad having worked with him on his homework and seeing the number of days he is missing school because it's his OWN responsibility to wake himself up and get himself there on time - he's struggling). But even if he were the most intelligent dad's opinion is - you have a 7 year old - small boy - walking from school, into apartments and into his apartment. Anyone could see him, follow him, he'd have no defense. Aside from the fact that if the apartment were to catch on fire - a 7 year old would not know the proper way to respond.

Dad is feeling like this is a serious issue and doesn't know what to do. Mom says, "Don't even threaten CPS because my friend's Aunt works for CPS and she told me it was fine". Any advise here for a baffled Dad? He wants to help him and do what's right but does he have any recourse?

First, you need to understand that anything that is done needs to be done by your husband, not you. If you try to do anything other than get info for him, you will be jeopardizing his chances at succeeding in getting help for his son.

That said, you and husband are correct to be concerned. At age 7, no matter how smart a child is, is too young to be alone after school. Your husband should get a consult with an attorney to see what his realistic chances are for getting a modification of the custody/visitation order. Since Dad is able to get son after school, it is ridiculous that Mom isn't allowing it. If Dad can prove the situation to a Judge, he might be able to get a court order that will force Mom to allow him to pick up his son.

 

[Ohiogal]

First, you need to understand that anything that is done needs to be done by your husband, not you. If you try to do anything other than get info for him, you will be jeopardizing his chances at succeeding in getting help for his son.

That said, you and husband are correct to be concerned. At age 7, no matter how smart a child is, is too young to be alone after school. Your husband should get a consult with an attorney to see what his realistic chances are for getting a modification of the custody/visitation order. Since Dad is able to get son after school, it is ridiculous that Mom isn't allowing it. If Dad can prove the situation to a Judge, he might be able to get a court order that will force Mom to allow him to pick up his son.

really? What about me and the others who were latchkey kids at that age and survived and flourished? You can NOT make that general statement and have it be correct. Some children at age 7 are mature enough and others are not. We don't know about this child.

 

[MommaD]

The child may be mature enough to stay at home for a little bit by himself. Many children are latchkey children. YOU quite frankly are butting in.

How exactly am I butting in? I posted a question on here for my husband to help him have some advice because I have NONE! We have a child together but as you read through my post you'll see I mention Dad and Mom because this is between then but husband is terribly concerned about his 7 year old son being left unsupervised daily and while I share his concern this is HIS issue.

I thought it was okay to post a question on behalf of my spouse and not use the WE or say MY STEP SON which I didn't.

Anyhow, thanks for you advice. Looking into CPS there is no specified age so I guess dad would have to get a lawyer or file a complaint with CPS to get an investigation and opinion that is specific to his son.

 

[MommaD]

Please ask Dad to come and post his concerns himself. Thank you.

Dad doesn't do so well with typing. I guess I could have opened a fake account pretending to be him to get him some advice but I HONESTLY THOUGHT I've read before it's okay to post questions about a situation with your spouse and their children as long as you specify it as such, you are here to get info for them and are not acting like it's your issue or has anything to do with you because I'm QUITE CLEAR on the fact that I am a legal stranger.

 

[MommaD]

First, you need to understand that anything that is done needs to be done by your husband, not you. If you try to do anything other than get info for him, you will be jeopardizing his chances at succeeding in getting help for his son.

That said, you and husband are correct to be concerned. At age 7, no matter how smart a child is, is too young to be alone after school. Your husband should get a consult with an attorney to see what his realistic chances are for getting a modification of the custody/visitation order. Since Dad is able to get son after school, it is ridiculous that Mom isn't allowing it. If Dad can prove the situation to a Judge, he might be able to get a court order that will force Mom to allow him to pick up his son.

Understood and Agreed. Thank you for your input.

 

[MommaD]

really? What about me and the others who were latchkey kids at that age and survived and flourished? You can NOT make that general statement and have it be correct. Some children at age 7 are mature enough and others are not. We don't know about this child.

I understand there are different maturity levels at all ages and all kids are different. Dad's feeling is that a typical 7 year old lacks the ability to make decisions that sometimes may need to be made while being left at home alone. His bigger concern is someone seeing him, knowing he enters the home wth a key alone, as stated before he's a small child who is walking across a large field, on a sidewalk on a busy street, into a large apartment complex. Just too many what if's.

If something were to happen to him wouldn't a judge question the parent's decision to allow something like this to go on. Couldn't dad be held accountable also if he KNEW mom was letting him stay home alone, not agreeing and doing nothing about it?

 

[stealth2]

Dad doesn't do so well with typing. I guess I could have opened a fake account pretending to be him to get him some advice but I HONESTLY THOUGHT I've read before it's okay to post questions about a situation with your spouse and their children as long as you specify it as such, you are here to get info for them and are not acting like it's your issue or has anything to do with you because I'm QUITE CLEAR on the fact that I am a legal stranger.

You can post whatever you like, for whomever you like. But... we can also choose who we reply to and who we don't. *I* prefer to deal with only the parents involved.

 

[Ohiogal]

I understand there are different maturity levels at all ages and all kids are different. Dad's feeling is that a typical 7 year old lacks the ability to make decisions that sometimes may need to be made while being left at home alone. His bigger concern is someone seeing him, knowing he enters the home wth a key alone, as stated before he's a small child who is walking across a large field, on a sidewalk on a busy street, into a large apartment complex. Just too many what if's.

If something were to happen to him wouldn't a judge question the parent's decision to allow something like this to go on. Couldn't dad be held accountable also if he KNEW mom was letting him stay home alone, not agreeing and doing nothing about it?

Not necessarily. Depends on what. Also depends on what backups mom has in place such as does a neighbor friend know he is a latchkey child and is watching out for him. Are there security doors on the complex? Are there locked gates? And a TYPICAL 7 year old does NOT matter. What matters is this seven year old. Is the child comfortable with the arrangement or not.